Pretty pissed at Ron today. Last night, he did his usual "drink and go to bed" routine. Fine.
I went to bed. He proceeded to babble, shout, and yell, off and on, throughout the night. I asked him to stop. I begged him to stop. I demanded he stop. I figured out he was listening to a talking book, and talking back to it. So I took out the cartridge. That slowed him down a little but not much.
All told, I asked him to stop over a dozen times. Just as I'd fall asleep, he'd shout again and wake me up again.
Unfortunately, I have the kind of system where I wake up at 7 every day, even if Ron, or #6, have kept me up all night. I can't sleep in if someone's kept me up: I have to get up.
So here I am on minimal sleep. When I got up I found Ron in his room petting Torbie. I walked in. "Oh, Torbie is so cute" he said.
"You kept me up all night yelling". I replied, and told him about it. He started cursing and then went and drank a couple of shots of vodka, and went to bed. So now he will be fresh and rested tonight and I won't. I actually asked him that, and he said "Well, I've got nothing else to do".
I told him, and I will tell him again, if I do not get my sleep tonight I will not go and do the supply run tomorrow. He will just have to be out of inventory until he can "let" me sleep again.
11 comments:
Will you leave him now that he's not letting you sleep (again)?
I hope he doesn't keep you awake tonight but if he does I hope you follow through with NOT getting the inventory. Since whoever employs him believes a blind man can actually do a job like that for a living then let him figure it out for himself.
Also I think you should add NO more dinners out when he pulls stunts like this. Have a supply of microwave dinners in the freezer so you don't have to go out to eat. Why should you bend over backwards for this man who is so selfish?
Knowing my moods are gloomy on a stormy day I can sympathise with Ron who never sees the sun.
Interesting point.
Yeah that's why he is an SOB because he is blind and can't see the sun. As if any of us can look up at the freaking sun without squinting. He can go outside and feel it on his body if he needs to and if that would cure him of his issues I say go for it. But it won't. His parents contributed to creating the monster that he can be. Shame because he has the potential to be decent some of the time.
Why do we cling to our physical bodies so tightly? In a way it sucks that the doctors were able to save him and give him a life where he is in terrible and horrible pain every single day. That he drinks as a way to cope with never getting better and never not knowing what a day without pain will feel like anymore.
It makes you wonder if he would not have been better off passing in the hospital and finally being free of this physical body with all of it's issues. The problem is that people hold onto life and everyone thinks it's a miracle to be saved from the brink of death when clearly it can be a curse.
So in a way I understand why he does what he does. Though I suspect he may have always had a drinking issue due to his upbringing and other demons within his own family too and the accident just made things even worse in terms of coping and dealing with it. I know he won't go but counseling can do a world of good. Sometimes we are in more pain physically than we have to be because of the emotional and mental state of ourselves. Dealing with these things can release some of that and diminish the physical pain we feel. Though I know due to his injuries it is not a cure for him.
Can't see can't walk and in constant pain...no wonder he drinks.
Ron would agree with some of it, although he doesn't think being blind is even an issue. He's always been blind, he doesn't know vision so he doesn't miss it. He remembers playing with colored blocks so he knows colors, but that's it. He loves eating, though, even though he doesn't look it.
I will have to ask him when he gets up: does he enjoy life? I don't know. He is very depressed, I think some of it is genetic and some of it comes from the accident and his continuing disabilities. Just when he's happy where he is, he gets worse.
I do know he hates drinking. He talks a lot about how much he hates alcohol and how he wishes he didn't "have" to drink. He says the alcohol is the only thing that helps his back. I have suggested we go to a pain clinic.
I asked Ron if he thought he had a good life. His answer was an overwhelming yes. He gave me a long list of good things in his life (I won't repeat them), "a loving wife, who I don't tell I love her enough", etc. So he feels he has a "very good" life.
Do you feel like you have a good life Heather?
Good to hear. Maybe the door is open to talk about prozac.
Do I feel like I have a good life? Most of the time I do, even with the depression and Ron being an alcoholic. I make a living working part-time, Ron isn't controlling, he takes me out to dinner a lot (not lavish places, but good simple food), I have a good faith life, 3 wonderful cats, I have emotional support. I have my medication, and I can afford it. So I would say yes, most of the time I feel like I have a good life.
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