Full Time

"Bipolar madness" - a good description. 

I'm used to manias, used to depressions, used to the psychotic, paranoid, wierd end of things.  I am not used to being manic and exhausted at the same time. 

When I am depressed, I'm always exhausted (unless I am having a mixed episode, up and down at the same time).  When I'm manic, I have more energy... wrong. 

This is a first, an exhausted mania.  Now, I do have a few theories. 

1. I'm taking a potent antipsychotic, and double the lithium I was taking a year ago.   90% odds that's it, right there, and I will just have to accept reduced functioning in exchange for better symptom control.  I am OK with that, and so is Ron.  He doesn't want me to "suffer" mentally. Take that, haters. 
2. My nutrition is not great.  I am fat and eating a lot of sugar and refined carbs.  I need to work on that, and that is something I can actually address.  I can do nothing about #1, especially since the medication is working for me.  None of us, me, Ron, or my doctor, want to mess with something that works. 
3. My lithium level may be too high.  It is possible; I am getting it tested in a few weeks when finances permit. 
4. I may be anemic or have a low thyroid - I am getting all that tested in a few weeks, along with the lithium level. 

In the meantime I'm just exhausted.  I hate to whine but there you have it. 

It's a good thing I work part-time.  I certainly couldn't manage full time.