The Normals don't sleep any better

I really dislike talking about the "psychotic" parts of my illness.  I don't want to have it, I don't want to think about it, and God knows I sure don't want to write about it.

And yet, many nights, I lie in bed, hearing noises that might or might not be there.  Ron is about 50% deaf, so it can be pretty useless to ask him.  I can't exactly go bang on a neighbor's door, "Excuse me, do you hear a muted banging noise?"  Sometimes it sounds like a car, with the loud boom-boom speakers, a ways off... and maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

This morning, when I opened the door, the "noise" went away.  Same with a few nights ago.  So, then I'm faced with Doc's advice to "take another antipsychotic".

I go into whining mode; I don't want to to take an antipsychotic.  I don't want to NEED one, much less TWO.  I want to go to bed and sleep every night like the "normal" people do.

And then I got on a message board, or Facebook, and it looks like the "normals" don't sleep any better.  A lot of them have painful and debilitating physical conditions that affect their sleep.  Many have anxiety issues.

And my "possible hallucinations" with moderate anxiety and insomnia, look pretty average.

As I lie in bed, I ask God to give me a decent quality of sleep; even if I don't get the hours.  And I always do.  I always have just enough to keep me going through the next day, and get my God Time, too.