Has a problem

This is going to sound terrible: I wish Ron would hit bottom already and stop drinking.  Or, at the very least, ACCEPT he HAS A PROBLEM. 

Yesterday was OK.  We got up, went to the warehouse, got supplies for work, stocked them, did the pull, I got paid, went home.  I even got a nap, which came in handy later. 

I also started my cycle.  Whoo.  Killer Kramps.  I told Ron, it is funny, I am so consistent now.  From my recollection, before my diagnosis my cycle wavered a lot.  Now, it is very regular and consistent.  Interesting. 

Ron is worried about some financial things, but insists he does not want me getting another job.  I think it is the old-fashioned "I want to be the provider" thinking. 

I went to bed pretty early, but Ron kept waking me up.  Another blackout.  He likes to eat a lot when he is having a blackout.  He fixed himself 3 cup of noodles, and a TV dinner last night.  The smell of the food woke me up, (and the racket), and I actually got up and took some tylenol for the cramps.  I figured, well, in that regard he did my a favor because they were pretty bad. 

This morning, I woke up.  Ron was lying in bed.  I sat down next to him and he started talking, asking me to fix him some breakfast.  Sure, why not?  Yelling at him just plays into the whole "alcoholic" game. 

I fixed the food, brought it to him, and he ate.  We chatted off and on for a couple of hours. 

I had planned to make a day out, but a loose, vicious, dog kind of put the brakes on that.  I am not going out with a vicious dog running around.  It seemed to be running wild.  Probably a "pet" that got out.  Hurry up and catch it, already, and confine it more securely. 

About this time Ron says "I was OK with it this morning, but you need to stop waking me up.  I didn't appreciate you waking me up to feed me."  WHAT? 

I told him, Ron, you asked me to cook for you.  "Well, I don't remember that.  My sleep is very important to me.  You need to respect that." 

You can imagine how I reacted, having just had MY sleep disrespected half the nights of the week, just this week.  I called him a hypocrite. 

He said it wasn't his fault, he "had a leg cramp and had to drink some vodka to make it go away".  He "wasn't responsible" for it.  I told him, then I wouldn't be "responsible" for waking him up, in fact, maybe if he kept me up the night before, I would wake up up repeatedly the next day! 

I wouldn't do that, but I won't dismiss the concept, either.   I may have to do just that.  Stupid. 

He then came up with a great idea.  If he is having a blackout, I need to get out of bed, stand "very far away" (see October 2007 for THAT reason), and loudly tell him he is having a blackout and order him back to bed.  I told him, Ron, I am not responsible for your drinking.  YOU need to be responsible for your drinking.  It is not my job to help you manage the drinking, it is your job. 

He got very upset because "I won't help him".  I think AA would agree, that is not "help" at all.  It's blame shifting. 

AAAGH.  I just wish he would "fall" as he puts it, realize the depth of his problem, and seek help.  This "I am in denial and I don't have a problem" makes it very hard to respect him.