Sunday, June 5, 2016

Worse

I got up this morning with my customary headache.  It's a side effect of pretty much every medication I take.  Along with obesity. 

Anyway, it got me thinking about my list of priorities when I am depressed:
Cat care (food, litter)
Ron care (he can do more for himself than the cats)
Self care (shower)
God Time

Today I woke up with a pretty vicious headache.  I managed to complete my list but I was pretty beat. 

I laid down again for a nap and got a pretty good duration, not a good quality.  Weird nightmares which are pretty common for a migraine. 

When I got up later I cooked some pasta and took my meds. Some things just HAVE to happen. 

I asked Ron if he could help get me some Tylenol, he hides it in his room somewhere.  He kept telling me to take it out of his fanny pack. 

I don't want to do that because he takes the medicine out of the bottles, puts them into other bottles, and also has glucosamine in a similar bottle.  They look identical.  I didn't want to mix them up and spend all night on the toilet, wracked with cramps, in addition to the migraine. 

I told Ron I would wait until he got them. 

Ron was completely drunk on the floor by this time, and responded by calling me a bitch and a game player.  How am I playing games to ask for pain killers? 

I took some aspirin instead.  Ron got really angry when he heard that.  I don't know if it was because I wasn't "on the hook", in pain, and waiting on him anymore; or whether he felt I should have just taken the aspirin to begin with.  He started again with the verbal abuse. 

It is so ironic, because Ron was so "protective' of me when we first started dating, complaining my shoes were too tight, my hours too long, the boss was mean, they had me working the shit detail, I shouldn't have to walk home, etc.  My family, he said, was abusive and when I told him a few stories he was horrified. 

It's ironic because he's become the thing he claimed to detest.  He is abusive, both verbally and physically; he is an unfair boss, he isn't very appreciative, etc.  All these things he swore he hated. 

Now I realize maybe they bothered him because they reminded him of himself.  Remember, the lion preys on the wounded gazelle. 

With regards to tonight, I will prevent this from happening again by purchasing my own small bottle of Tylenol to take as needed.  Then I won't have to ask. 

I don't expect him to make my life easier but I sure wish he wouldn't make it worse. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I bought myself bluetooth headphones and when my husband starts a rant i put them on. I am going to try dbt therapy, have you Heather ever had it? If so care to comment? I found the free pdf of the dbt work book online and it seems perfect for me ..but will i trust it and follow through?
Menopause gave me a set back and i came flying out of remission. Seeing a new therapist, starting a new ( to me ) therapy

Headaches gone , but crazy needs tweeking ..you are so lucky to have a doc who knows you, your history, respects your intelligence! ...and works with you..I will never think i wm " over it" again, you learned early got diagnosed followed through.

If Ron could just allow some light into his world. But you need to do you! Many hugs dear gurl. I am planning easy food for the upcoming week We need to eat, sleep take our meds and be kind to ourselves
Thanks again

Crewel world

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