Friday, June 17, 2016

Worn out

"Ron" I hissed at him as we stood at work "I will not tolerate verbal abuse.  You stop it, or I will leave you!"

I got up at 2 AM, with a headache.  I took a shower and went to work anyway.  I helped Ron as much as possible while doing my own work.  He hasn't had a complaint about my end of things in a very long time. 

I dealt with the phony refund lady, who ate nearly an entire bag of Hot Fries before deciding "They were stale".  I showed her the expiration date, in November.  She demanded another bag. 

"I thought they were stale" I replied, realizing she just wanted a free bag of chips. 

"Fine then" she said "Give me my money".  I was not about to give her another bag of chips to eat, then decide "They were stale" and ask for her money anyway.  I have plenty of customers who LOVE the product. 

When I told Ron about it, he approved.  A while later he called me "worthless" for some reason.  Then a "bitch". 

That's when I had my little talk with him.  I told him no matter how upset he is, verbal abuse is NOT OK and it needs to stop if he wants to remain married.  I was clearly upset but not reactive. 

He told me [verbal abuse] was his "First Amendment right" and I "couldn't control him, bitch."  I told him verbal abuse made me feel bad and I was sure he didn't want to do that. 

"If you're fucking up" he replied "You deserve to hear it."  I was just so disgusted.  AM disgusted. 

One of the custodians came up to me, and this is such an example of the hypocrisy: he was all concerned.  I told him I had just endured some verbal abuse and I was a little upset. 

"Who did that?  They can't do that here!"  I told him it was Ron. 

"Oh, he didn't mean it". 

Yes, he did. I thought. 

It was totally wrong if someone else did it, but if it's Ron, that's OK.  I'm not sure whether it's because he is crippled, or my husband, but whatever it is seems to give him a free pass. 

When he makes a mistake, I NEVER name-call.  I just try to figure out how to fix it, whatever it is.  I would never flog him verbally. 

I went from one verbally abusive situation to another, but I have to say Ron is far worse.  I so wish I could go back in time, sometimes, and warn myself to run. 

I work very hard and don't appreciate him pissing on my hard work.  I try very hard to be pleasant and accommodating.  I always rush to help him when he starts bellowing for me.  I work with one eye behind my back watching him for any sign he needs help. 

And he calls me a stupid bitch.  Or worse, a "blank". That's what he does, he uses the word "blank" instead of "bitch" so I can't complain about that.  It's possible someone called him on that and that was his response. 

He never listens to any opinions or advice I have, I am "harming" him when I do that even if he takes the advice.  I just offer the opinion or whatever and leave it up to him. 

And my phone is dead! 

I tell you, at least I got a good nap.  All medication is on board.  Torbie napped with me and we had a good time.  Even Biscuit got onboard at the last minute. 

The air conditioner is working and I'm going out to dinner, but I am worn out. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

He is very lucky to have you and knows you are safe target. You mentioned he is " narcissitic" his patterns of behavior sure sounds like it. Have you tried online support for families affected by this? They have groupa for everything!
Take care and be kind to yourself

A visit with the parents

So, my Dad's in town.  Along with my adoptive Mom.  Say what you will, she did raise me.  I slept pretty well last night - no noise.  ...