Home Alive

Today, I stood outside in cold, damp, windy weather.  It felt like the 30's.  I was not well dressed for the weather - I thought a layer of long underwear under sweats and a t-shirt would be plenty, turns out I was wrong. 

I have to wait outside because the drivers have a lot of trouble finding us, especially new ones.  The GPS directs them to the wrong driveway.  The building at the wrong driveway has the "proper" address, but it's 17 acres under one roof. 

The driver fails to realize they have TWO parking lots, and they're in the wrong one.  Ron and I board at the employee entrance parking lot, not the "123" address. 

We have put this in the notes: "Employee entrance.  Wife outside waving.  Call XXX-YYYY".  Instead, the driver sees a sign that says "Entrance" and enters that driveway.  Then Ron or I have to call and inform the driver to come to MY parking lot, while I stand outside waving like a demented sports fan. 

Most of the drivers get it, even the new ones.  They read the directions and come right to me.  I am out there waving, 15 minutes before the pickup time, every time. 

We have had some drivers go to the wrong parking lot, fail to find us, and cancel pickup.  Then Ron and I have to wait hours for a new ride because they failed to follow directions. 

So, I always go out and play "flagger".  If the driver is clearly not-getting-it I can call dispatch and give them directions.  Again. 

That means I deal with mosquitos, heat, humidity, rain, wierdos, and the cold.  Like today. 

As I stood at the "bus stop", waving madly at a man who clearly saw me, yet failed to grasp I was the "wife outside waving" in his pickup notes, on his computer AND the paperwork he fills out.... I thought to myself: 

"This is one of my biggest trials of faith." 

I get so ANGRY at them.  Some of them are playing games, I can tell because they give a very phony "I'm-sorry-was-that-YOU-waving?" with a smirk.  Some of them can't admit any fault and YELL AT ME because they couldn't figure out "employee entrance". 

One woman persisted in telling me I was in the wrong parking lot.  I told her to read the paperwork "It said entrance, and I went there".  "No," I told her, "Read it again.  It says employee entrance."  "I went there!" she screamed at me.  We were about to leave the parking lot.  "Please read the sign there"  I pointed.  "Employee entrance, right?"  She agreed.  "Now read the sign where you went, does it say employee entrance?"  She started to speak, read ENTRANCE and shut up, driving very angrily, speeding, all the way home. 

How is it MY fault YOU screwed up?   I'm just the wife outside waving! 

I just want to shout at them, how can you be so STUPID?  We even had the sign guy put up a METROLIFT sign at our driveway! 

It's scary, sometimes.  When I have a driver who can't grasp a simple concept, like two parking lots, I really worry about putting myself into their care for the ride home.  They could kill me, or worse, maim me for life.  They could kill Ron.  They could put either of us in a wheelchair!  If they don't have the chops to figure out simple directions, how can they navigate the traffic?  Is this the best driver Metro has to offer?  I get VERY scared. 

More than once, I have prayed frantically on the way home.  All the vehicles have various tattler/GPS gear embedded, so they will get caught if they are clearly driving recklessly.  I'm sure it alerts downtown.  It does for the big buses. 

So, there I am, dependent on unreliable people who scare me.  It's a huge test of my faith everytime I get one, because I am overwhelemed with the urge to treat them like they're STUPID. 

Then God reminds me, Heather, can you drive?  No, Lord.  Maybe you should stop judging them, and start loving them. 

So, as I stood there, outside, so cold my face had gone numb, I prayed and prayed to God as I waited for the driver to figure it out "Lord, please put Your thoughts in my head, Your love in my heart, Your words in my mouth.  I've got nothing good in me right now.  Please take away all the ugly and make me Your servant.  I can't do this without You, and I don't want to." 

Finally, Ron's call got through to dispatch and they contacted the driver, who FINALLY made it over to me. 

Best of all, we made it home alive.