Ron has been listening to music, and crying, most of the day. I just let him.
One thing a therapist told us - about the only real insight of value - was that Ron had not grieved his many losses in life, and he has become more disabled and lost both parents since then.
So I figured he was due, and would get it out of his system. It appears I was correct. He has calmed down now... a lot of stress on us.
I guess I am glad he didn't have a blackout. And that is a healthier way to cope than many.
It was very depressing for me, if I'm selfish here. I was already battling a horrible depression and sad music + him crying didn't do much for my mood. I had a horrible time getting up the energy to take a shower, which I did, and then he fell asleep for a while so I took a nap.
Oh, boy, now it's Karen Carpenter. This could go for a while. But I think it is very healthy. I made a comment to him but later took it back, said if he wanted to cry go ahead, it was not my job to tell him no; I had people tell me what to feel and it wasn't fair.
So hopefully I did the right thing.
I did give Baby Girl some extra treats she is with him, and apparently his only consolation.
7 comments:
Did he actually tell you why he was crying or are you assuming
He was crying over the music, sad love songs, kept saying Baby Girl's name too. I have to figure it is good for him to get it out of his system.
That's one thing people have said about me the last 20 years I don't cry when I should. I was so volatile as a kid/teen I hate crying and see it as a sign of instability. I am working on that.
So he didn’t say he was crying about his family and upbringing. You are assuming that. What if he’s in pain?
No this was emotional pain crying, I have heard physical generally he screams STOP IT repeatedly.
He is going to be a true wreck when Baby Girl dies, this sounds awful but I hope he dies first.
He needs help. You are not able to understand his emotional needs or respond to them in a healthy way. He needs to talk to a professional who can help him work through whatever is going on. This can be done by phone. Call 211 in Houston for help finding a provider.
Let's assume you are correct and he is grieving the many losses in his life. Listening to music and crying is not going to "get it out of his system" as you say. His life has been complicated and tragic. He is sick (and he doesn't understand why or what is going to happen) and he is isolated.
He won't do it. I will ask when he isn't, ah, "busy".
better to grieve it out of your system than to dwell on it the rest of your life through therapy
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