If it kills me

It's so sad to watch Ron drunk. My only consolation; Jesus hurts even more than I do; He loves Ron more than I could dream.

I wouldn't die for him, especially if he were drunk and name-calling. But Jesus did.

I did have a pretty decent time cleaning up the side yard. I had let some saplings and sticker bushes grow up because the former kids next door kept breaking holes in the fence, crawling through after balls, and climbing over the gate.

The kids next door, girls, don't look to be jocks.

I got it all done in about an hour. I boarded up the holes in the fence, trimmed the trees, and mowed all the sticker bushes. Ron "asked" me to do it; I finally said "I will do it because you asked me to, not because you are calling me names. All you had to do was ask." I went out and did it while he headed over for another glass of wine.

The area outside my computer room window is nice and tidy now. I plan to plant something pretty there - what, I have no idea. I don't want any tropicals. I hate scrambling around and covering things everytime a freeze is forecast. I want something tenacious. Thyme, rosemary, roses, they all do well. Something colorful and shade loving, easy to maintain. I have plenty of root zone competition from the red tips. The red tips saved my living room after the hurricane, the gutter came flying off next door and would have hit my living room windows, but for the red tips! The red tips caught it like a baseman and saved my home. I am very fond of them as a result.

Ha, I could even plant MORE red-tips. Maybe something in the bush department, something fragrant.

Anyway, I did the yardwork and had a pretty good time. The neighbor dog has a great hatred of lawnmowers, which made it easy to locate doggy "hotspots". If she started pushing through, I immediately blocked it off. She doesn't even get that upset over the cat. [shrug] All done.

I already said I'm a little embarrassed, between Ron staggering over there drunk 4 times last week, telling them how to care for their dog (wince), and our audible argument over fence repair, I am sure they are regretting us.

[big sigh] I was late taking my pills today, but I think my current depression is completely understandable. My husband is disabled, and he drinks. When he drinks he can get hateful. Happily, he has left me alone.

I took my sugarfree butter pecan icecream outside and ate it, while the cat loafed at my feet, sitting in the yard. It was actually nice, mild, and overcast. I can really feel winter coming today.

I've always loved fall, and my birthday. I got Birthday Cake ice cream to hand out to my drivers - I think that'll be fun. Today's driver sure liked it. I have to realize, I can't talk to Ron about my birthday, can't plan anything. Tomorrow, take him to the dentist.

I have fun planned: my Knitpicks order (a 5-foot circular needle for lace and 2 balls of yarn) is coming. So are my kiddie New Testaments. Right now, I'm listening to my favorite tunes. I will have a fun week if it kills me.