Monday, March 4, 2013

Root it out

If I'm very reluctant to write a post about myself - it's probably a sign I need to do just that. 

I'm always asking God for help with the pride issue.  I have a very hard time accepting help (not so much these days!),  and, deep inside, want a lot of recognition for the things I do. 

For instance, at various points other people have accused me of not caring about the unreached, or not witnessing.  I am very quick to respond, and the last time I said "If you want to throw down, we can do that.  I just handed out 190 Bibles in the ghetto." 

I never kept track, because I didn't want to have pride issues, but I venture to say I have distributed more Bibles than most.  But this isn't about that - it's about the pride that comes from it. 

When does "Pride in a job well done" end?  Where does "Self-centered pride" come in?  I'm still figuring that out. 

I would love it, if, after every handout, dozens of people told me I was wonderful, for weeks.  Instead, I get a few "likes" on the Facebook and that's about it.  They even liked that ghastly photo of me and Ron.  [shudder]  Orange and white are not slimming colors. 

When I tell average people what I do, most of them think it's a bad idea.  Some of them laugh at me.  A few mention that it's nice, in a "keep it very-very-very-far away from me" voice.  Most are baffled.   I think no one, outside of church, understands. 

It's a little sad and lonely - but I can see why I need to be here.  If I get proud I become useless.  So, God has to prune the pride back, and I have to root it out on a regular basis. 

Still figuring out how to do that. 

2 comments:

Jillian said...

(((Hugs))
Having excessive pride and being proud of a job well done I think are two different things. Most of us like some recognition when we've done a good job; it's only human! I think when pride can become sinful is when it takes over everything else and affects how we treat others.
When people accuse of not doing enough, it's natural to want to retaliate. I think that you do plenty with the resources you have, and that is awesome.

Anonymous said...

Whatever on all that you are very well loved and have tons of support!
" the ghetto"
Is a neighborhood, home