Sunday Morning

 I hate crying.  Gives me a headache.  I feel like I spent all my teens and most of my 20's sobbing and want to put that behind me.  Yes, that is not a healthy attitude.  I still have it.  

Last night sucked.  Ron kept bothering me after I went to bed and I blew up at him telling him I NEED MY SLEEP you don't understand how important this is.  I also told him I wouldn't be able to take care of him if I couldn't sleep (most nights).  I can love him to the moon but my body requires sleep.  Bad things happen physically and mentally if I do not get my sleep.  

I just stated facts. Anyway it penetrated and I slept OK the rest of the night.  I woke up and got Ron's medication out of the organizer which I keep on the kitchen table.  Ron likes a bite of Nutrigrain mixed berry with his dose.  As I was feeding him, the blood pressure pill slipped out of my hand and landed on the floor.  

Normally I don't wear my glasses for pill time, I only put them on when I'm up.  But I had to get them and hunt around on the floor for the damned thing. Found it and gave it to him.  Back to bed.  

Wake up 8:30 DEPRESSED.  EXHAUSTED.  I was listening to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-2VXgERjBU and I started sobbing.  Not pretty at all, but quiet because it would just freak Ron out. I cried during the entire song, got a headache, maybe it will help me emotionally long run.  I don't know.  

One thing I remember about my aunt after the accident: she was very concerned I hadn't been crying.  Ron's family were wolf-sharks looking for the slightest hint of weakness. But I did cry a little one day in the ICU talking to Ron, this one was playing:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W2JCi1D5Cw.  My aunt was so relieved, I heard her on the phone talking to someone "Heather cried".  

I just don't cry that often even before my diagnosis, during the suicidal depressions.  

I learned an interesting hack today.  Baby Girl always begs for treats every time I go in Ron's room.  I told her to eat some cat food.  She didn't.  So I got a handful of cat food, made her sit up like it was treats, and gave it to her.  And she ate it up. Good.  I can just give her the cat food that way.  I want her healthy even aside from the fact Ron is devoted to her.  

I did my God Time that went OK. I cleaned up the couch some the cat hair gets really bad.  It looks better, not perfect but better.  So that helps.  

Just an AWFUL depression.  And I'm going to whine for a minute.  Bipolar is bad enough.  Then add in caregiving which brings even the sanest to their knees at times.  It is a big load!  

How do I carry it?  Primarily my faith.  Figuring out what makes God happy and doing that.  Prioritizing.  So I didn't clean the toilet this week, I did get a couple good days of sleep.  Carving out time for me.  Practicing my faith.  

If I didn't believe, strongly, in God I would have walked a very long time ago.  But God made it clear to me He wanted me with Ron. 

And this "life" is nothing in comparison to eternity.  So I will focus on that.  

Not that my life is hell every minute I just wonder why God wants me to rely on Him THAT much.  Why I had to have "this" life vs the everyday life I see in others.  But then He wanted me doing evangelism so that is likely connected.  

Dad mentioned the parable of the sower.  Basically an evangelist goes out and plants "seeds" (of the gospel). Some of them grow, some of them don't, but the ones that grow can make many more seeds.  And I have always seen that in my own life I have planted a lot of seeds.   Maybe some of them grew, I will be happy if ONE of them grew.  But I went out and did the work.  

However God seems to send people (having read a few Christian biographies) to the School Of Pain before he sends them to do the work.  

That's it for now. Hopefully I can get a nap.  

 

Well, that was unexpected. Take 2.

 Ron kept waking me up last night.  I am pretty sleep deprived as a result.  

I did my faith walk and helped Ron.  He wanted spaghetti and meatballs.  Talk about a mess. But he enjoyed it so I don't mind.  I used a towel to clean up, it looks like someone got murdered.  

So I got on Facebook.  Some people from work have sent me friend requests which I took.  I believe it is 6-7 total. I am scrolling a political post by one of them when I see a name.  I do a double take.  Yes, it is the man who ran over Ron.  His profile pic shows him squatting, grinning smugly, one arm around a grandkid.  Another profile pic shows him riding a motorcycle.  

[sigh]  So I got up and went and took a look at Ron in his bed.  A very big difference.  That's all I'll say.  I'll also remind you Ron fell out of bed and required 2 people to get him back even though he is not heavy.  How he requires my assistance with virtually everything but eating and drinking.  For instance: he needed my help to reposition in bed just now.  

I went back and looked at Roy on his motorcycle and then clicked out of the window.  I am debating deleting the guy who was his friend.  But then I would probably have to delete everyone from work.   Is it worth it?  

It was just a shock I guess I can handle that now that I know to expect it.  But ugh.  

It is hard to feel like he looked down at Ron on the ground and walked away whistling.  I know for a fact he did not drive for a while after the accident, likely insurance rates were too high for running over a blind man at a red light.  That's a minor inconvenience.  He doesn't have to live with the reality of the wheelchair and all that entails. 

But I am going to move on, the way I ALWAYS do, because that pleases God.  I did note in all his photos he was wearing a big cross so I guess he got saved out of it "Heather won't forgive me (I did) but God will".  I am just glad the union told him to leave us alone it was very upsetting him always coming up and demanding we tell him Ron was "OK" when he CLEARLY wasn't.  

"Is this all from the accident?  I am SO sorry if I could go back I would" that I would like to hear.  

[scoffs lightly] And I was already battling some depression today.  That name just throws water in my computer, as Ron would say.  

I did find some good news.  My Wandering Jew out front look like they melted, they took the cold snap pretty hard.  But they are resprouting so that's good.  There was a mulch of leaves in the bed which I believed help preserved the stolons and roots.  Good.  The soil looked good too, I poked around a little bit.  

I love gardening but it isn't very practical right now.   

So today has been pretty quiet.  Ron had the spaghettios I had a peanut butter (soy nut) and honey sandwich.  I need some more bread on Monday.  

Monday is going to be a busy day so I am trying to relax.  

That's it for now.  

Friday

 I went to bed early.  TOO MUCH CAFFEINE.  I finally dropped off.  

A little back story when I took Ron to the doctor I gave him a bed bath as is customary.  Normally he lays down in bed so I can get the deodorant.  He didn't want to do that so I was stuck holding up one of his arms at a time (he has trouble with arm strength as well as legs).  I could tell I wasn't doing a great job with the deodorant but he WOULDN'T lie down and we were in a hurry.  

He sleeps with his arms over his head, he has for a long time.  Anyway last night he woke me up the pits were stinking and he wanted a bath, and fresh deodorant.  After I had gone to bed.  But I wouldn't want to sleep if I were reeking - not to mention it would get on the blanket as well.  So I got up.  

I have a small one gallon bucket I use for bed baths.  I got that and put a hefty squirt of "No Rinse Body Bath" into it (from Amazon).  I ran some warm water and filled the bucket about a third of the way.  I got some washcloths.  

I stripped off his shirt, put it in the hamper, cleaned his armpits, dried them with a fresh towel, applied deodorant (the Mitchum works very well for him applied correctly).  A fresh t-shirt and good to go.  

I went back to bed.  I slept OK after that but 5AM (pill time) came sooner than I would have liked.  Ron took his pills and I went back to bed until 8.  

I managed to get both the Bible study and the prayer time so I was really happy about that.  I sat out in the yard - it was nice, in the 70's, and did my prayer time in the sun.  It was very nice.  I had some laundry working while I did that, I put it in the dryer and then took a nap.  

I had a pretty good nap.  I was lying in bed awake wondering if I wanted to go back to sleep when Ron asked me a question, so I got up.   

I need to give him his medication pretty soon - no reaction to the Finasteride (negative, I mean, it works gradually) so that's good.  That Flowmax though is not cheap.  

Oh well my antipsychotic topped out, some years back, at $240 a month.  I just hallucinated!  And that was in much better times.  But total sum our medication only runs about $100 a month for everything, and that we can manage.  

After I do his stuff I will do mine up for 3 weeks. I was doing mine 2 weeks at a time but Ron graduated to the big boy container of 4 compartments a day instead of the 2 I use.  So I had an extra, put it to use.  I am happy to do up my pills but would rather do it every 3 weeks.  

Ron really likes taking his medication with a "food bar" (Nutrigrain) so I have plenty of those. I won't tell him the bar has vitamins in it, they are very well hidden.  

And when this load of laundry is done I will be pretty much caught up.  I used the washing soda, etc. mixture to wash the t-shirts this morning so I didn't put my underwear in there.  The substances can deposit and cause irritation.  

And I have to go give Ron his pills.  Done.  He always wants to know what they are so I tell him.  

That's it for now.  

Thursday

 I slept better last night.  

I did have some concern whether the $235 worth of prescriptions (which took my inventory money for the week!) were a one month or three month refill.   I found out later it was 3 months, we can manage that.  He did not put in any refills so we will have to call on that.  

So I got ready, got Ron ready (he stayed home as is customary) and went to the store.  I talked to Jack about billing his sister in law for the pipe repairs.  I told him the last company I hired wanted $600 a leak.  He liked that!   He was going to charge a lot less!  

He dropped me off, I said I'd be quick (he waited).  I had an abbreviated list.  

Ron requested grapes before I left the house, which is very unusual for him, but I am THRILLED to have him eating fruits and vegetables.  I found some nice black grapes from Peru that were pretty good.  I did not sample in the store but they looked, and were, good.  

I got myself some lemons I love to put lemon in my drinks.  

I got the pills, they wanted to talk to me "Give at night".  I explained he had taken the Flomax before but the other one was new.  

I then put my pills in my backpack. I always bring a backpack when I buy prescriptions.  Why?  Think of it, a drug addict sees a bag of pills in my cart, they're going to steal it and I am just SOL.  But it is much harder to get out of my backpack.  

I got a few other things on the list including drain cleaner.  My drains are fine and I want to keep them that way.  I am going to go run that now.  OK down the drain.  The rubber gloves I got are such a cute teal color (just the basic gloves) I am going to keep them.  Normally I throw them out after using them.  

So I got my things and then checked out, called Jack.  We stopped at the dry cleaner on the way because he had some stuff to pick up.  He is the type of guy likes to be crisp and pressed not sloppy at all even if he is in an oversized tshirt and baggy pants.  I don't care what he wears but he said the drycleaning was $40.  OUCH.  And that was for only one load.  Then we went home.  

I could get all my stuff in one load, I didn't have anything too heavy.  I gave Ron some grapes and he really enjoyed those.  Good to see him enjoying his food and eating a better variety.  I put them away along with the ground beef, take 2.  

This time I got the 73% because he could use a little fat in his diet, his legs are kind of dry.  It is good for a couple weeks (I got the chub).  I may cook it tomorrow (sloppy joes).  

I also got some more of the smoked herring I like.  That is always a good snack and good essential fatty acids.  

I took a nap and had a pretty good one but did have a headache.  Not a bad one, but I had to take some aspirin.  Ron needed Advil.  I have plenty of that.  He ate the last of the chicken wings (I got $6 worth and it lasted him 3 days).  I need to freeze the chili in the fridge because today's it's last day.  

The cats are good, Spotty and Biscuit have been super cuddly in particular.  For whatever reason the girls lean toward Ron and the boys favor me.  I don't need to do any laundry which is good.  

Tomorrow I will do some house cleaning I think, I need to sweep and mop.  Dishes aren't bad.  

My aunt finally got a new (reconditioned) phone she is enjoying that.  I hate the camera on my phone but it works for me so I'm not inclined to replace something that is working.  Also: where would I get the money?  Everything went to Ron this week.  I had enough left for minimal groceries but that was it.  

But I have ENOUGH all the bills are paid and I have cat food 😂 so I'm happy.  

That's it for now.  

Different than I thought

 So last night I gave Ron lots of attention got him ready for bed.  An hour later he announces he might need to use the toilet.  I go to sleep again.  Yes, he needs to use it.  So I help him with that and clean him up, etc.  It was a mushy poop with all that entailed. 😖  I finally got him cleaned up.  An hour later it is something else and I'm lying there thinking WHY.  I just wanted 8 hours of sleep so I would be fresh in the morning.  That did NOT happen I got about 6 hours of sleep and that was oversleeping an hour.  

I was very worried about getting him in the wheelchair.  I was confident I could get him bathed and dressed, not so confident about getting him in the actual wheelchair.  The last time we did it I had him slide up the bed and then swing around, it was really awful and he almost fell.  And he has basically just laid in bed for 3 months since that.  So a pretty big concern level.  

This time I took all his "bedside" crap out of the way and put the wheelchair right up next to the bed.  Not ashamed to say I prayed about it.  And he made it easily.  Our driver was late.  

The cats hung out with us while we waited.  The driver finally showed and was enthralled watching the cats.  But he has a pit bull and all the ones I have known eat cats.  He wanted to take his own road and not follow the GPS, one of those, also wasn't wearing his mask properly.  We finally got there barely before the appointment time.  

We had to wait forever because the practice was backed up.  We got there before 10 and they didn't see us until well after 11.  Then they got excited because Ron's blood was showing low oxygen on the pulse ox he almost won a trip to the ER.  They finally decided he was cold.  Also chest/lungs sounded good.  [some research indicates anemia can cause low blood oxygen which is probably absolutely the case here].   Then back to waiting.  Blood pressure was 100/70.  

Ron became progressively more irritable and I could tell he was in a lot of pain even with the Advil.  Doc came and we addressed his 2 big issues: more Norvasc, and something better for his prostate.  He said he had something much better and was putting them into the computer when we left; Walmart has gotten back to me and everything is in stock.  It's not a bad deal if they are all 3 months which I hope.  

We had a pretty short wait for our driver but she was on the phone, a personal call, so she pulled way off to a far corner of the parking lot and finished that before she got us.  They are not allowed to use their phone if they have a client on board.  She did take her time fastening him properly and I am always pleased to see that.  

We had a straight ride home. I was a little worried about getting Ron into bed but he made it. I took a nap I was tired, Cleo joined me. 

I slept pretty well for a while.  Ron is snoring away.  I will get his medication tomorrow morning. I have a moderate headache but I will kill it with some aspirin.  

I am wiped out.  

Tuesday

 Very frustrating, the bank I wanted to use is still closed so I had to go $15 out of my way.  Jack was happy, though.  

I did my banking and then went to the Walmart.  I didn't spend much because we have to get Ron's medication.  

Ron didn't feel well today tired and nauseous.  He did not tell me this before he asked for Advil, which of course made it worse.  I gave him some Pepto (capsules) which seemed to have helped but I will have to remind myself his stool will be black as a result.  

It was a very nice day, sunny, warm, almost 80.  I ended up wearing shorts.  I made the trips for tomorrow to take Ron to the doctor.  Hopefully it won't be too hard to get him ready.  

I had planned to give him his bath today but he wasn't up to it. I will get him tomorrow morning and he will be fresher for the doctor.  My spacebar is really acting up today.  

I spent some time outside fresh air and all that.   I got a nap as well.  

He finally let me wash his blanket, it was a little gamey.  It is in the dryer now, I will finish it so he has it before I go to bed.  

The cats are good.  I saw the stray cat we had made a shelter for.  He looked good but a little thin.  I suspect he burned up some reserves trying to stay warm last week.  

That's it for now.  

Monday afternoon

 I went outside and had some fresh air and sunshine, called my sister.  She has a knack for telling certain stories that cracks me up.  

It was nice, fresh air, sunshine lovely weather.  

In the middle of it a young man walked halfway past the house, looked at me, and asked for a bottle of water.   I told him to wait and went in the house.  I got him a nice COLD bottle and also a bag of candy with a scripture booklet, because God sent him my way for a reason.  

When I can I like to hand out a bag of candy with a scripture booklet to anyone who will take it, and I still have a decent amount left.  Still doing that.  

Ron was a little aghast I did it.  After all, the kid was black.  But so's Ron, and Jack.  Not all black guys are thugs.  And God made him.  He was thrilled to get the candy so I was glad I did it.  What he does with the booklet?  Up to him, and God.  You never know.  

I like to think I will have at least a few unexpected friends in Heaven I gave a booklet to, didn't seem "likely" but got saved out of it anyway.  Only God can judge, it is not my job. My job is to make the gospel AVAILABLE to everyone I can.  They can make their own decisions.  

Where do I get the booklets?  Here  You just ask and they send them pretty quick.  I have gotten cases of 500 at a time down to just a few different booklets for my parents to use in their Bible study.  They would love a donation but don't make it a big issue.  

I have handed out a LOT of booklets. Not as many as I would have liked, though.  But as a famous evangelist once said it doesn't matter how many you distribute, did they go to the right person in a state of readiness for God?  If it does you have done well no matter how many that is.  

But the booklets ARE super easy to do especially in a bag of candy (my preferred medium).  

Now I need to figure out dinner, not sure what that will be to be honest.  Ron isn't hungry but I need to eat and take my medication.  I also think I have some home care stuff to do.  

That's it for now. 

Monday morning

 Let's hear it for another good night of sleep.  

I took today off because the store stocks tonight.  Why go to an empty store?  

It will also give people time to do their banking business today.  I imagine they are looking at a lot of withdrawals.  

I have been very disappointed in Cruz, I am not sure if I discussed him here.  Short version: storm hits, no power, etc. he and his family leave the country to go loaf on a beach in Mexico.  His ticket had him gone for a week, but there was such an uproar at his exit he came back the next day.  Now he is trying to say he had only planned to be gone for one day but the ticket said a week.  I believe he planned to come back after a week.  

So he is in damage control mode.  There are a couple of schools of thought.  Mine: how could he ditch his people when they needed him?  True he works on the federal level but he could have handed out care packages or something, let people know "I'm in it with you".  He could have also stayed at a local hotel, as MANY did, had amenities, and been accessible.  

Second school of thought which I have seen online from those not in the disaster area: Way to go buddy!  I wish I was on a beach right now!  

Third school of thought, from those not in Texas: Well, it wasn't that big a deal there is nothing he could have done anyway. 

Fourth: Well that democrat 60 years ago did something worse.  HUH?! 

But AOC, not even a Texas legislator, flew down from NY to help out.  She gets it; in a disaster, we went to see our elected officials on the front line.  Now I think the green new deal is a horrible idea, and I am a conservative, so I don't agree with her politics but I applaud her actions as a human being.  

We are meant to help each other out in hard times.  

I also scheduled Ron's doctor appointment we had planned to do it last week but disaster and all... 

At least the new doctor has a name we can pronounce.  I will start getting Ron ready tomorrow after I come home from my errands.  

And I remembered to call the water company.  They did everything right this time; they had backup generators tested and ready to go.  They had people on site to manage things.  They kept the water pressure at acceptable levels.  They kept the water potable.  So I called in a compliment and they were thrilled.  It was apparent they had all been working very hard to make things better for me, the homeowner.  I value that.  

Dale Carnagie's book was pivotal in my life and one thing he said again and again make sure people know you appreciate them.  They are probably feeling very stressed right now everyone has a broken pipe etc. blaming the district for private property problems.  

One interesting thing in all this, everyone is calling them "Busted" pipes, not burst or leaking or any other term.  "Busted". Interesting.  Seems a little slangy.  I think I always just referred to my drama as "broken" or "leaking" pipes.  

Even the water district used that term.  

So that's done, called them, made Ron's appointment.  

Tomorrow the plan is go to the bank, go to Walmart, go home.  Clean Ron up get him into fresh clothes.  Clearly I couldn't do a sponge bath when the house was 48 degrees!  So I need to do that.  Although I do have to say the Mitchum deodorant lasts very well.  So bathe him, trim his nails, and get him into a fresh shirt.  Then Wednesday put some pants and shoes on him, get him into wheelchair.  Take to Dr.  I bet they are busy this week.  

Ron has been going to this practice about 20 years.  So they have all his information.  That is good as he clearly has a very long medical history.  

I also need to get some bedrails for his bed or talk to the doctor about getting a hospital bed for him.   I am leaning towards the latter although he says he is very happy in this bed.  I guess I will just ask the doctor if it is better to get the rails or a hospital bed.   Medicare will pay for most of it.  

I want to do right by him. Whenever I talk to my Dad he always says I am doing everything right, so does Ron (unless I am trying to give him a bath, then I am "Nurse Ratchet" and "Monk the clean freak").  It is hard to know; I know I have deficiencies due to my FAS so I just want to keep him healthy and happy.  

Happily I did find the foot rests for his wheelchair so I will have those.  He hasn't been in his wheelchair much so he will need something to help hold his feet up. I also need to check the weather and figure out how I'm going to dress him.  He tends to run cold so I am thinking sweatpants and fleece jacket (I got it for him on Prime day).  

We will see.  It is going to be a busy week.  

That's it for now. 

I have been sleeping great!

 I didn't realize how badly I had been sleeping until this weekend.   I feel nicely charged now (not manic).  

Apparently the media is focusing on Houston as a disaster zone.  Parts of it are but the whole city is not like that.  Although one of my FB friends did say I'm one of the few she has heard of without broken pipes.  

I think this is it: my plumber's from Chicago so he did my pipes (and insulation) to those standards, which saved me.  Of course God led him to do it.  But I'm glad I went with him and not the "budget repipe" people I see on TV now and then.  He cost $7K but how much would I have paid if I had pipe breaks?  One woman I heard had EIGHT breaks.  That much damage you might as well re do the whole house.  

And I keep wondering if insurance will pay for this if someone did not drain their pipes.  If I were an insurance company I would not pay.  Good thing it's not me!  

Of course I had a Dad who could pay for this.  I thank God for that and it is a good thing I did patch things up with him well before this all happened.  

But I will not ask for money again.  To be technical I told him about the problem and he offered. I accepted.  

God is working on my pride.  I DID NOT want to take it but I had no choice if I wanted to continue living in the house.

I feel I can always use work on pride, humility, gossip.  

So my parents got their second COVID vaccine it hit her pretty hard but she is OK now.  

I am doing laundry now and will take a shower when I get a break.  

Ron's nephew wants to talk but Ron is reluctant, I think because his family was so awful to him in the past.  The last time he talked to his sister, she very derisively asked what was "wrong with you, talking funny".  He is very sensitive about his "accent" since he had the stroke.  It is not bad but it is noticeable.  She was very cruel about it.  

Then he kept calling them to try to patch things up they wouldn't even pick up...So he is scared to reach out.  If I push Ron it will backfire so I just gave him the number.  I will explain this to Brian (nephew) if Ron doesn't call today.  They have a lot in common the family basically abandoned both of them. 

(Later, they did talk but not for long) 

But Ron has to work up his nerve.  

It is a nice, warm, sunny day.  Could see the ice cream man again.  😂  I still need to take a shower and do my God Time but I will get it.  

Done.  

Now in some regards I was very pleased with my faith walk last week.  I have read it is really important to praise God in advance of the victory, to thank him BEFORE you have the fix or the answer.  I did manage to do that but not as much as I'd have liked.  

I also managed to keep my Bible Study and prayer time a priority even if I had to do it by a lamp.  So happy about that.  Not very happy I have shown a tendency to slack off once things are better.  So I want to work on that.  

Hanging out with God doesn't get me any favors but it does give me a better view, and if I can help people out through prayer I am going to do it.  

I put almost everything back where it was, my emergency blankets, etc.  Ron wants to keep his space heater so we will for now.  I washed all my bedding - I didn't bathe for almost a week and I slept in that bed - ew.  So that is all fresh.  

Since we were having sudden power spikes, on/off at times I did unplug my computer so it wouldn't get fried.  I also unplugged my washer.  It has delicate electronics.  I hate to think what a new motherboard would cost us.  And I did the right thing both are working perfectly.  

Ideally, if I won the lotto, I would do a few things: 

• Insulate attic and water heater
• New siding and insulation in walls (I have very little insulation in the walls of my house).  I could feel those drafts let me tell you.  Happily I did have my mountain of blankets.  
• Some sort of generator maybe a generac or just a regular pull cord one that runs on gas.  

Other than that I am pretty satisfied.  

Ron has been good, very appreciative.  He refused his vitamin today but that's his choice.  I told him the Keppra (seizure pill) is mandatory and he agreed he would never stop taking it. But I'm not worried if he declines the vitamin.  

He hadn't eaten much for a few days so I managed to tempt him last night with some Frito Pie.  Today he wanted split pea soup which I had.  

At worst we only lost electricity for 20 hours and I had the freezer packed tight, I also made it colder.  So I feel confident all the frozen food is OK.  I did toss the raw hamburger in the fridge.  I'm not taking a chance on that.  

My allergies are pretty bad it is tree pollen season.  It is bad enough I keep a hanky close at hand.  I would hate to see me without the allergy pills!  

That's it for now.  

I love my city!

 I went outside because it is sunny and in the 60's.  I could use some fresh air.  I was craving a treat.  I sat outside for a while and heard something in the distance.  

Is that?  

Yes, it is.  

IT'S THE ICE CREAM MAN.  I ran in the house and got my money.  

Now one important thing if you want to be ready for disasters, have some small bills on hand.  I did.  Not many but enough for an ice cream bar.  I flagged them down and bought an ice cream bar, gave them a tip.  

It was very good. I thought it was funny though Monday night I am freezing to death in my bed, Saturday I am eating an icecream bar, wearing a tshirt and sweat pants, sitting in the sun. 

And the spirit it takes to get right out there after a disaster and sell ice cream!  I wish I could have given them a bigger tip!  

Heather's Hitlist, top products that helped during the freeze

 As you know Houston froze over.  I was most of a week without power and no power for a couple days as well.  What worked?  I will only focus on things that did well.  

• 5 gallon utility buckets (just the basic ones you find everywhere) and 2 liter empty "pop" bottles.  Filled with water before I cut off my water (to prevent pipe freezes, which worked).  I could flush, drink, etc. all I wanted as I had a decent amount.  Keeping all that even though it takes up some space.  
• Battery operated lanterns.  I had two types, forget the first type but got this from Amazon.  It runs on a couple of double A batteries and lasts a long time, good light as well.  Less than $20 for two.   https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B018L2WM86/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Come on, you can do that, how many lattes is that?  
• Teakettle for my gas stove.  I could boil water all day long and make tea, oatmeal, cup of noodles, and camping meals (freeze dried food, just add boiling water).  I got mine at an Asian grocery for about $10.  It would also be good for "boil water" orders.  
• Mountain House or other camping food.  The just add boiling water type.  Monday was not a fun day for me, the house was freezing cold and I was hungry.  I made a sweet and sour pork and it made my night so much better.  They even have desserts.  NOT cheap by my standards but worth it in a REAL emergency.  https://smile.amazon.com/stores/Mountain+House/page/02A77928-AFE6-4D10-9F41-9EE4E53AD9CB?ref_=ast_bln 
• Scented candle.  Very nice during a bad time.  Didn't give much light but did smell nice and pretty flame.  
• Mylar blanket.  Really did help (I put mine under the fitted sheet).  

That's it for now if I think of more I will add them.  

Friday morning

 We slept OK, at least I did and Ron was quiet.  

I was very anxious about turning on the water, but I did.... and no leaks.  So I did the right thing: I hired a plumber who insulated pipes when he did them.  I drained the pipes as well and cut the water off.  Do that.  

That was a huge relief, shortly followed by me stampeding into the shower.  I used dish soap on my hair as it was so greasy and it worked well, then I washed it normally (I seldom use conditioner as it is very oily).  I had a nice refreshing shower.  

I dressed and got ready to go but Ron was in a NASTY mood.  I found out later he was in pretty severe pain so I need to remember nasty probably = hurting.  It is easy to forget, even though I do it myself.  

I went to work.  I had high hopes of sold out machines.  Not quite.  They were mostly full.  I saw a generator so I am guessing they lost power and shut down the "non essential vending" circuit which I would have done myself.  They have mail to sort, they are not there to make me money.  

I did remove what I could and sorted some quarters so I could fill the bill changer.  Then I left.  All the bank branches were closed.  For Ron's bank and the business account, and while I do have issues with their hours they do run the transaction accurately.  So I just kept it as $1 bills.  

We went to the Post Office and got my 3 mail pieces.  Then my bank.  I had to put in $20 to cover my cell phone (fee is $35 and I had some in the account).  That was pretty quick.  

But Walmart had been raped.  No warm clothes for sale, no bacon or milk, no soda, etc. I didn't look around because Jack was waiting but it was really bad.  

But during the worst of the storm I was sitting on the couch WISHING I had some Great Value Queso chips.  And they had them, so I snatched them up.  I also got the last 2 cans of Great Value Chili with beans (one had a dent but he will eat it quick).  I only spent $17 total.  

We went home and Ron was groaning as I opened the door.  Ah.  I hooked him up with some Advil and a Kratom capsule.  Blogger has never gotten back to me about Kratom.  Am I allowed to discuss?  Apparently.  He is sleeping peacefully now, it really does work when he takes it. I am happy about that he was having a terrible time.  

So some thoughts: 

• I need to make some pb&J sandwiches before a storm event.  They will keep and I will have good comfort food.  
• Next time I would put 20 gallons of water in buckets instead of 15.  I almost ran out of flush water.  You are looking at about 2 gallons a flush.  Only flush for solids.  
• I need to find my warm socks and put them with other cold weather gear for a cold weather disaster kit.  
• I need to get a couple sweatshirts to go with my sweatpants.  The sweatpants were very comfortable and would definitely wear again.  I normally don't like sleeves for some reason but when it got cold I wore my hoodie to bed. 
• Cats were well equipped for food and treats.  Could use a little more litter to be optimal.  

That's it for now.  

I have water!

 It's been over an hour since I turned it on.  Oh, such a good shower (it had been 5 days).  I used dish soap for my hair the first time I washed it.  Rinsed that out and did regular shampoo, that felt great to get my hair clean.  Everything seems back to normal.  

Will be going to work and to run errands today while it is decent.  

Selfie

So I talked to my sister

 I went to bed early (I prefer to) last night and the power went out, I went and covered Ron up.  He really prefers lying mostly naked in bed with the thermostat set on "high" it is quite a sight.  

When he fell he was very concerned about modesty, though.  The power came back on before it got cold so I slept great.  

But with these space heaters going nonstop it is NOT going to be an $80 bill like last month!  

I got up and did my God Time, had some oatmeal.  Ron wasn't hungry.  My sister sent me a text so I called her.  She answered.  I think she had me in her phone book because she wasn't surprised.  She told me about her medical stuff, which is private, but I will say the tumor was the size of a couple of oranges.  Yike.  But she sounded good considering.  

I was SHOCKED they sent her home so fast she just got gutted!   She lives alone!  But her kids pooled and hired her a helper who comes in every day.  She seems to be doing great considering.  

It was a little stiff (mostly on my part) but she was glad I was OK.  I let her go pretty quick as she's still recovering and needs her rest.  

I took a nap and had a pretty good one.  I did wake up with a bad headache, I have been getting them, I believe a combination of stress and the cold front.  

Tomorrow I will be turning on the water, if the pipes are OK I will take a shower and that will be great!  Then go to work.  

I have been wearing the same sweatpants and t-shirt for a week so I am looking forward to getting into something else.  My hair is beyond greasy.  I remember talking with a black woman and she told me she didn't need to wash her hair very often.  I told her if I don't get it daily it gets really bad, and it is.  I may need to do the first wash with dish soap.  But a lot of people have it far worse I don't think a lot of them took it seriously, they just assumed they could trickle their water and everything would be fine.  

My aunt, from my understanding, had an outside pipe blow out.  She has a patch on it and has water for now.  But she, too, will need a plumber.  

My faith needs work I am really so worried I have a burst pipe.  I hope not.  I will find out tomorrow and let you know. 

The cats are great, we had a VERY small squabble between Torbie and Cleo earlier but that's it.  It only lasted a few seconds.  

When the power was off I kept craving microwave popcorn.  I told myself I would fix some when the power came back.  I remembered today and did that, it was good.  That fake butter grease is so tasty but I could feel it clogging my arteries.  

It's going to get down in the 20's tonight so I am leaving the water off for tonight but tomorrow starts a warming trend and I can finally turn it on again.  

I also remembered my face cleaning wipes, they are moistened with cleanser and felt very good this morning.  

I have no idea what I am doing for dinner tonight.  That's it for now.  

I look so awful I am going to put up a photo as well.  😂

Wednesday evening

 It's pill time in 10 minutes. 

I also need to figure out what I am doing for dinner.  HAPPILY I have electric, heat, microwave.  I turned the fridge down so everything stayed chilly but I did toss the pound of raw ground hamburger.  

Ron was with me on that, better safe than sick.  

I had a great nap with my mini space heater blasting away at my bed and several layers also. I am pretty thin blooded.  

But a few times I went out to the trash can and I remember thinking the weather was a lot like Virginia when I was a kid.  She would bundle me in my snowsuit and send me out, I always had a blast.  On a really good day there would be hot cocoa at the end of my snowy adventure.  Good memories.  

BUT very glad I do not deal with this often.  I did decide it would be wise to buy the $4 bag of non clumping clay cat litter to sprinkle on the ice for traction because we will get ice again.  That I could use.  And more of that freeze dried "just add boiling water" camping food (backpacker's pantry and mountain house are 2 good brands) that worked out well.  

Now I need to do some home care, happily with good electric lighting and a warm heater.  This would have really sucked for Ron yesterday.  

 And I need to figure out dinner.  I am thinking macaroni and beef.   

But I also need protein so I had a protein shake.  I can eat a real meal in an hour or two.  

I notice my pants are fitting looser so I think I lost some weight out of this.  

SO glad the heat is back.  That was really quite crappy.  

Wednesday

 So we have been having power issues ongoing.  They did put it on during the worst of the cold but then down again.  Came back last night and still on.  

About an hour after I got out of bed Ron fell on the floor.  I looked and found some non emergency first responder numbers.  And they transferred me to 911.  

Now Ron on the floor, uninjured, awake and alert does not feel like an emergency to me.  Harris county emergency services felt quite differently.  

Part of that may be I filled out a profile for us online so they would have an idea what they are getting into when I call.  It lists all his problems, and mine.  Medications taken.  So they may have looked at that and thought "Oh crap we had better get out there ASAP"  

And they came with the lights on which I found a little embarrassing.  But they got Ron back into bed, did an assessment, and left.  

So we are fine now.  The house is still nice and warm I will enjoy it.  On the menu today: ICE STORM so that will suck and could impede power again.  

I did remember to make a pot of coffee with some bottled water.  Last night I made some tea as the house chilled, that helped but I did have to get up to urinate which meant more cold and losing my built up heat in the bed.  

We are just starting to get some icy drizzle and according to the radio over 1 million in Houston without power so not sure now long we will have our electric.  

I will enjoy it while I do.  

Power out again

House is still warm at 70 degrees.  Bad news, I have a crippling migraine.  Hope my Fioricet does the job.  I wrapped Ron up with an emergency blanket under his regular ones.  He sounds a little crinkly moving around, but is much warmer.  I also put one on my bed, under the fitted sheet.  Cats are good.

Still no power

Good thing I have a lot of blankets

  House temp about 58 and been that for a while.  Apparently a lot of Texas is without power.  Ron is grumbling but warm.  Gas stove works so I am drinking a lot of hot tea.  Phone network overloaded so text only.  Hoping this gets through.

Good rapture weather!

Power out

Still OK in the house.  

Sunday afternoon

 I was so excited when I saw the Amazon package on the porch, but I have learned to check the name.  NOT mine.  I returned it.  

I looked around the yard everything looks OK.  #2 DID hear me on the Ring camera because they bought faucet covers and installed them so they won't freeze their pipes.  Smart.  I need to get some "proper" covers at some point vs. the rags I normally use.  I like them and am glad they won't have problems.  

I checked the cat shelter, no one in it but it looks good. It will be a good shelter for some creature tonight.  Ideally I would put some mylar in there but I think what I have is OK.  My cats are definitely staying home.  I had 3 cats in the bed today when I tried to take my nap.  

I just need to fill my buckets, cut the water and drain the pipes.  

I talked to my aunt she is snowbound with 3 grandchildren and a puppy, things sounded pretty wild.  Her son and DIL will be coming home tonight, hopefully.  I hope my aunt stays off the roads for a few days until things settle down.  

I don't question their driving, but there are a lot of people unschooled on ice and snow driving.

I found my mylar blankets so I fixed up the cat shelter with one lining it.  It will be a little warmer for whatever takes refuge.  

It was utterly miserable out there, I could see my breath, ice droplets raining down, very cold, so when I came in I filled up the buckets, used the toilet, did the dishes, filled up a couple of water sources, and cut off the water.  It took a minute to drain but it's all gone.  I also have the small space heater by the open cabinet with all the expen$ive plumbing.  

My pipe wraps look OK.  And my pipes are dry I checked all the faucets.  Dad was right, it was great to have the little lever to pull to cut off the water.  I paid extra for that but worth it.  

I am considering dinner options I am thinking either a cup of noodles or some tuna, but leaning toward the noodles.  

It is good weather for hot noodles.     

Preparing for a hard freeze

 I talked to my parents last night.  They didn't know about our winter storm coming in.  

It's a big deal to Houston because our houses, all of them, were built for between 40-80 degrees NOT at all constructed to deal with pipe freezing issues.  

They had said they might come out this fall, which would work for me as I have to raise money for a caregiver for Ron.  I can't leave him for a day.  A couple hours, yes, but not a day.  So I will have to find someone willing to deal with our quirks and to deal with his issues.  And raise the money to pay them.  According to the caregiver group the going rate is between $200-300 for 24 hours.  

I don't gossip about Ron's care as you have seen, so they (parents) don't have a good idea what all he needs day to day.  Not sure how to say something or even if Ron would want me to.  But they are assuming he is spry and he is not.  

So then they were saying late this spring and I was thinking oh, crap.  But now they are saying they don't want to come for a while because Ron is not vaccinated and they don't want to bring it to him.  Understandable but I wouldn't blame them I would blame Ron for not getting the vax.  

So that was that.  They are doing well.  Wanted to know about my sister.  I sent her a very polite text "Is it a good time to talk?" and signed it "Heather" just so she knew...and no response I guess she is not interested.  BUT I can tell our brother I reached out he saw me as the bad guy in that.  He was very nice about it but felt I was being unreasonable.  

He is a very nice guy.  My Dad wanted to know why I stopped talking to her and I said she was trying to make me choose between her and Ron.  YES at the time Ron was not being an ideal husband but he is my husband and I made a commitment to him. I can't just walk away because he called me names.  

And he has been fine lately so that isn't even an issue anymore.  And the picture she painted of life with her - and knowing she is a hoarder and would constantly be putting stuff in my space, what little I had - was not appealing.  

So I slept OK last night.   Ron did too. I brought all the paint cans (many!) and cleaning supplies in from the garage so they don't freeze.  Also the bottled water from the disaster kit, sitting out in the garage.  I didn't want it to freeze and I am cutting off my water tonight so I brought it in.  

I put some buckets in the tub I will fill those last thing and use them for flushing.  We can drink the bottled water and be fine.  

Hopefully this is only a couple days but could go all week.  

I also need to run next door and tell the girls (#2) to wrap their hose faucets, they haven't yet.  I like them and I don't want to see them with frozen pipes.  Yes I will appear to be meddling but I will take the chance.  

That's it for now.  

Friday and some of Saturday

 1.  Yes I DID get the Valentine's day card, THANK YOU.  👍

OK that said yesterday was busy.  I went to Sam's.  If I gave up my "personal" cash I had $300 to spend after paying Jack (he seems very happy with what I give him, about what a Uber would cost for most rides).  I spent it all down to the penny.  

I figured, accurately I believe, that I will have captive customers this weekend.  Who wants to go out in 10 degrees with a windchill to buy a candy bar when I have one right there?  So I got everything but the honey buns (not enough money).  

We went to work, unloaded, he left.  I stocked and stocked and boy did I stock it all.  The tea with lemonade was so popular I had 3 people trying to buy it as I stocked.  That's popular.  I did snacks as well, had to trouble shoot the canned soda vendors but I got them OK.  Not ashamed to say I prayed for help as I did it.  

But my hands were pretty good (no tremors) so I could disassemble the units and put them back.  

So I did all that.  Ron called he wanted to talk but all the seats were taken.  I had to go outside to talk to him.  It felt like the 20's.  I had my good coat (thank God for Lands End and their 65% off sale a couple years ago), a wool hat, gloves, etc. so I was fine.  He said he wanted an Arby's Brisket sandwich so I said I would make that happen.  

I also told him I didn't mind getting him one because I could get myself a beef and cheddar, and a vanilla shake!  Yes, in that weather I wanted a shake!  

So Jack came and we went to the Post Office.  A long line BUT I got all my mail.  

I had been worried about the electric bill.  Long story short I can only pay at Walmart in person with a fresh bill.  And I was worried about getting a fresh bill.  But I did and even better only $80.  

Then we went to Arby's that was pretty quick and then home.  I had to do some home care before I ate.  😛  Did that, took a while, so glad I have adequate supplies.  I found some big bath wipes under Ron's bed when I cleaned it out and they work pretty well.  I may get more.  

Once I finished that I gave Ron his food, and ate mine.  It was very good.  

Ron was cold.  He wanted the thermostat at 90.  He was under a big blanket.  I told him let's get the space heater going and he is very happy with that in his room.  I also explained his anemia because he is colder than a "normal" person.  

I did what I could for winter proofing the house as it will get exceptionally cold for Houston.  I put my wool blanket on my own bed and was very toasty.  I also have the sleeping bags from last year so we can each get one in addition to what we already have.  We should be fine.  

I plan to turn off the water and drain the pipes on the worst nights because I just don't have that kind of insulation.  I will have some water in 5 gallon buckets should the need arise but I think that will work pretty well.  

I cleaned out the litter boxes, will do that daily as I doubt they will go out, and topped off with fresh litter.  The cats are set.  If we lose power I may need to put some water bowls down for them.  The current bowl runs on electric.  

Other than that we are pretty set.  I don't plan to go back to work until this is all over.  I took out a small amount in case we have expenses but I doubt we will.  I just did a grocery run so we should be fine.  

I also asked my brother for our sister's cell phone number so I can call her later.  If she wants!  

That's it for now.  

She made it

My brother texted me at 3 AM Eastern so I am not going to bother him tonight.  I assume he would have told me if she died.  

She made it...didn't want to post until I heard.  I will call in a few days when she's feeling better.  

I didn't sleep well wondering and woke up with a ghastly headache.  I couldn't remember if I took my headache pills (Excedrin) if I did they didn't work.  I waited 4 hours and took my Bubital.  It made a significant dent.  I am looking at about $1.50 a dose and worth it.  I can tell the headache is still around but it isn't severe.  I was able to take care of Ron which is always good.  

I won't go into all I help with but I help with all of it, that I will say.  So it was important to moderate the headache.  Thank God I do have some good remedies.  

I did all the daily household chores and talked to my brother.  He needs a good low cost spay and neuter clinic and I found him one.  He doesn't have internet so I was able to find one for him.  He lives in a pretty big town (You have heard of it) so I knew they had a clinic.  That is one great thing the animal welfare people have done lately, get a spay and neuter clinic in every neighborhood.  And they all seem to run about $50.  

I took a nap, got up, headache is worse, so I took another headache pill.  That helped a lot but I don't feel "great" I just feel "functional".  I am pretty sure a lot of it is stress and the rest is the cold weather front.  

The trash pickup came.  Since some of the workers had COVID I was very careful disinfecting the lid and handle before I brought it back up to the house.  I also washed my hands as well.  

I have no idea what I'm doing for dinner, Ron had some roast chicken earlier so he's good.  The cats are fine as well.  Cleo was so cute with me earlier.  She feels very safe when I am lying in bed, so she will come up for lovies, lick my hand, etc.  Just the sweetest and best little girl.  And to think she wouldn't let me pet her for months!  I admit I really enjoy sleeping with "a" cat I am not picky about "who" but I have a few who rotate.  

I think I am going to go finish my Bible study.  I did about half of it earlier.  

Oh, I ordered some vitamins from Swanson before I realized what had happened to the mail box, they left the package on my porch today (sent regular mail).  So I was happy to get that $20 is $20.  I took a Stress B vitamin hoping it would help with the headache.  It did help with the energy.  And when I am feeling better I am going to enjoy that bar of gardenia soap.  

  

Well that was a surprise

 I put my phone in silent mode when I sleep so only the alarm gets through.  I awoke to find a text message from my brother, our sister was in surgery, today, for a massive liver tumor and didn't think she would make it.  I said I would pray, I have been.  

We split some years back because I felt she was making me choose between her and Ron.   She didn't take it well and stalked me for a couple months after.  

I will be honest, I figured she was reading the blog and probably making "anonymous" comments.  She was on my short list for the type of person who would have reported me to APS last year.  Did she?  Doubtful I will know.  

But my brother hasn't texted me she's dead so there's that.  I called my aunt, and my stepmother.  My aunt gave me some good insight into what I was upset about back in 2013 and my stepmother said she had a friend die slowly of liver cancer and it was horrible.  I don't want that for my sister.  

I am hoping either they get it all today or she has a quick transition.  That is the same thing I would ask for my Dad, or for Ron.  

I'll keep you posted.  I got my original message at 3 AM so not sure what has happened.  But I figured you ought to know.  

Sunday and most of Monday

 Yesterday was pretty quiet, I did some housework.  Not everything on the list but enough, and I got Ron a good bath which always relieves my caregiver pressures.  He may be a wreck but he's a clean one.  I cleaned the litter boxes.  

It is very interesting I have 6 boxes, I take the advice one for each cat + 1.  I also believe I need different styles.  Spotty loves to fling litter so he needs higher sides.  Cleo is very timid and needs an open box.  Baby Girl can't do covered.  Biscuit likes high sides.  So I have a few low,  medium, and one high sided box.  Biscuit uses the high box only.  No other cats use it, so it's a good way to monitor his output.  He is urinating a lot and the clumps looked fine, solids are normal in all boxes as well.  But I did have a lingering pissy odor from his box I will have to address.  

Took a shower, dried off, went to bed.  I got up about 7 (after giving Ron his pills at 5), got ready and off to work.  Sales were pretty dead but God provided just enough for some groceries, transportation, and inventory run later this week.  I went to the bank and converted the $1's into $20's (not that many ha ha), came home, put my work stuff away.  Jack waited.  

Then I went back outside and we went to the post office.  I stood in the main line but they sent me somewhere else in the building.  I talked to a clerk and she was very nice.  

I asked God to give me more respect for the workers and He is doing that.  She also told me the vandals hit (we saw damage all over the subdivision when driving with Jack) "The entire West Side" (of Houston) so I don't feel singled out any more.   So everything is on hold I just go pick it up.  So it "ought" to be safe to mail letters.  

Speaking of things in the mail I went to Little Cesars on the way home and got a pepperoni.  I ate some and took a nap.  I had a very good nap, got up, checked the mail (my concern they may still be delivering to the broken mail box and then someone is stealing my mail), did my God Time (did about half this morning) and dosed Ron.  He is having a pretty rough night.  

The cats are good, we had a black and white stray hanging out in the yard this morning, my guys seemed to like him (?) but of course we are not taking him.  He ran away when I opened the door but seemed friendly with my cats.  We are going to get some cold weather this week, like everyone, and I am really glad I have that little cat shelter out back for strays.  

That's it for now.  

Saturday

I slept great last night.  I got up at 5 for Pill Time (Ron's) and went back to bed for a couple hours.  I spent my time reading my Bible, devotionals, and also working on the biography of George Muller he and Corrie Ten Boom are two "faith heroes" I admire and respect, and have taught me a lot. 

I had a good shower, Ron didn't need much today outside of a Frito Pie.  He is addicted to them.  He's a little like me in that regard, gets a great enthusiasm for some food, eats it frequently, stops and doesn't eat it for a while.  Basically it is Fritos, chili, onions, and shredded cheese (the way I fix it for Ron) in a bowl.  He can eat it on his own.  Makes a mess but I have a towel we use as a bib.  

I did up 3 weeks of my medication - I have the most pills so I prefer to do them all at once.  Ron's I do once a week, he only has 3 prescriptions so not as bad.  I also (ideally) have him on a multi vitamin and some minerals in addition to his OTC supplements and prescriptions.  He has the "big boy" 4 compartments a day organizer where I just have the AM/PM ones.  

Me I take D, multi, antioxidants, minerals, 4 scripts, allergy pill, etc.  But it all fits.  

It was cloudy and a little chill today; everytime I saw sun I would go outside and it would be cloudy again.  I did not take a nap as I took my shower late and I hate to sleep with wet hair.  

My mail box is broken (the whole box at the end of our block, with about 15 houses).  They are not delivering my mail so don't mail anything, I need to sort this out first.  I will let you know when I have it settled but DON'T MAIL ANYTHING.  I may not get it.  This is aggravating.  

That said it is partially my fault.  That a thug took a crowbar to the mailbox?  Sort of.  I had been feeling less than optimal toward various Postal employees and told God I needed His help working on my attitude that I respect them more, as they pay my living.  

And this happened.  God has His way of working.  

Not how I would have done it... but He's the Lord and I'm just a subject.  

It is like the time when I asked God to teach me patience and He did - through a series of Jobs From Hell I navigated over months, it was horrible - but at the end of it I had more patience and it taught me I could do a lot worse than working for Ron.  

I don't think I ever told you about the one boss I had - she was an accountant.  I was hired as an assistant.  The boss was a cougar type, older, got a lot of makeup and plastic surgery.  I am ashamed to admit the next: one day during lunch she told me she did not think Jesus was the only way to Heaven and I waffled.  That was a horrible point in my faith life.  

Anyway one night Ron had some horrible "tube" infection in his testicle and was in excruciating pain.  We went to the local hospital and were there over a day.  He had epidymitis I believe they termed it, the tube from the testicle was infected (he had been cheating a few months previous and probably picked it up then), had to have a course of antibiotics but fixed up.  ANYWAY we got home at about 4 AM on a workday and he called and left a message on the voicemail, "I'm sorry Heather can't come in to work today, it is all my fault we were at the ER all night"  She found the message "sexy" played it for the other employee talking about what a sexy voice Ron had, wanted a photo of him, etc.  She kept talking about him even saying "I know it's wrong to be interested" and such.  That's just one example of "crazy bosses".  

I worried I might actually have to pimp Ron out to keep my job!  We weren't married yet.  

So God teaches me what I'm ready to learn but I often don't like the lesson!  This is just one example.  The other lesson I guess being last year with the disaster and "You need to ask for help, Heather" I was ADAMANT I didn't want any help until the plumber showed up and freaked out over all the water in the house.  

Hopefully I am teachable.  

Friday

 Sooo, last night I went to check the mail and took a deeper look than normal.  The back of the box is pried, halfway off.  For about 15 houses.  Not cool.  Some idiot probably thought he could steal "all the stimulus checks" which aren't even out yet.  What a little slime.  

That's a first for me in 30 some years living on my own.  Now my second place with Ron in CA had hatchet/axe marks in the metal door like an enraged ex had tried forcing his way into the apartment.  Landlord was too cheap to replace it, so every time I came home I had to see the rage.  

But I will get it sorted out. 

I went to the warehouse.  It was overcast and chilly but not cold.  We got the supplies, didn't need candy or a whole lot of bottled drinks.  We came to work, I brought it in and went to work.  I got everything stocked and left.  

It was appreciably colder, windy, and raining.  I had an umbrella but my wait was not pleasant.  Bonus: Jack has a really good heater.  We agreed next time I would wait inside and he could call me.  

I deeply regretted not bringing my nice winter coat (vs Hoodie) with gloves, scarf, and a wool hat.  But I made it.  

We came home, I put my stuff away, washed my hands, tried to take a nap but couldn't.  

My pills came in last night but it was pretty close to closing time.  I ran over there and got them, also some of the "good" pea protein.  I had a little time to shop and looked around a little, just got some basic things like hot dogs for dinner tonight and Nutri grain bars for Ron.  He likes a bite of them when he takes his pills.  

I also ran by the McDonald's and got a plain hamburger for Cleo and dinner for us.  This morning I called Cleo, she came running eagerly for her hamburger, and Baby Girl, the thug, stole the bites I had put down for Cleo.  Cleo was very disappointed but is low cat on the hierarchy so she just has to take the abuse.  I felt terrible for her but I have more.  I will just have to do it privately and not make a big production out of calling her.  

My migraine pills were $70 they better work!  My aunt said I can do better with a discount card so I will look into that.  I don't get many migraines really but when I get one it is bad so I will need it then.  And I have 60 that should last me the year at least.  

Ron is good he had a good day.  Tomorrow I will do a little more focused home care.  He gets a bird/private bath every day but I want to get a little more detailed tomorrow. Work was good when I left we should be fine for a while now.  

That's it for now! 

A graphic description of the accident and some about my cycle.

 I started my cycle yesterday, a little late but the standard routine.  First day is not very heavy but day two!  WHOO!  Then very light for a few days and all done.  

I figure I can go for another 10 years or so based on my mother's history.  She also had the problem that is very common to transitioning women, no cycle for long periods and then HELLO.  So I anticipate that even though I have only missed a couple of months, not all at once even, last year.  

I have been moderately depressed as well.  Yesterday was pretty horrible as Ron had terrible arthritis pain in his knee.  He lay in bed screaming as I tried different things.  The Icy Hot worked pretty well, and interestingly enough the Boswellia/Curcurmin supplement I bought some time back for my foot.  

He asked me to buy more (I only had a little left) so I did, while shopping at Swanson I got some Stress B's with C, regular C, and some fancy gardenia soap for $4.  Ron was very pleased to hear I had got myself something "fun" and begged me to get something "nice" when I went to Walmart for the medication.  

As it stands his seizure pills are in, none of my stuff apparently.  Hopefully I can just make one trip and be done.  

Cleo is begging she figured out I manage the treats.  It is really cute to hear her little interrogatory meow.  My understanding feral cats do not meow so her meowing, and begging, is a big step.  I am very proud of her.  

Baby Girl and Ron are lying down together, she is wrapped around his head like some sort of turban.  It is  very cute.  

So I slept OK except for waking up soaked and having to clean up.  The joys of having a uterus.  

BUT my mother only had the heart trouble in menopause so there is a huge protective effect from the estrogen.  I won't complain.  I am at a pretty huge risk for heart trouble based on family history.  

I had been putting off the monthly report but finally got on that and we made about $400 last month.  😂  Not a surprise.  That is all filed and our fee paid.  Good.  

Next up a shower (well right now I am drinking some coffee to celebrate finishing the report), and then my God Time, hopefully medication comes in today so I can get that and do a little shopping.  I am really happy Doc agreed to some Fioricet he knew it as a good migraine drug when I mentioned it.  I will probably take 1-2 tablets a month so no worries about abuse.  It's just that full moon, right before my cycle, throw in a cold front and I am unhappy!  This will hopefully keep me functional.  

I can't take triptans (most common migraine drug "imitrex" and all) because they interact with lithium.  Lithium does interact with a fair amount of drugs so I carry a keyring with my medications.  If I am unable to talk the paramedics will find it.  

I am glad to hear Ron sleeping today.  He had a really bad day yesterday.  

He was hit on his right side, bumper got his leg and the grille got his chest/kidney area (kidney recovered, chest needed 2 operations and he also collapsed a lung).  He apparently flipped up onto the hood, right arm went through the windshield, thrown OFF the vehicle and backpack caught on rearview, dragged about 2 blocks hanging off the rear view like some sort of gutted fish.  He had really bad road rash to the inside of his left knee so I always figured it would give him trouble one day.  I was right.  

A doctor, on examining his knees about 15 years ago, proclaimed them "very crunchy" and a diagnosis of arthritis.  The account of the accident was told by someone who spoke to an eyewitness.  Every now and then I remind myself  of what he suffered because he had a LOT of damage, and that's what I tell him when he apologizes for being such a wreck.  

Not many people could have come back from that. 

The antipsychotic!

 Got a text from the pharmacy, out of my antipsychotic!  Out of all the drugs, the one that keeps me from hallucinating and delusions.  Don't they realize I have a helpless man in the next room?  

YES I have more but that's not the point, someone out there doesn't, and may have an infant or something to care for.   That's just BAD.  

Makes me glad I am gettingthisnow because I imagine supply chain is not going toimprove any timesoon. I am going to leave that sentence to illustrate my space bar issues.  😂

But once I get it (all of it) I am good for 3 months.  I will focus on that.  I also called in Ron's Keppra (seizure pill).  Unfortunately I will have to take him in to get a refill on the blood pressure medication.  That's not going to be fun for either of us. 

Just SAD.  Most people are like my Dad and wait until they are on the last couple pills and then say "Oh yeah better get a refill".   I never do that because I am fragile and need to plan ahead for shortages.   

I use a pills oftheweek organizer, and one timeI forgot to put the antipsychotic inthe days.  I went off it for about5 days, hallucinating frogs everywhere before I figured it out.  Horrible.    

Next day: went to work, made enough money to buy inventory. Ron's medicine is in I am just waiting for the call on mine, if it ever comes.   

Biscuit continues to get up on my keyboard and I will not be getting a new keyboard.  He likes to put his weight on the space bar and I don't think that would stop with a new one; keyboards are not designed for that.  

This sort of works.  It does make me think more about what I'm typing.  

Ron had a really bad morning for pain.  He has settled and is snoring right now.  He almost fell out of bed but I got him.    

He seemed  to get a lot of relief from the Boswellia Curcurmin supplement so I may be getting more of those; I will talk to him first.  But they're cheap and he tolerated it very well, and is snoring away.  

That's it for now.  

Another strange night

 I was just utterly exhausted yesterday.  I went to bed very early, around 6-7 and woke up again at 9.  I couldn't go back to sleep for hours, it was very frustrating.  I finally dropped off, woke up exhausted, and took care of Ron, back to bed for a little bit and woke up again.  Frustrating and tiring.  

I have concluded Biscuit is going to keep getting up on my keyboard and it is better not to replace it.   He will just break the new one, too. I can always go back and edit spacebars into my post.  

Ray Bradbury once said it was better to let it all out at once and then go back and edit, anyway.  That's good enough for me.  It is too bad they don't have a definitive collection of his works that would be great.  

Anyway I did my phone appointment with the doctor and he is writing a script for some migraine medication. 

I just feel like whining.   I also found out I will have to take Ron into the doctor to get his refill for the blood pressure medication.  That is discouraging.  I will have to talk to him about it later.  

I am hoping I can get a nap today.  

Today was pretty quiet

 I was very groggy getting over the migraine.  I did run an errand and came straight home. 

Biscuit has broken the spacebar.  He gets up on the keyboard and apparently stepped on it the wrong way.  I can get it to work with some brutality. 

I went to bed, slept about an hour, and woke up again.  Hopefully I can go back to sleep.  I have a lot of things I need to do tomorrow.