Ok you have all heard about the in laws. I won't revisit our history.
My understanding Alzheimer's is very genetic and if you have the gene you WILL get it (they recently found that in a study).
I've had time to think about the fact Ron had Alzheimer's and have concluded (he was definitively diagnosed on autopsy) it was likely genetic as both his parents had it.
My dilemma: do I try to contact his surviving family and warn them? MIL, FIL had it, your brother/uncle had it, you probably will too, have a nice day.
On the one hand I would never do genetic testing on myself. I plan to live like I am dying. I think that would be a terrible burden to put on someone.
Example: my birth mother and her mother both had breast cancer. I don't want to find out if I have the BRCA gene or not.
And, for BIL and SIL it is probably too late anyway as they are in their 70's and likely symptomatic. But Ron's nephews (3 of them) and great-nephews (4 of them) and one great-great-nephew, might need to know so they can get some long term care insurance. If my whole family was ridden with such an awful genetic disease it might be good to know. For instance, I would remain single.
If I ever meet someone and it gets serious I will get tested just so he knows what he is signing up for. Not everyone is a Heather and will stick around.
Ron's family is the sort that sticks you in some hellhole Medicaid facility when things get rough. Maybe it's better not to know.
I am on the fence on this I could go either way.
Opinions?
12 comments:
Personally, the way that they've treated you, I don't think I would, I think you'd be opening up a can of worms. But if you pray about it and think that's something God wants you to do, I would send them a letter or contact them through Facebook or something. I would not call them
Alzheimer's is not determined by genes. And there is nothing a person can do to stop or prevent ALZ. I still believe Ron's ALZ was caused by his TBI from the car hitting him and his drinking.
Well, theoretically speaking, there are now meds that can keep it from getting worse. I follow information/research on Alz now just out of curiosity.
There is an ALZ gene they have found it, and a recent study that came out showed that 100% who had the gene developed the disease. That's powerful.
At least with the BRCA gene (which I may or may not carry as my birth mother and her mother both had breast cancer) it's not 100% risk of developing breast/ovarian it is just significantly higher (last I heard).
I have a dermoid cyst on my left ovary. My gyn surgeon was supposed to remove it in 2001 and I told him "If you can't get it take the whole ovary" but, no, I went to a FERTILITY SPECIALIST who had a whole wall of baby pictures in his waiting room, no way was he going to do that - so when he didn't find it during the operation he just closed me up and sent me home. That has a 2% chance of turning malignant one day - nothing to worry about really but if I have BRCA I am going to worry a lot more.
I was only in contact with Ron's nephew Brian he is the one who played the head games about the baby pictures after Ron's death, so I did everything I could on Facebook to end any contact I might ever have with him. I know the boys' (my age) names but I don't know how to find them. My brother in law is still on the deed for a house he bought in the 80's I suppose I could send him a letter. If he still has his wits, that is. (thoughtful)
I would leave it alone. Would you want to hear that kind of news?
It's bad enough for me worrying about my heart risk.
What does God say about worry. I know, you know. :)
I would like to push back on the idea that knowing your health risk is unnecessary. I found out at age 45 that I have BRCA2. And while it is an ongoing source of anxiety, I get 2 scans a year (mammogram and breast MRI) until I have a mastectomy, so they can catch things early. It allows me to be more proactive. Information is power. Not saying you need to run out and get tested, but why write it off completely?
Why do you dwell on all negative thoughts and fear so many things? No wonder you're always depressed. Have you ever been happy do you even know what that feels like?
Alzheimer's is a terrible disease. I have knowledge they may not.
Although their case is different from mine - I stuck around to the end. My SIL told Ron's brother she would stick him in a facility. The siblings put Ron's mother in a facility.
My FIL stayed as long as he could. But I don't think any of them take after him
At age 69, one year ago I got tested for Prostate Cancer. I came back with a Gleason 3+3=6 a very borderline: is it cancer or not? Nobody agrees. I am to be retested (another biopsy) in a month. It is psychologically devastating for me because whatever treatment option appears to be as damaging as the disease itself which I could perhaps survive 15 years with the disease or have 5 years of painful surgery losing functionality and suffering infections and pain. To be honest, I would really rather not have been dragged into knowing this. If these relatives of Ron are curious then tell them, otherwise, they may not really want to know.
My Dad had prostate cancer about 5-7 years ago. He wanted them to take it out but they wouldn't operate. Said he was a bad candidate with his age, heart trouble, and diabetes. He did radiation and is considered cured now.
I can't share more without violating trust I feel.
What I come back to these men - Ron's nephews. It's not them I want to warn so much as the women in their lives. .
I would raise a hypothetical with the wives to discuss with their husbands. If I could turn back the clock on my biopsy, I would.
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