He needed help with something last night; I gave it. I have to answer to God - that is a huge responsibility. Anyway, I can live with my response to his request for help.
He was very grateful and said he wished he could do something for me. I gently pointed out I needed my sleep that night and being quiet would be a GREAT start. He eagerly told me he would... and he did, until 3.
He was listening to "You are always on my mind" by Willie Nelson and started crying, very hard. It of course woke me up, I had to get up and console him, etc. He said he was crying because he loved me.
At least he wasn't crying wishing he could have that kind of love. I decided to get up for a while and did.
He was doing really well until he brought up the thing we don't talk about, a mistake I made while manic 26 years ago. I don't like to talk about it. I was manic. I was stupid. Ron took advantage of that and it is, in my book, NOTHING for him to be proud of, but he is and liked to talk about it a lot. I have told him REPEATEDLY I won't talk about it.
Unfortunately I believe he told Chuck about it.
The really awful thing for me is realizing he is going to tell everyone in the nursing home, when he gets there. He has less discretion these days. Other than that it hasn't been a bad morning.
He is eating right now, when he finishes I will go back to bed for a while.
1 comment:
So much for getting sleep at night. I guess you can cross that off your list.
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