Nightmares

This might be triggering for some folk. 

Here's a good snapshot:  I laid down for a nap and fell asleep almost immediately.  I was tired.  I then proceeded to have a nightmare: I was being chased by a "shooter".  Other people and I fled in terror.  I managed to get to a safe room; but was raped as my "price" - safety for me and the others. 

I woke up feeling completely traumatized and violated.  That, you see, is a typical depression nightmare.  I have them pretty much every time I sleep.  I don't usually remember them; just that I didn't sleep well, a general "bad dreams" feeling, exhausted when I get up. 

One of my internet friends told me she wished she could have my manias; she doesn't realize I pay dearly. 

I woke up, exhausted and depressed.  A bad feature of the Depakote: I have a more typical depression where it's very hard to get started in the morning.  I realized I didn't have the energy for a shower, but my legs were scary.  I sat on the edge of the tub and shaved them, sponge bath, brushed my hair, and off to work. 

Work wasn't bad; I need more inventory.  That's good, but Ron's trying to save money for the Dr Pepper order (coming Friday).  So we have to sort that out. 

I never saw Shrek; but I did see "Mystery Men".  I loved the song "All Star" so I'm playing that on repeat right now.  I just feel so black and hopeless after that nightmare. 

I have medication for just about every symptom but nightmares.