"It must be nice"

I wish I could say my Day out went really well. 

Ron gave me enough money for a one-way cab.  I called one of our drivers, who was local.  He took me to the hair place.

I got my "hair did".  As it turns out, I have a very low hairline in the back (down to the back of my neck).  It is a "feature" of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  Because of it, she explained, she couldn't cut my hair as short.  She could, but she'd have to shave my neck. 

I wasn't interested in that so I just left her to do it.  A guy came in after me and she went right to him after finishing with me. 

I will say my hair is a lot better, I just wish I didn't have to compromise.  Oh well, I can say my hair is a lot "better" than some. 

It's always behaved and it has a nice wave and color, even with the graying brown, it doesn't look bad. 

We got some good news before I left.  Ron called the vet to see if he could take the cone off Torbie.  They said no (thank God) but they did say it would be fine to bring her in next week instead of the week after.  I guess they are under-booked.  He set that up and was put on the line with someone (probably Doc) who told him the pathology reports came back for Torbie, she does not have cancer, "it wasn't bad" whatever it was, and they had gotten the entire thing so it wouldn't come back.  Good. 

To celebrate, I took some photos. 

You can't see her foot but you get the general idea.  She looks like it's a bonnet. 

Pretty cute! 

She has two orange legs and two brown ones.  You can see that in the lowest photo.  On her back legs, they are reversed, so the surgery leg is orange and the "intact" leg is brown. 

Ron was pretty sweet with her, but he started talking enough to scare me:
1.  Maybe I shouldn't eat.  It will inhibit the alcohol soaking in and I won't get as drunk.  (He ate anyway)

2.  If you're gone, it won't matter if I have a blackout. 

3.  I wanted to watch your TV but I couldn't find the remote.  [I don't want a drunk man operating my television]

He didn't bother me much while I was gone but he did send me a text message. 

I so wish I could have found a caregiver group in Houston.  Why, you may ask? 

Well, it's exhausting taking care of someone else.  In some ways Ron is the toddler that will never grow up.  Except this one drinks and has blackouts.  I am always putting him first, always conditioned to do that. 

Then I walk into the fast food place and get the whole "Where's Ron" routine.  I explained I needed a day to myself to prevent caregiver burnout. 

"OH" he said in a sarcastic voice "It must be nice having a whole day to run around."

If you don't have personal time that is your problem.  YOU are the one who went into restaurant management, a notorious field for working you to death.  YOU are the one who got married and had kids.  You got to choose all of that. 

The only choice I had was take Ron or let him go to a nursing home.  I made my choice and I stand by it.  Although I do wonder where I would be right now if I hadn't. 

But it's probably better I don't know. 

I was really hurt by that.  My lunch didn't go down very well after that.  I did take my pills, bitterly wondering if he ALSO had mental illness on top of his other problems like I do.  And brain damage, can't forget that.  I can't forget that everytime I want to go somewhere and have to take a cab or bus. 

I went to a dollar store.  Ron had mentioned he wanted AAA batteries so I found some on sale and bought him a couple packages.  They really were 16 for $1.  I hope they are long-lived. 

I bought myself some peanut butter candy.  It was good.

I walked all the way back to the Starbucks on the corner after deciding to skip Mardel.  I didn't want to face questions about Ron and why we took the vending machine.  (It didn't have any sales and they were pretty demanding about it - some of them, at least). 

I started walking back.  It was oppressively hot, humid, and sunny.  It must have had a heat index well over 100.  I entertained myself by wondering whether it was more like walking on a skillet, or a griddle?  I decided a griddle, because they are larger.  I passed a couple of "nice" restaurants. 

I passed an ice cream shop.  I haven't had ice cream in probably 10 years, at least not at a shop.  I decided to take a look.  It was the same chain Dad used to take me to when I was a "good little girl".  I used to love those treats. 

I decided on the lemon custard.  I love lemon. 

I got it in a waffle bowl.  It was an extra dollar but I was OK with that.  It was delicious.  I sat there listening to music on my headphones and eating ice cream, Jesus Metal blaring in my ears. 

Do you know they recently came out with a study that says heavy metal helps with depression?  Not the light metals I take like lithium, but {sticking tongue out}... pretty cool. 

I only got one scoop.  I had just had a burger, half a medium fries, and some peanut candy.  I didn't have to worry about my pills, that's for sure. 

They need something solid so I don't get sick.  I had that. 

I got back to the Starbucks and called the cab driver, who basically told me to find my own way home.  [Bad Word]  I saw a bus out of the corner of my eye and I bolted for it. 

I caught it and got home in about an hour.  Not too bad considering and probably faster than calling another cab.  If I can save money, I will. 

If the bus is right in front of me, I'll take it.  That one only leaves once an hour so I got "lucky". 

I did have to stand in the sun at a bus stop for about 20 minutes.  Not fun.  There was some shade but it was away from the stop. 

Now, people from Houston will wait half a block away, in the shade, and expect the bus to stop.  When I lived in CA, I had to be at the stop, looking at the driver, indicating I wanted to ride, or he would pass me up.  These people would do really bad in CA. 

So, as a habit, and because I would rather wait in the sun for 20 minutes than wait in the shade, and sun, for 50 minutes, I wait in the sun and wave at the driver. 

I don't know how that works in other locales.  Maybe you can tell me.  Do you stand at the stop and wave, like me?  Or do you lounge in the shade, a dozen yards away, like the "natives?"

The bus was pretty packed.  Good, they won't be cutting service anytime soon. 

I got off at my stop with 2 other people.  I had some trouble with my MP3 player and fiddled with it for a moment, letting them get ahead.  It was stuck on "Old Time Religion" and wouldn't budge.  I finally turned it off.  The player is looking pretty old and I will need to retire it eventually.  I think I'll get another cheap one, just if I ever get stuck in the hospital I'll have something to listen to without running down my phone. 

I walked home, it wasn't too bad.  We had some breezes and trees in the subdivision. 

I checked the mail, emptying a bunch of trash, it looks like.  I don't check it as much since we put the cats on inside. 

When I got in, I gave Ron his mail (talking books), and threw the rest in the chair.  I took a nap and had very strange dreams, but at least I got some sleep.  I have to go to bed in half an hour and get up at 2 AM.