Some thoughts on FAS

My opinion only:

• If you are a fertile woman, take birth control or don't drink; if you are sexually active. 
• FAS is completely preventable. 
• FAS kids are very difficult to raise, and often NEVER leave home. 
• FAS victims do not get the sympathy and understanding given to other disablities.  We are condemned to a lifetime of misunderstanding, hypocritical judgements, being told we are "fine", and that we just need to "try harder".  You would not say that to a paralyzed person. 
• 1/3 of us are bipolar.  Watch for the signs in your loved one, and get them to a psychiatrist if they start having major mood swings. 
• Beat it into our heads: you cannot drink.  Ever.  You cannot drink.  Ever.  We have horrendous addiction rates, beware anti-anxiety drugs and narcotics as well.  My adoptive mother did this and gets tremendous credit. 
• People get very upset about the whole term 'Fetal Alcohol Syndrome".  Generally women who have children; perhaps they drank while pregnant.  You might find the general phrase "brain damage" to be better.  I also emphasize my birth mother "Drank a lot" while pregnant. 
• Binge drinking is very, very, bad for a developing baby.  No alcohol is best, but please don't binge drink. 
• Damage can and does occur in all 3 trimesters. 
• Get involved in a good faith community.  Truly godly people will be more tolerant and accepting of "differences", and the faith foundation will sustain your child through very hard times.
• We have very high rates of depression and attempted suicide. 
• Please, don't always focus on what we can't do.  Focus on our positive qualities, too.  We are very gregarious, friendly, loving, and creative.  We are often quite bright and talented. 
• Don't push us into learning to drive.  We may very well spend our entire life riding the bus.  We'll be fine. 
• We probably will always need some guidance; please understand we would like to take care of ourselves completely, but often cant. 
• If your FAS child is a daughter, focus on teaching abstinence, how to say no, how to spot predators, and if you believe in sex before marriage, at the VERY LEAST get some foolproof birth control. 
• You can never teach us enough about social skills, street smarts, boundaries, and how to make people like us.  Drills are great, and don't stop training. 
• We often have learning disabilities.  If we have trouble in school, get us tested and work with us to learn around our differences. 
• Don't be afraid to put us in Special Ed.  I got straight A's for the first time ever, when I was.  They are often more willing and able to work with our learning differences and give us the quiet, non-stimulating environment we crave. 
• We will always be delayed socially.  Gently correct us as we make blunders, and work on teaching us all those unwritten rules of communication. 
• We don't have common sense.  Teach us.  Even if it seems obvious to you, it has US baffled. 
• We often have "meltdowns" when we get overly stimulated.  Get us to a quiet place and let us calm down.