It bears repeating.

I posted this on a message board to a woman who wanted advice "Keep me from cheating on my diet!"

This was my reply. I like it so much I'm putting it here too (WOE means, way of eating which is preferable to the word diet).

"You are not a bad person because you are overweight. You made bad choices. Eating the way you have has made you unhappy and miserable.

Remind yourself of this: Yes, I could eat this but it will just make me unhappy in the long run. I will hate myself, feel bad physically, and get even heavier. I deserve to eat something helpful instead.

You have to look at why you are doing it as well. To fit into those jeans? To get someone (Dr, husband, freind) off your back? Because you don't want to shop in the women's department (anymore?). There aren't any bad reasons to start, just remember the main one. You should remember first and foremost, you are doing this for your health. If you set deadlines, if you see yourself as a bad person, if you do it for someone else, I don't think you'll do as well.

I take the approach: I'm doing this because I want a healthy active life. To be brutally honest, I don't want to end up like my mother-in-law. I want a good quality of life. If I started because my parents are coming to visit, because my husband is complaining about my figure, or I'm tired of wearing those jeans I don't think I would be doing half as well as I am now. I do it for me. My health. How fast I lose is irrelevant as long as I am eating clean (no cheats), staying active, and drinking my water.

I am far, far, less tempted to cheat now than I was the last time when I had an unreasonable goal and did it because I wanted to look hot. I have to ride the paratransit service (for people who are too disabled to ride the regular bus). I see what will happen to me if I don't take care of myself. It'll be me in that extra-wide electric scooter, gasping for breath, unable to take 2 steps on my own. I'll be so fat I won't even be able to fit into some of the vehicles. I'll lose one limb at a time and my kidneys will go. I may go blind from diabetes. I'll spend all my time going to the doctor and no time on the things that bring me joy.

The only thing I have to do to prevent that future is to stick with my WOE. It's easy for me when I think this way. Of course you will be tempted. But you shouldn't be doing this to "be skinny". "Skinny" is a lot of hard work for what? Some construction workers to stare at you? A label on a pair of jeans? Remind yourself you are doing it for your health. Sometimes I use vivid images: The cupcakes are full of broken glass, etc. I'm in vending , one of the absolute worst jobs for cheating. I have to pick up, touch, smell, and see all the bad foods I love. I have to put them down and say "NO" too. Generally, after I do so, I see a massively obese person walking by, eating a candy bar."

I know I will do very well because I have the proper attitude. It doesn't matter how fast I lose, as long as I'm improving myself.