During my last mania, I thought to myself "My depressions aren't so bad". Boy. Was I wrong.
A pretty horrible depression, ongoing. Turns out the kitten kept waking me up. What is it with creatures waking me up all night?
I put him outside, Bubba-cat had been objecting to his presence, also. Bubba got in my lap once, in January, when I was depressed. The little guy would be happy to live in my lap. They need to sort all that out before Junior moves in. In the meantime, I am feeding him and watering him. He seems very happy. I snuck out earlier and got a cuddle, but was caught in the act by Bubba, who protested.
Worst case, we will re-home him. He is such a charmer I don't see a problem getting him a "Forever Home".
After our pipe broke last week, I was obsessing about it and why us, would it happen again? God let me know, many different ways, "Heather, this happens during a severe drought and heatwave". Just today, I saw a broken pipe in our neighborhood, and one while riding through another. I am watering the foundation with a soaker hose, as suggested by my next-door-neighbor, the contractor. He's the one who turned off our water.
In the meantime, I'm just trying to live one hour at a time. I am maxed out on medication, maximum doses on everything.
I was thinking today, as I stocked our machines. I thought, "You know, whenever I had this level of depression before medication I was obsessed with Bad Thoughts. Now, at least, I don't think about harming myself. I 'only' feel hopeless depsair."
I know God can use this for good, if I just hang in there and take care of myself.
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