Working hard

I'm still battling a nasty, mixed, depression.  It's been about a month now, but Doc wasn't worried when I told him. 

I could have another 5 months of this.  Shudder.  Horrible thought! 

You might think, "Heather, you're married to an active alcoholic.  Your business is doing badly.  Of course you are depressed."  Well, I'd be inclined to agree with you, but:

I have had some of my most exciting manias when Ron was at his absolute worst behavior.  I still had a thrilling time.  I had a wonderful mania when Ron was in horrible shape in the hospital.  So, I think my brain just has "seizures". 

That's medically warranted, actually - they have done studies.  Interestingly enough, both bipolar, and migraine sufferers, light up normally dormant areas of the brain, and normally active areas of the brain begin to dim.  That absolutely happens with seizures. 

That's one reason doctors began using seizure medication for bipolar disorder (I currently take lithium as my mood stabilizer).   A blood relative has had some trouble with the common antiseizure drugs, so I shouldn't take them. 

I could also have a "post-ictal" depression - after the migraine.  I'm not really groggy, though.  With the excedrin, I'd be shocked if I were groggy. 

So, what do I do?  Avoid sugar.  Try to do fun things.  Watch Little Bub videos, and interact with my internet friends. 

I'm also thinking about a nap in a little bit.  Probably eat my big meal and then my lithium, first. 

I like having my meds onboard and working hard.