Thursday, April 16, 2015


Pretty tired this morning, I got my shower but will be doing my God Time later (as I did last night).  I don't feel overtly depressed, just exhausted. 

However, all blood tests are OK so I'm not "ailing".  I think it's a combination of side effects and depression, and maybe some allergy. 

Last night my arm (which has a swath of hives already), began throbbing and swelling after someone put peanuts into my hand.  I had a ferocious reaction, and wanted nothing more than to flay my extremely itchy forearm! 

Thank God Ron had a Benadryl.  Thinking about it today, I'm pretty sure I have a peanut allergy. 

To clinch it, while I was at the warehouse, I got near the peanut butter crackers.  I was on the other side of the rack, looking at candy bars, thinking about inventory levels.  All of a sudden my arm started to itch again.  I looked up and saw the peanut butter crackers. 

One of my best sellers. 

Stocking is going to be REALLY interesting. 

Anyway, we went to the warehouse and I got, as I told Ron, "A bandaid's worth of snacks to slap on the vending machines until Saturday".  He wasn't happy to hear I needed more, but, hey, they like what I'm doing. 

I am currently featuring a mix of boring, plain stuff, and hot and spicy.  The customers seem to like it. 

The customers seem to like us, pretty well. 

Ron made a bunch of really cruel and inappropriate comments about my weight, asking what I ate as a teenager (a lot of pasta, and milk), and saying I should "eat that way again so you can lose the weight".  It doesn't work like that.

On a fundamental level, he refuses to acknowledge 1.  I have zero energy.  Outside of work, I'm doing well to shower, laundry, and clean the litter box  and 2.  My medication wrecks the metabolism.  It is on everything I take "May cause weight gain". 

I'm doing what I can.  He refuses to accept I HAVE lost 30 pounds in less than a year.  Refuses to see that as any kind of victory.  Probably thinks that if he did, I would just "quit".  Just the opposite. 

We went to work.  I only had one other client making covetous comments about the snack items.  She was not thin.  "Sometimes" she said "You have to ignore that ol' doctor and eat what you want!" 

I had to repent for the responding thought I had.  I didn't say it but it wasn't nice.  [sigh]  ..... the last thing you need are a couple bags of chips (and she was angling).  

I know what lymphedema looks like.  This wasn't it. 

Anyway, I got everything stocked.  I helped Ron, he said I was a big help.  I met the repairman and we got the food machine going again.  We made a date for next week. 

Time to go.  Happily we just came home.  I took a good nap.  Still tired when I got up.  We're off tomorrow due to probable thunderstorms, etc.  Everything is stocked, we've done what we could. 

Oh, and I had another shouting from one of the other vendor's customers.  I'm sorry, but I don't take care of that machine. 

Ron and I are the only ones working during the busy afternoon shift.  We pay refunds directly at the vending machine.  Sometimes, I told Ron, the customer either needs to yell at someone, and/or hear someone say, directly, "I am sorry that happened".  They don't want the money so much as they want the apology.  Of course, in my world they get both.  They want to see remorse. 

Well, they get it with us.  I just manage my machines as best I can. 

I put out plenty of cold food items so everyone got their sandwiches for tonight. 

We finally got home.  I forget what Ron said but I remember thinking "If someone at work treated me this way, you'd be furious, but if it's you it's OK."  I managed to sleep, in spite of the racket he made.

He's asleep now.  I'm quiet.  I will remain quiet.

If nothing else, I won't have to deal with his theological complaints/commentary while I do my God Time.   

But, ugh.  A pretty rough day, considering. 


Anonymous said...

I wish I had lost 30lbs this year! Congratulations! I am stuck 20lbs from goal right now and about to give up! I have a husband and honestly he doesnt berate my fat but he sure doesnt go to any lengths to notice if I look better one day vs another! LOL! I give up thinking I am going to get any kudos form him. He is just not capible but god forbid I forget to praise his efforts. LOL! MEN!!! ARGH!

Anonymous said...

do you have an EPI pen? if not maybe your dr would prescribe one? Healther hives can be inside as well as outside it is good when you are out and about to carry an epi pen if you are prone to allergies? sorry about the hives I get them so I appreciate how miserable they can be. I combine benedryl and claritin then keep an epipen in reach at all times. Especially in the garden

A trip to the hematologist

I slept OK but woke up really tired.  I hit the snooze alarm a few times, much to Biscuit's disgust.  But I'm getting ahead of mys...