Turning it over to God

When Ron and I call Yellow Cab, and the cab is nearby, the driver pushes the "Callout" button. 
Our phone rings.  "This is the Yellow Cab computer, your cab is outside" 

Right now, the dog is outside.  Again.  Like I've said, it's an old fence and it's not hard for an active young dog to knock off a board and worm through. 

I finally prayed about it and decided to turn it over to God.  I can allow myself to get upset about this; getting angrier, or I can calmly accept the fact that the God who made the Universe can take care of the dog problem. 

It IS very annoying.  We called the dog catcher.  The dog was in our yard all night.  Knocked another board loose.  But guess what?  When the pound came by the dog stayed in her yard.  She keeps camping out on the porch and refusing to leave.  I chase her off, she comes back.  It's embarrassing.  I don't want people to think it's my dog - it's not. 

If I wanted a dog, I'd have one.  I don't want a dog.  She is certainly devoted but not what I want. 

I know most of it is not really directed at the dog; but concerns about other things in my life I'm just "pointing" at her.  It's easier, and safer, to be angrier at the dog, than to worry about lousy sales, the malfunctioning coffee machine, Ron's drinking, etc. 

I have to turn it over to God, again.  Even when my repeated requests for the people next door to SECURE THEIR DOG are given the finger, when Ron and I have to resort to demanding the homeowner repair the broken fence, the dog is on the porch AGAIN and all I want to do is start screaming and never, ever, stop - I've got to turn it over to Him. 

I think in a lot of ways it is "easier" for me to turn over something like a major health crisis in a loved one, than it is to turn over things like worries about our sales and the ongoing dog annoyances.  My life is very good in so many ways.  My medication is so affordable now.  God is using me. 

Even Ron and I are talking more.  He's commented that our communication has improved dramatically - and I give God the credit.  I was just smart enough to ask Him to help us to understand each other better and to have better communication.  I feel a little foolish I didn't do this years ago. 

And I'm sure, eventually, I will feel a little foolish as I see how everything worked out.  God has all of this under control, and He is allowing it to make me a stronger person. 

It's easier, I think, for me to be strong during a major crisis: a major health problem, a depression, or a nasty mixed episode.  Even the psychotic stuff is pretty easy to turn over to God - it's so OVERWHELMING I have no choice; I know immediately, like answering a phone, "God, it's for You!" 

Something like finances, and who doesn't have a financial concern?  I just thank God we don't have a car.  Even more expenses!  Yes, the bus broke down one day but I only spent an hour waiting; not money. 

Anyway, I feel like a financial issue; that's something I should be strong and carry on my own.  I shouldn't have to take it to God, because I already know He has it.  Does that make sense? 

I am ashamed I am worried about money.  God has always taken care of me, and I feel so ungrateful telling him "I'm scared".  The God who made me already knows how I feel, and typing it out - it doesn't sound very logical at all, does it? 

I need to go, Ron's awake and we need to make another fence repair.