Root it out

If I'm very reluctant to write a post about myself - it's probably a sign I need to do just that. 

I'm always asking God for help with the pride issue.  I have a very hard time accepting help (not so much these days!),  and, deep inside, want a lot of recognition for the things I do. 

For instance, at various points other people have accused me of not caring about the unreached, or not witnessing.  I am very quick to respond, and the last time I said "If you want to throw down, we can do that.  I just handed out 190 Bibles in the ghetto." 

I never kept track, because I didn't want to have pride issues, but I venture to say I have distributed more Bibles than most.  But this isn't about that - it's about the pride that comes from it. 

When does "Pride in a job well done" end?  Where does "Self-centered pride" come in?  I'm still figuring that out. 

I would love it, if, after every handout, dozens of people told me I was wonderful, for weeks.  Instead, I get a few "likes" on the Facebook and that's about it.  They even liked that ghastly photo of me and Ron.  [shudder]  Orange and white are not slimming colors. 

When I tell average people what I do, most of them think it's a bad idea.  Some of them laugh at me.  A few mention that it's nice, in a "keep it very-very-very-far away from me" voice.  Most are baffled.   I think no one, outside of church, understands. 

It's a little sad and lonely - but I can see why I need to be here.  If I get proud I become useless.  So, God has to prune the pride back, and I have to root it out on a regular basis. 

Still figuring out how to do that.