A healthier way to deal

Recently, Ron bitterly complained that *I* got Tuesdays off, and he was supposed to get Wednesdays.  I had him explain. 

What I understand; he wants a day where we go out and do what he wants.  [shrug]  OK. 

So, yesterday I asked him what he thought he might like to do today.  He wanted to check out the new restaurant; that was it. 

Of course he made a trip to the liquor store, so it wouldn't "fall off his list" - he cancelled it.  Yikey.  I teasingly knocked at his liver and made hollow thumping noises.  He laughed.  I was quite serious under my grin. 

I think I had the wierdest experience of my life today.  I was reading the brochures from Al-Alon.  Things like "So you Love an Alcoholic".  He walked in the room and chatted with me, and I couldn't help but think "If you could see, you would have a meltdown".  I picked up another brochure later, and sure enough here comes Ron!  It's like a magnet for him on some level. 

Ron and I have a connection; a very deep one.  ON some level he knows things are changing. 

My God Time tells me God wants me here; but I need a healthier way to deal.  Yessir. 

Ron and I discussed our plans.  He wanted to sleep in, go eat, and then come home.  He would leave me at the restaurant so I could try to find the elusive knockoff blanket with sleeves.  I didn't, by the way. 

The dog next door went insane around 2:30 AM, and kept barking until 4.  I kept waking up, looking at Bubba-cat (black cat), and going back to sleep.  It wasn't Bubba. 

I found a hole in the middle of the yard, like a squirrel or raccoon maybe?  I don't know.  [blowing out a sigh]  If the dog didn't bark, and destroy the fence, and they picked up their trash, they'd be decent neighbors. 

Speaking of destroyed fence, she broke another board, I had to fix it from my side.  AGH.  I did a good job, though, using a scrap piece of lumber and a piece of metal. 

I remember I took a personality test when I was about 12.  I was utterly shocked to discover I was very left-brained, analytical and all.  I am an engineer's daughter. 

At the time, I was shocked.  I spoke to the teacher after class and told her the test was wrong.  She laughed and told me, "No, Heather, you are very good at analysis and evaluation.  You don't see it, but you are." 

I guess so.  When I was at the restaurant, I saw a Coke guy working on the post-mix soda machine.  I chatted with him, shop talk.  I asked if he ever serviced the Vendo bottle soda vendors.  He shuddered.  It's not just my repair guy; everyone is terrified of them. 

I have an understanding with mine.  I think, on some level, my machines have sentience.  On some level, there's a tiny spark of awareness.  Most people give me that "Go take your pills" look, so I don't often share my view.  Like people, they like to be appreciated and respected.  Treated with respect and courtesy. 

I can't see you, nyah, nyah.  [laughing]  I keep thinking of Ron walking in while I was reading those Al-anon brochures.  Oh, he would have flipped out.  Happily, he IS blind. 

I got up around 8, did my God Time, read the AA stuff I plan to read daily, "Just for Today" for instance, ate, took my pills, put on my grubbies, and went out into the garden.  I spread a bag of cow manure, dug up my new garden bed, moving it over, dealt with Dum-Dum's damage to the fence, filled the birdfeeder, planted my hollyhocks, planted the pineapple sage, put some new edging on the garden bed, etc. 

After all that was done, I came in and took a shower.  It was odd, showering at around 11 AM.  Lots of natural light.  I got dressed and waited for our ride.  We went to the restaurant, enjoyed the food, Ron came home.  I went to the linen shop. 

To digress slightly, if I drop anything like those chicken livers I passed last month during my period; I need some serious bed protection.  I got a fitted vinyl sheet for $5.  I layered it on the bed with all the other stuff. 

That way if I leak and bleed all over the sheets, I can take everything off, and still have a layer of protection on the bed.  It's not just me, either.  Bubba has vomited in bed on more than one occasion.  Usually he jumps down and yarks all over the floor, but sometimes he can't.  No biggie.  [shrug] 

He  NEVER vomited while I had the cats on the low carb, grain free cat food, but after Frosty died Bubba refused to eat it.  I guess I can see his point!  [snort]

I'm listening to Manafest right now - good artist.  Whenever I'm manic I always feel tremendously guilty, but God's let me know JOYFUL NOISE.  That's what He wants.  He knows I have earned the mania, battling through those depressionhells. 

I didn't see the blankets, so I went on.  I checked on our vending machine at the Christian bookstore, and investigated the alcoholic reading stuff.  I felt very thick and stupid.  My reading comprehension has taken a huge whack from the medications. 

I used to be so prideful about my reading comprehension.  I could read anything once, and get it.  [sigh]  Not these days. 

I finally went with a "Life Recovery Bible".  We'll see how that works out. 

I am a little worried my whole life is going to get wrapped up in all of this; and I don't think it should.