My hallucinations

Still depressed and mixed moods.  Ron is trying to bait me by playing loud rap music, which he hates.  I can last a lot longer than him. 

Yup, he turned it off. 

So, I thought I might talk about my hallucinations, since I had one today.  I saw "The man who wasn't there" today, at work. 

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
I wish, I wish he’d go away...

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door... (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antigonish_(poem)

I came out of our stockroom and saw a man, standing to one side, wearing a button down shirt and jeans.  He had gray hair, and was working an electronic device.  He didn't look "solid", so I looked away, and then back.  He was gone - a hallucination.  That's a visual hallucination.  I will see something out of the corner of my eye, or when I look away and then back it vanishes. 

I never knew I had tactile hallucinations until I started on antipsychotics.  I was so accustomed to the feeling of bugs crawling on my skin (and yes, it's as bad as it sounds), it was a shock to have it end so easily.  When I was very sick with a migraine and couldn't take my pills, the bugs came back. 

It is occasionally frustrating, because when I encounter real bugs on my skin I tend to dismiss it as a hallucination.  I had a spectacular leg full of fire ant bites as a result, one day while working in the garden. 

Lastly, I have the audio hallucination.  Once, I heard laughter.  No, I have never "heard voices".  I just hear music, like a radio far off, the same motif repeated again and again.  I usually deal with that when I'm trying to sleep.  I have had that lately, a bit. 

So, when I see Doc I think I'll ask him to increase my Haldol.  I'm getting a little tired of this.