Monday, January 28, 2013

I was having a good day.  Apparently Ron was not.  Remember he has been drinking since we got home around 1. 

He came in while I was on the computer, angry at the bank.  The checking account balance got too low, so they transferred $100 off the credit card to cover it.  He was angry at the bank. 

"Ron" I told him, "The next time you go to the bank disconnect the 'overdraft protection' from your credit card.  If you tell them to take it off they have to do it."  He was pleased to hear that. 

Then he started about "illegal" immigration.  Had I been honest, I would have told him from the start "Ron, I don't want to talk about it." 

What's there to say?  It sucks to live in Mexico, unless you are a wealthy white person.  They don't have running water, safety, health departments, and sanitation.  Many live in filthy slums (ask me about my mission trips) that reek of feces. 

I get that.  I also get the parental urge to "make things better" for your kids.  However, they call it "illegal" immigration because they break laws to get here.  They use up resources allocated for US citizens and cause a hardship on the citizens as a result. 

Ron, however, takes a very annoying "hippie" viewpoint.  "It is all one planet, we should take care of each other".  OK, then, who's going to pay for it?  Because if that guy from Mexico isn't paying for it, if Mexico isn't paying for it, that means America is paying for it and that seems a little unfair. 

Obstinate, he won't hear it.  "We" must take care of everyone in the world.  How? 

I was dying to make the sarcastic comment, if you really think we need to take care of everyone from Mexico, let's give your debit card to the next day laborer we see.  "No!"  Of couse he wouldn't do it.  Same principle. 

We agree on this: only God can fix humanity's problems, humanity cannot take care of itself. 

But he just goes on and on and on and on and on.  I told him I can understand why people come here.  I don't fault them for that.  I fault the Mexican government for allowing such abysmal living conditions, such abusive work environments, such evil violence from the drug cartels, that people would rather die trying to get to America, than live in Mexico. 

That's a pretty sad statement: your country is so awful people are dying to leave it.  I think, if anything could be done, the American government could pressure the Mexicans to make reforms, improve living conditions, etc.  Make Mexico a great place to live! 

Then Ron goes on again about one planet, blah blah, which then morphed into the usual lecture about how God is a slow [censored] who won't come back and save us, who chooses to make us suffer because He can

I finally said, Ron, does it make you feel any better?  What?  When you go on like this, when you finish, do you feel better?  Because I see either the same or an increased level of anger in all these conversations.  You're just angry and it never gets better. 

Ron went off on a tangent without answering.  He was angry at me for my "behavior" this morning.  What did I do?  "You were rude to the second driver". 

The second driver completely ignored me and refused to put up the wheelchair.  I had to lift a 40 pound heavy wheelchair not one week after my back went out and put it away.  Then he tried to play the "Metrolift hustle". 

See, Metrolift will contract a cab driver for a trip.  We have had the experience that when they do that, the driver occasionally tries to pull a double fare, and charge the client and Metrolift.  We had it happen once. 

We have had drivers attempt to do it.  The way to foil it "If Metrolift is not paying you, we need to get out."  That always stops them, then they admit yes, Metrolift hired them, and stop pressuring us. 

Otherwise, when we got to the destination, they would say WE owed them $20, insisting that we had called them and we had to pay (like I said, been there), get the cash, and then ring up the paratransit trip and get paid for it too.  It's sick. 

So, Ron said I was rude and embarrassed him, because I said "If you're not getting paid by Metrolift, pull over and let us out". 

Why was I so mean to the poor driver?  I said, Ron, the guy didn't even help me with the wheelchair.  He's a young man, covered in muscles, and didn't even help. 

"Well" he said "it's in our notes that you can fold up the wheelchair".  No, it isn't.  I read the computer screen.  It clearly said only the pickup information.  It also indicated there was a wheelchair but nothing about me putting it away. 

He called me a liar and a f-ing b-. 

I said "This conversation is over" and I walked off.  He started verbally abusing me (it's never far away and I don't forget that), so I turned up my music - he had to listen to Paradise City at a very high volume.  By the time it was over he had calmed down enough to stop shouting. 

So, Ron can be upset that I was a little sharp with the guy who refused to help put away his wheelchair, who then tried to hustle us out of $30 on top of billing Metrolift.  He can.  I don't feel bad about my tone of voice. 

Oh, yeah, and then when Ron had gone into the "Don't take the mark of the beast" speech, the guy laughed at us and told us Revelation wasn't meant to be taken literally, in a very rude tone.  "It's not literal.  Do.  You. Understand?"  I thought it was very insulting. 

I said "I see your viewpoint, but what if Ron is right?  If someone comes to put any kind of mark on your right hand or forehead, just say no.  If no one does, so what?   If it happens, when you say no it will keep you out of hell."   He accepted that. 

So, let's see, the guy insulted me twice, and forced me to put a wheelchair into the back of a minivan and take it out, all by myself.   And I was mean to him.

AGH.  Relying on other people for transportation can be a real pain. 

Ron went off into his room for a while, then came out a couple minutes later.  He asked if he could talk to me.  I said "As long as you don't curse me or call me names"  He wanted to resume the illegal conversation. 

I said, what is the point?  Really?  I don't want to talk about it.  We aren't going to solve any world problems by discussing this. 

That's when he started cussing me out again. 

I wonder if I should have a "No talking to you when you're drunk" policy, but then I would never talk to him.   Outside of work, that is. 

2 comments:

Mark charles your gay Christian fan from LCF said...

Wow I sure would have a problem with Ron over the driver there should be a " line" even when he is drunk! Calling tou those names is horrid!
But everyone knows, it if futile to offer advice about this, you are the healthcare provider it seems, of an abusive noncompliant self destructive patient!
Second, did you ask for help with the chair Heather? We have a lot of younger folks who are willing to help but have not been taught simple manners! He sounds like that! " please I could use help lifting this chair in and out"
I get a stunned " ok sure" when I someone who is stronger, more capable for help. Sometime they really do not know any better of in tis case could care less. Just stand back and ask or help it saves a lot of festering about something he could care less about. Good luck with Ron I stop by periodically to catch up and see how you are. 8 lbs dogoo good for you! "We" love seeing you care for Heather! More of same from Ron, who looks and sounds awful ( the videos are chronicalling his decline) obviously booze is catching up with him. I hope you have a back up plan just in case his sedentary behavior and consumption of rot gut booze causes a major event that puts him in the hospital or worse. Folks who follow your blog hope you are protected finically and mentally for his continuing decline

Jillian said...

I would personally have a policy where you don't get into major discussions with him when he's drunk, or arguments. Drunk people are impossible to reason with, and often go off on tangents and will get very stubborn. No point.