Get up and fight, damnit!

Heidi, it's Wednesday. But I got a dozen icecreams, it'll take a few days to hand them out.

I just get so angry at Ron; I don't show it to him. You get to see my secret anger. Yes, he has suffered loss. Yes, he has a right to grieve. But get up and FIGHT, damnit! Don't just lie there moaning, get up and fight.

I feel Ron is so wrapped up in demonic lies and delusions; and he doesn't even really believe in the Devil! When he says anything about the Devil, it is generally a comment of "I can see why he rebelled" and "I feel sorry for him". WHAT? Then he goes off crying "Why me?"

Get this: he has a right to grieve. He has a right to be sad. I had a terrible depression when I realized that Ron and I would NEVER go on our miles-long walks again. But he's gone into this victim mentality and it's very aggravating. You have to MOVE ON. It's been almost 8 years.

Me, I'm a fighter. You hit me? I'm going to hit right back. Remember when I got mugged? I beat the crap out of the little thug. I am constantly fighting the devil with prayer, testimony (and it says in Revelation that we overcome the devil BY OUR TESTIMONY and the Blood of Jesus), and every Bible I hand out. You're gonna hit me? I'm gonna hit back.

It was bad enough throwing the depression at me, but making Ron even more depressed, making him get absolutely stupid every single night, making him verbally abuse me - right before my BIRTHDAY? You had better believe I am going to fight the Devil. I have cried, I cry, and I'll cry in the future. But I won't cry alone. The Devil is a lot more powerful than me, and I can only fight him when I'm under God's protection... but you can bet I am going to be that annoying gnat buzzing in his face. Besides, even if he did "swat" me I'd go to Jesus. Ha, ha!

I've decided I'm doing another Big Bible Handout soon - I ask God to make it clear and He always does. I just have an overwhelming urge to stand out on that corner and yell FREE BIBLES. Well, the sign does the yelling. [laugh] So do the people who want the Bibles. Pretty awesome.