Whining, and lots of it.

Ugh. I feel LOUSY.

The worst part, I know who made me sick. Isn't it so much easier when they're anonymous? Then you can just be mildly resentful at WHOEVER made you sick. It is awful when you have a name and a face, and the fact that he tried to sell me some pyramid thing. I can't say more than that, he could lose his job. But it was HIM.

It wasn't until we parted, that he started coughing and said "Boy, I feel really terrible." !!!!!!! Why didn't you stay home????

I was fine on Tuesday morning. Ran a lot of errands; got sick after I came home. "Digestive". Wednesday I was really fatigued and just went to the thrift store.

Not much of an appetite, or a thirst, for about a week. Unusual for me. Thursday Ron wanted to take wine to his old teacher, who had three glasses while we were there. I was a little disturbed. Friday, sore throat. HAD to go to work; not happy about it. I have done my best to take it easy today.

Headaches pretty much every day, too. Ugh. I feel very depleted. Happily, I am not really running a fever. I did decide, when I was briefly earlier, that a fever is EXACTLY like my Wellbutrin hot flashes. Almost exactly identical.

Happily, the mood is OK. Ron has been in an angry, self-pitying mood. For a guy who "supports" my faith, he has a lot of very disparaging things to say. I remind myself of Brother Yun's comment "In the West, it is the attacks of other Christians" and also his comments on how the Devil likes to attack us through our families.

Ron thinks that his physical issues are a burden to me. Generally, they aren't. It's the self-pity parties, the constant bitterness, and anger at God, that make me feel burdened. Of course I can't say anything, I'm attacking him.

I have figured out, that if he's angry at me, the easiest thing to do is just to be quiet and let him rant at me. Then he will go away. If I say anything, he goes into war mode. It's really sad that I would know this. Saying how angry he is that God sent me to him, in a not-nice tone when he says "Heather"... that's very painful.

Then at some odd, random moment he takes the time to actually say a nice thing that I would like to hear. And I just gape at him and wonder where the Mr Hatey went.

I guess I'm just sad. It would be nice to have a husband who made caring comments and wanted to do something nice for me, instead of taking the "Opportunity" to shout at God because I'm sick.