The depression is fine, but I'm not.

Somedays, I really feel I'm lacking creativity.  Today is one of them. 

Battling depression; a hell of a fight.  Bad depression. 

However, I had plans.  I got up, took my shower, did my God Time.  Ron's legs are about healed, thank God.  He has horrific scars. 

I did get him some Vitamin E, but I don't know if he's taking it.  I have found it works better to give him vitamins, encourage him to put a braille label, and then leave it up to him. 

We agree we want to get him some Milk Thistle.  I worry a little about having it shipped, in the heat - won't that ruin the vitamins?  Hm. 

Ron has been going on A LOT about current events, race wars, ignorance in today's society - and I just can't take it.  He's going on right now. 

On top of the depression.  I told Ron I just wasn't up for it tonight.  He suggested I get my whistle. I did, and blew it. 

I'm going to start wearing it now.  Ron doesn't realize how much his existential stuff drags me down and oppresses me.  He gets so angry when things are just going the way they will. 

"Race wars" - well, what did you think?  A lot of people are unhappy with the president.  If blacks and whites are at odds, then they won't impeach him, will they?  Something like that, you'd have to have unity - so the best way to protect oneself is to create division. 

I can say all this once and be done with it.  Ron has to share his version repeatedly, to me, with slight variations which of course make it different entirely.  And of course this is bothering me FAR more than usual because I'm battling a depression. 

We went to breakfast.  It appeared we would have some bad rides, one came very early, the other, very late.  I told Ron "I'd rather stay home than listen to you complain for an hour.  He said he wouldn't, but did. 

I told Ron when we go to the taqueria, we can take the wheelchair and use the bus each way.  Yes, I will have to push him half a mile each way, across a couple of busy streets, etc.  But it's better than the endless complaining - which I myself am guilty of at this moment. 

It was a good breakfast.  I had an iced tea with a lime in it. 

Then we went to Walmart.  I have been thinking about changing up the house a little.  I have a nice leafy-print sheet over my chair.  I spill things and I have puking, shedding cats.  I also have Ron. 

Covers are a requirement.  I can't afford those expensive covers and they would look odd because it is a contemporary styled, wood frame lineup (chair and loveseat).  I decided to get another leafy print twin sheet for the loveseat.  I did that. 

I have the computer room styled in red and cream, with a little wedgewood.  I was very drawn to the orange.  I got a flat orange sheet for the computer room, with black pillowcases.  It will look good with the other colors and brighten things up.  This is the darkest room in the house, bar the laundry room. 

I had a hives attack.  Very unpleasant.  I decided to avoid gluten for a while; and got some whole fat yogurt, stuff like that, to eat. 

Walmart had the good carts back, with the seat on the back.  I put Ron in the cart and we had a good time.  I pushed him around all over. 

Of course, now Ron is asking me if I can push him over to the beer and he put it in the cart.  Agh. 

Then I came home and took a nap.  Ron made a cutting remark about my need for sleep and then started yelling at God. 

I don't really follow the reasoning, but it goes like this "We could be perfectly happy except for God".  That God has inflicted our problems on us to make us, and each other, miserable... something along those lines.  So he yelled at me, and God. 

I just got my nap.