This is disgusting by any standard

I don't want to make poor Melanie lose her lunch. 

OK.  Normal day, Baby Girl goes into her litter box.  She runs out like something is chasing her and drops a turd in the doorway. 

Ron is blind.  If Ron gets up he's going to step in that turd and track it everywhere.  Baby Girl looked up at me dejectedly "I'm sorry". 

In a year, she has never done anything like this.  She looked at the turd with sorrow and disgust, then started licking it. 

I realize, in horror, the poor thing is going to EAT it to clean it up!  I pushed her out of the way, got some toilet paper, and flushed it.  She was so thrilled to see it go down the drain. 

I'm going to add, we have four litterboxes, one in each room, for the cats.  I clean them every couple days (they mostly go outside).  When I do clean I find a pee clump or two, and maybe one or two turds per box. 

I often think, of all the cats I've known, Baby Girl is the best candidate for actual toilet training - sitting on the toilet and doing her business. 

I got the carpet cleaner, pet fresh variety (the turds leave a little "crap here" signature scent), and sprayed it in the general area.  I want to make it very clear to both cats the doorway is OFF LIMITS. 

Ron started ranting.  He doesn't like the spray.  I told him, I'm trying to keep this area clear.  More ranting.  "YOUR CAT", I told him. 

You can imagine the excitement when I got the vacuum.  Both cats fled in terror before I even turned it on.  I had disassembled it to clean the filter and the reassembly was not easy.  I couldn't get it to work, and Ron kept making comments to that effect "It's thumping.  Something's wrong." 

Yes.  I.  Know.  That. 

I finally got it working.  Ron did give me some acclaim on that, but I just wanted to vacuum up the stupid cat litter, which had fallen out of the basket when I was working on it.  Then I got the doorway. 

Ron was then pretty upset that the cats ran off due to the vacuum.  It's a normal part of cat life but in his mind I tortured his daughters.  So, I got to hear a lot about that, too. 

Agh.