I had to cancel everything and bring him home. I have a couple of theories about him but he just slumped in the wheelchair, mostly unresponsive. The workers found it "funny" thank God.
But I am coming to the conclusion he can't do this anymore. I think it will be fairer to us both to just put it to rest (the business). I will talk to him when he is "better" but my plan for tomorrow: take the bus to that Walmart that isn't far on the bus line, see if that is actually DOable. If it is, apply. I can't go on like this dragging incoherent meat around in the wheelchair and propping it up while I work. I am tired of worrying about us getting booted from the program.
So I'm going to do that tomorrow after my phone appointment.
So: not a great morning. I had to cancel our delivery and the shopping trip to buy more inventory. I stocked what I had, that's all I could do.
I also talked to the other vendor, who told me they have a virus case in the building, one of the workers tested positive. I had read, in a pandemic, it is best to come home, do laundry, and shower quickly so I did that today. Ron wasn't interested.
And I threw my clothes in the washer with yet another sheet. Good thing I do own a washer and dryer.
18 comments:
Can you call the doctor about his being “slumped in the wheelchair unresponsive” yes, we know you don’t want to physically take him to an appointment but much like your phone appointment with your doctor he can do the same. He could have been having a seizure even, doesn’t always have to be thrashing about to be having one. This is quite alarming.
And yes, quit the business.
Also why can’t you just go on disability for now? Quit the business and both of you collect benefits. What if he has a seizure while you’re at work?
If he has a seizure for more then 5 minutes; confused for more than 20 after, I call an ambulance at work, although knowing work they could call one anyway assuming he had a "big' seizure.
There is an alternate theory to his behavior I cannot share at present. I will discuss when I can but smart readers can probably guess, but if I put it in writing it's in writing... [wink]
Lysol makes an antibacterial rinse you can add to your wash to further disinfect it.
You’re not going to do a single thing about Ron’s health issue or your work situation to better any of it.
It matters if I write it.
I am pretty confident in laundry detergent to clean the clothes/bedding. I used the scented paks today, not as heavy a cleaning job. I have "tide" jobs and regular ones and today was more regular. The water and washer do most of the work and the detergent the rest.
Regarding work I am not sure what I can do so much rests on him and he isn't really a good pillar right now. That's the best way I can phrase it. If necessary I can ride the bus and Uber and do the stocking that way. I need to talk with him when he is better and also do my trial run to the store and see if it's feasible for me to work there.
I need to talk to him after he gets some rest, he is sleeping through the yard guy he is that exhausted, he had a pretty bad night. He goes up and down, some days "I can do it" other days "I want out" it is hard to predict.
The problem for us, once he is out he is never getting back. Ideally I would find some sort of phone job he could do if he wanted a few hours while I was at work, not telemarketing - or maybe he is really ready to resign. I don't know right now.
Ron doing a customer service phone job. LOL. You really are smoking something.
Maybe something like 311, he used to do that. He was actually a certified crisis counselor in the 90's. He hasn't done well unemployed in the past but he has never been such a wreck, either. We will have to figure it out.
Why would he want to go back? He’s almost 70. There’s no going back so stop talking about him returning. Why does he need to keep working? My dad is younger than him and is RETIRED. No more work. And he’s not half dead like Ron.
I don’t think it is up to Ron. He is physically and mentally unfit. Looks like your options are you can work part time at Walmart and ride the bus. You can leave Ron at home and ride the bus to your current job. Or you can both stay home and collect disability and other benefits. Ron shouldn’t be “working” or being dragged out for a free paratransit ride. He is not qualified to do a phone job.
In the 90s. 30 years ago.
You need to accept the fact that he can no longer work. just freaking stop it.
Already waffling and it hasn't even been a few hours
Re: the “Theories”.
Why would you knowingly take him to work???
Some times he is a little groggy but OK once he gets going, like most of us I think. On occasion, like today, he does not snap out of it.
It's not "waffling" to say I don't know what to do. What is best for BOTH of us.
What I can do is go on the bus tomorrow that will inform my choice to apply, there is also a grocery store not far I can also try. Both Walmart and groceries are pretty desperate for people, from what I understand.
Ideally I can put in "I need these days off" (some week days) and work both the business and the other job. If I can't that will inform other decisions... not to be made lightly because once he resigns that's it.
It should be real feeding frenzy of other vendors competing.
Really and where exactly does he get going to? The kitchen to drink vodka or his bed? The man cannot function and no one will hire him to work. He is done. That's it. You are still fairly young and have wasted 20 years of your life working for him with nothing to show for it. It's time for you to stand on your own and work a job. If you are happy supporting an abusive drunk while you work full time that is your business. But as his episodes of seizures escalates he will have to placed or you will have to have someone with him while you work full time.
If you are going to keep the business and have to take an uber to and from work then he needs to be the one to pay for those expenses out of his paycheck. Those are after all business expenses. It is a shame to lose a business you have emotionally invested in but at the end of the day it is his business and not yours so you have no say in the matter once he passes or goes in a nursing home that is the end of it anyway. Better to move on, on your own terms than be forced to because of one of those 2 options.
Any reason you couldn't work at home answering phone calls?
Plus he can pay you a salary to be his caregiver. You just have to write up an agreement and I believe you can get the form online.
I don't think he would "let" me work from home it would be too tempting having me there, drunken episodes, etc. I am pretty sure I will end up working somewhere else entirely away from him, taking the bus and the rare uber to get to/from work. But I may be able to limp the business along for a little bit.
Also, having my stuff stolen oddly enough made me not care about what's left. So I would be OK having someone in the house now, ideally a man.
What is the difference between being unemployed and having a job and never going to it?
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