They put out a bunch of "free" pride stuff in the break room

 Doesn't mean I have to take it.  

Someone asked why I didn't and I said "Against my religion".  They didn't pry.

Difficult boss has been right there all day.  It has been exhausting.

Good news I don't have long when I get back.  

Well that was a first

 One of my bus stops is at a location with no shelter, just a pole by the side of the road, a detention pond, and some fenced off warehouses.  I was at this stop when the severe weather hit.  

I had placed my cell phone on a ziplock and my wallet in another.  So they were OK.  Fitbit is still working.  The wind and rain were buffeting me as I donned my purple poncho, which only provided minimal protection.  

I was out in that for about 15 minutes until the bus came.  As I journeyed to work, my third bus ran into something and broke off his rear view mirror, which meant he had to file an accident report and take it out of service.  So I had to take a fourth bus!  Then walk across the Walmart parking lot.  

I am pretty well drenched but I'm here.  And I'll get off at 7.  

That's it for now!  

I really hope I don't catch it

There was a very flushed, sick looking, white man on my last bus.  He said he had a headache, but I have never gotten flushed when I have a headache.  If anything, I get pale.  I hope I do not catch it, whatever it is.

But I'm here now.  

I had a very mild headache this morning.  I get one whenever I eat the puffed wheat cereal I like so much.  I took my blood pressure pill just now because I won't be home until later tonight.

I forgot why I wanted to make a sandwich today so I don't know what I'm doing for lunch.  I'll figure it out.

The cats were adorable today.  I got beautiful snuggles from each of them.  I don't always get that every day.  I never pick them up I don't believe in forcing my will on a cat unless they are sick or hurt and need a vet or medication.  But they got on me for petting, purrs, and cuddles which was lovely.

They get on so well and that delights me too.  Baby Girl and Torbie never got along and I always blamed Ron for that.  Baby Girl walked in the room, Ron had Torbie in his lap petting her and giving her treats.  Baby Girl objected and who could blame her?  

Biscuit basically invited Cleo and Spotty to live with him and that has worked beautifully.

My migraine prevention herbs came last night.  My blood pressure pill is working so well I don't need them.  I have a young woman coworker who gets migraines I am going to give her a bottle and see if they work.  

I didn't know how bad the headaches were until they stopped.  I love this stuff (propranolol) and no real side effects.  

That's it for now.  

There was a movie in the 90's

 "Clerks" one feature of the film the clerks were talking back to the customers.  One of my friends did that.  It was extremely, extremely, funny.  

I hope she doesn't get fired.  

I wish I could share more but it would identify my job.  

Btw Clerks is not a movie for a nice Christian lady some of the dialogue covered graphic sex acts.  

But the talking back scenes were funny.  

That was a pretty bad storm

 It hit when I was on my.lunch at work and the hail was particularly bad.  It was bad enough I started (silently) praying in the break room.  

We have a bad ass generator at work but even that had a few power hiccups.  I figured I probably didn't have power at home.  

I was right.  When I got home (paid for a ride) the house and cats were OK but the house was dark.  Power came back after about half an hour.

That wasn't bad, I felt.  I had a quiet night.  Power went off again sometime in the middle of the night but came right back.  

More weather predicted today so I am leaving the electronics unplugged today, too.  

I just hope that street light I need is working!  

Edit: street light working, Husky House fence secure.  My first driver said he was driving when the storm hit and it was crazy - wind and rain coming sideways, hail hitting the bus.  But he kept going!

Internet is down at home

 I just got a text from my ISP.  

I suspect power is out too.  I wonder what else I will find.  

Severe weather again

 Wind and heavy rain.  Now hail.  Sounds bad.  

Please protect my home Lord.  

"You don't want to go to work anyway"

 The bus system was pretty profoundly affected by the storms 2 weeks ago.  It has affected my daily commute, adding an extra hour or two every day.

So today finds me at the transit center, much later than usual.  I do my usual thing finding bus drivers and giving them candy.  

The downtown bus stopped when he saw what I was doing, I got on and said "I'm not riding, baby, I just want to give you this!". 

"Why not ride?  He asked "You don't really want to go to work, do you?". I laughed so hard I almost fell and said "Maybe if you were going to the airport but I don't want to go downtown!". He laughed too, put his candy away, I got off and he drove away. 

New photo, taken yesterday

 

It is hopping today

 Which is good, sales equal pay.  No sales, they close the store.

So I have been earning my keep.  The challenging boss is off today.  

But I'm the kind of employee you don't need to hover.  I will do it regardless of who's present.  

I know a lot of people don't believe me about the bus

 Yes, it really is that bad.  This morning I got a photo of poop in a seat.  I will not put that online.  I don't think Blogger would let me, anyway.  

I may send it to customer service in an email though.  "This is why you can't get nice people to ride the bus!"

The mosquitoes were eating me alive at the bus stops.  I will need to apply some repellent tomorrow.

Since it is a holiday schedule I had different times and drivers and spent about an hour outside.  That wasn't bad but my longest ride the driver was new to the route and had a very jerky driving style that made me queasy.  

But I'm here.  I am wearing white sneakers and jeans, red t shirt and my blue vest.  I think it is cute I will try to rope someone into taking a photo.

I only work until 4 so hopefully I will get home before the drunk drivers emerge.  That's it for now!  

Now I am asking for opinions

 Ok you have all heard about the in laws.  I won't revisit our history.  

My understanding Alzheimer's is very genetic and if you have the gene you WILL get it (they recently found that in a study).  

I've had time to think about the fact Ron had Alzheimer's and have concluded (he was definitively diagnosed on autopsy) it was likely genetic as both his parents had it.  

My dilemma: do I try to contact his surviving family and warn them?  MIL, FIL had it, your brother/uncle had it, you probably will too, have a nice day.  

On the one hand I would never do genetic testing on myself.  I plan to live like I am dying.  I think that would be a terrible burden to put on someone.  

Example: my birth mother and her mother both had breast cancer.  I don't want to find out if I have the BRCA gene or not.  

And, for BIL and SIL it is probably too late anyway as they are in their 70's and likely symptomatic.  But Ron's nephews (3 of them) and great-nephews (4 of them) and one great-great-nephew, might need to know so they can get some long term care insurance.  If my whole family was ridden with such an awful genetic disease it might be good to know.  For instance, I would remain single.  

If I ever meet someone and it gets serious I will get tested just so he knows what he is signing up for.  Not everyone is a Heather and will stick around.  

Ron's family is the sort that sticks you in some hellhole Medicaid facility when things get rough.  Maybe it's better not to know.  

I am on the fence on this I could go either way.  

Opinions?  

I figured it out

 The game my stalker is playing.  I was only trying to help

Ron was a big fan of Transactional Analysis and used to to justify some pretty terrible things; but it can provide good insight.  

Heather writes a blog about caring for Ron.  Stalker posts a comment with hostile and unwanted advice, is rebuffed.  Stalker "I was only trying to help!" which has been said several times in several different ways.  

IF I NEED HELP I WILL ASK FOR IT.  I WILL TITLE THE BLOG "I AM ASKING FOR HELP".  I WILL BE VERY CLEAR.  

In the meantime I am just sharing my life, I'm not asking for "fixes".  Overall I think I have a pretty good life.  

That's it for now.  

A trip to the grocery store

 I slept about 7 hours last night.  

I got up and did my God Time, decided I wanted to get to the store quick because it was going to be nuts with the holiday.  (And it was)

The store is very good (unlike mine) at having nearly every, if not all, registers open when I'm there.  They did today as well and there were only 2-3 people in each line so I felt like I made the right call.  

I got some salad mix, candy and bags for handouts, etc.  I got some 50 cent chicken hot dogs and some cheap hot dog buns I will bring to work on Monday.  I think that will be fun.  Cost, about $5.  

I went out to the bus stop and there was a homeless woman there, wearing a trench coat (it was 90 degrees and very humid), filthy, matted hair hadn't been washed or brushed in a while, muttering nonsense completely out of her head.  She unfortunately witnessed me giving the bus driver a snack so she followed me on the bus, and got off when I did.  

The homeless woman sat down on the bench at my home base bus stop, muttering nonsense.  I decided to "play my music on headphones" which is a ploy I use if someone else gets off my bus at my home base.  If they stand around watching me, I know I have a problem.  Anyone who is not a threat is going to move on well in front of me while I'm fiddling.  

I got my music going and she was just sitting there.  I decided to hustle out of there, pushing my hand cart, and see if she followed me.  She didn't seem able to move very fast but was acting erratically enough I considered her a threat.  She did not follow me but I kept checking.  

I decided that is just going to be my standard policy from now on, to check behind me every block or so walking home.  I got pretty dizzy but I didn't want to slow down if she was behind me.  

I got home and sat down for about 10 minutes.  Then I put the groceries away and cleaned out the fridge, took a nap.  

I need to get smarter about cleaning out the fridge before I go shopping, but I've done it this way for 30 years.  

Then I took a nap.  I woke up with a mild headache (I often do if I take a nap, for some reason).  I took some aspirin and that did the trick.  

I hunted all over the house looking for the blood pressure cuff but I can't find it.  It's here, somewhere, I wouldn't have thrown it away.  I just don't know where I put it.  My Dad used to call it "a safe place".  

I did the laundry; well the wash part.  I will run the dryer in the early morning or late at night if I wake up.  

That's it for now!  

I found this vastly embarrassing

 I have had a lot to say about people who don't pay to ride the bus, mainly because many of them are wearing the designer jeans and shoes (the men) carrying a $1000 cell phone, the women have the $300 hair and the $100 nails - but no one cares to budget a dollar to pay for their ride.  I have a lot of disdain for someone like that.  

So you can imagine my horror yesterday about 10:30 when the bus pulled up at my home base bus stop, I reached for my pass, and it was not around my neck.  I had the candy in my hand so I gave it to the driver and I said "I can't ride, I left my pass at home" (I knew immediately it was on the kitchen table) "I will have to go back for it".  

She laughed and told me to get on.  Really NOT wanting to walk a half an hour home and back, I complied.  I had to tell each of my 3 drivers I was sorry, I didn't have the pass, but I did remember their candy.  They all laughed and waved me onboard.  

It was humiliating, but the drivers found it hysterical.  

I'm glad I could make them laugh!  

So far, so good

 I feel fine.  I had a little transient dizziness but that passed.  My head feels GREAT.  My tremor is about the same but I was always able to work around it.  

Interestingly enough I am not as thirsty as usual.  

Made it to lunch.  Told all the gossips I was out because I had a migraine due to high blood pressure, but I have medication now.  That will go to the right people.  

Work is busy as you would expect on a holiday weekend.  

I got the meds

 20 mg twice a day pharmacist advised with food.  So I had one with lunch.  

Headache is better!  And I am only a little dizzy.  

I start in half an hour.  

I slept a little better last night

 Still no cats.  I have a box fan pointing at the foot of the bed I guess they really hate it?  They will sleep in the bed with the fan off.  

I have the thermostat at 85 so I need the fan at night.  But I didn't have them all week when I was sick.  Spotty would pop out when I got up and beg for food, Cleo said Hi last night and left, I see Biscuit around but not in the bed.  I am a little disappointed.  

Dad told me he is taking the same beta blocker so I think I am on the right track.  I think he feels vindicated nagging me into seeing a doctor - and he was very adamant about it.  He wants me to buy myself the basic Chromebook today and he will send me the money for it.  He was horrified I was using an old computer.  

It is interesting he is so generous now.  I remember asking him for some money for clothes to interview in the early/mid 90's and he said no, he couldn't support me in any way because I wasn't married to Ron.  That was the last time I asked.  

He volunteered to pay some bills when Ron got hurt and the pipe broke in 2019.  I think he sent some money when Ron died but I didn't ask.  So this is a surprise.  

I did talk him out of buying me a new printer and he just got me an ink cartridge for the one I have, which works fine.  

I think I will have to sic the pharmacy on the doctor today for my medication.  I want to get it today so I can try it out this weekend.  

I am not really surprised blood pressure is an issue because both my parents (I verified with Dad) had issues.  My mother's was apparently very bad and led to her fatal heart attack in her 50's.  

Work is only 6 hours tonight so not too worried about it.  I wonder what kind of reception I will get.  I will hear a lot of told you so's because most of my crew (including supervisors) felt my headaches were linked to high blood pressure.  

Ride with me here, if you will

 I have a condition which I think I manage pretty well.  I don't drink, drug, party, I go to bed early every night and take naps and sleep in when I can.  I get enough protein and watch my caffeine.  

When Ron was sick, with his parents, I see this with my parents, aunt and uncle as well, there's this revolving door of medical appointments, prescriptions, tests, etc.  That is fine for them because they either could afford the time off or they didn't work.  

I work; that's an issue.  I feel like my doctor wants to get me on this merry go round.  "Come back in 2 weeks".  "I need at least 3"  "No it has to be 2".  

Sigh.  I need at least 3 weeks to put in a time off request so they can arrange coverage.  If not, I have to call out/in whatever you want to say and then I get a point on my attendance.  

I don't like some of the comments I get but one had a point.  So I went to the internet looking for herbal supplements.  I have gone through phases of bad migraines for a while in the past, probably in part due to variable hormone levels as I approach menopause.  In the past, Butterbur and Feverfew (taken separately) have been helpful in PREVENTING headaches, taken daily.  

I looked at Amazon, I looked at Walmart.  I have plans with both of them; my Walmart plan is free and I do use it (Walmart plus the value is about $120 a year, it works for me and best for them it gets me yakking to the customers how great it is).  They had it, for $10 a bottle.  

That's a little steep.  

So I went direct to Swanson.  They had it for $3-4 a bottle and I know they make good stuff; they are GMP certified and all that.  

My Dad has been saying I have to buy a new computer because Windows 7 is "too old' and that was proven at the checkout when it found me clicking again and again and getting a blank screen.  I took it to God I was pretty upset and was reminded I DO have a cell phone.  So I used the phone to order the herbs.  I got 4 day shipping too.  I figure the beta blockers + the herbs ought to whack the headaches at least until I am in full menopause, in half a year or so.  

I hope it does the job.  Like I told the Medical Assistant and the doctor, these headaches have been escalating this year.  I need to work.  

Blood pressure was a little high 140/80

 Doc is putting me on beta blockers: will help with the tremors, headache prevention, and blood pressure.  

Waiting to get my blood test.  Hungry.  

Sometimes I daydream about having a day off to stay in bed...

 I woke up today and still had the migraine.  Which had escalated.  

I managed to get myself in the shower but realized I was in no shape for work.  I called out.  

I have been - I don't think words can convey this - EXTREMELY reluctant to get any sort of medical care for myself for a very long time.  My experience with Ron has left me for a deep aversion to doctors.  Now some doctors were able to help him and in 2003 they saved his life, but I just DON'T want to go.  

I think that is why God is allowing this migraine to beat me down.  I don't have a choice, I can't live like this.  This is day 3 of the migraine.  

I spent the day curled up in a ball.  Around 3 I felt well enough to eat some plain Fritos (store brand) which have settled nicely.  

But I feel utterly terrible.  

This also works on the pride, too....

I would have rather been well and gone to work, even though I still wouldn't be home by now.  

I have had a brutal migraine

 The last couple days.  I am most of the way home; the crazy train was horrible as always.  

I just want to curl up in a ball in a dark room but I have a while to go.  

I can't talk about 99%of my work day

 But I will say I am glad I am on good terms with the custodian.  When I clocked out I went to the bathroom.  One stall was very, very, bad.  

I will not elaborate.  I saw the custodian and told him, nicely, in Spanish that the bathroom was "muy Malo".  He said OK and teased me a little.  

My head is pretty bad but I can work.  I will only have an hour when I get back from the zone.  

Metro bus has been running late getting me home.  Hopefully not too late today.  

I have had a bad headache

 Yesterday and today.  I seem to have beaten it back with some lemon cake (works as well as the lemon pie and we sell it by the slice) and a cold diet dew.  

I have a doctor's appointment Thursday Dad has been really agitated about that.  I think he wants to make sure I am "set".  He has had some serious health issues lately; he's over 80, I think he wants to make sure I will be OK when he's gone.

Anyway if I'm calling out Thursday I can't call out today too.  

But I think I will be OK as long as I'm not exposed to any strong odors.  

That's it for now.  

I almost forgot

The night shift came in, heard I brought treats, and that the manager had chastised me for it and made me take them away.  "Heather" they said "Bring them back after you clock out.  They can't say anything if you're off the clock."  That sounded like a FINE idea to me and I did just that, and you should have seen the feeding frenzy as Team Leads and associates dove in and grabbed treats.  

I left, a long ride home.  The first bus seems to be delayed due to the weather crisis, which means I miss my second bus.  

I was also working on a migraine but I managed to get home OK.  

Now, Ron as a manager.  A few highlights.  We had a deli with two employees.  

One time a customer came to Ron and said "Your one employee wears clothes that are too tight, and a shirt that does not cover her belly.  When I get my lunch I walk in and get a look at her belly"  (She had 5 kids so you can imagine) "And I lose my appetite.  Can you make her cover it up?  It's disgusting."  

Ron got in the cash box, went in the deli, and had me cover for her.  They went out and sat down for a while.  I saw Ron talking earnestly and heard her laughing.  

He had to tell her she was too fat for the clothes she was wearing, that the sight of her made the customers lose their appetite, and had her laughing about it.  Then he gave her $100 and explained what kind of clothes he wanted her to buy.  The next day she showed up in appropriate attire and we never had an issue again.  

Another time we found out the other girl wasn't wearing the hairnet.  That's a big no no for food service.  He reached a compromise with her, that she would wear a blonde hair net instead.  Problem solved.  Had he pulled rank we would have lost her - she was ready to walk out over it.  

He was always telling us (I was also an employee) to sit down and get off our feet.  I often think of that at work.  He would say the work could wait for a minute but it was important to care for our feet.  

Today I had 2 high ranking managers shouting at me over nothing.  Both times my direct manager said I had done nothing wrong.  

I couldn't help but compare them to Ron.  When the girls found out about the accident, they wept for him.  

So I brought snacks

 For my team.  They were very popular.  I can't say why but I thought it would be a good idea.  

The store manager did not.  They have been shouting a lot at subordinates so I have avoided them.  They came by my work area and saw the snacks.  I offered them a snack!  

And they got on the radio after they left, shouting at my manager I had to get rid of the snacks.  It was 2 brown paper bags with pastry and an assortment of (other) store brand chips, a few honey buns, and a banana for the healthy eater who is off today.  

The Muslim lady was not interested in the marranillo pig shaped pastry.  I didn't think about that, but she did take a conchas.  I had a marranillo on my break and it was delicious and very fresh.  I felt good about handing them out.  

Mom and Dad bought my groceries which included the chips, I bought the pastries which were only $10.  And I won't do that for a long time.  

Work itself hasn't been bad.  I feel a need, though, to do a blog on Ron as a manager.  He was a terrible husband at times but an excellent manager.  Usually.  I'm going to focus on him managing others not me.  

That's it for now!  

This is going to be a little long.

 So I used to like the police, I saw them there to serve and protect.  

2003, we lived in a terrible neighborhood known for drug dealing and criminal activity.  That address was on Ron's ID card next to his Postal ID badge.  

He had 2K cash in his backpack when he was run over; we had to pay the rent that day (it was late) and we also had to pay a supplier for an order of about $1,300.  The supplier didn't want personal checks so Ron paid cash.  

As you know, the driver who ran over Ron was talking on a cell phone at the time and had run the red light while Ron was crossing the street, (he was going east and Ron was going south), striking Ron on his right side, flipping him up on the hood of the car, the backpack got caught on the rearview and Ron was dragged hanging off the side of the vehicle for about a block and a half, which is why he had the scar on his head and road rash all over his hands, legs, and feet.  

The truck was totaled; he had to stop.  He called 911 (that's a call I hope I never hear) and they dispatched an ambulance.  Ron was DOA but the paramedic, who I met later, revived him (he later said Ron's was the worst accident he ever saw in his career) and his partner called the life flight (helicopter) to take Ron to the trauma center.  You all know what happened after that.  

The next day at the trauma center - I had been up over 24 hours straight at this point - the officer walks in, asks me how Ron walked to work, I told him.  He said no Ron was going north.  I said that is impossible if Ron was going north and the truck traveling east he would have been hit on his left side.  The officer then told me the accident was my fault because I let Ron out of this house unattended. 

Ron had been traveling, at that point, on his own for over 30 years and I told the officer that.   

I asked about the backpack (after all, I still had to pay the rent) and he handed it to me.  It was empty.  I asked who had access to it and he said he took it off Ron after the accident.  

I will let you make your own conclusion.  

I asked if the driver had been charged and he said no, the light was green.  

The driver himself had called me at the hospital that morning, asking about Ron and blubbering how sorry he was that he ran the red light, he was "in a hurry".  I said that  The officer got very ugly and abrupt and said the driver would not be charged, said again the accident was "my fault after all" and left.  

It took a minute for that to sink in and it's a good thing because I probably would have assaulted him.  Remember I was not medicated at the time.  

I didn't have a really high view of the police after that; although a drunken Ron once sicced the mental health crisis intervention team on us one time during one of his blackouts (he called 911 and said his bipolar wife was abusing him).  They came out, told him to stop drinking.  

Ron, to the female officer "Shut up bitch" she just shook her head and looked at me with deep pity.  That night I went to my aunt and uncle's.  

So I had a little better view after that they were pretty awesome.  God forbid I ever lose it one day I hope they come.  

Today Mom, Dad, and I went to church.  Dad is almost 83 and has had congestive heart failure and pneumonia in the last 6 months.  He does not move very fast, is stooped over and slow, tentative in the way he walks.  He is unsteady.  

My church has a couple of hired police officers in uniform who stand guard during services.  I am friendly with them and like to give them candy.  

Dad was walking into church and took a header on the sidewalk.  He was wearing cargo shorts and was laying on the ground, shocked and bleeding.  I was freaking out yelling "Dad!  Dad!" and Mom was yelling his name.  The officer came over, took one look, crouched down behind Dad and asked if he was OK.  Dad said he thought so (blood everywhere but he's on a blood thinner for his heart)  He asked Dad if he felt like getting up and Dad said yes, he put his arms around Dad's chest and BAM on his feet.  

A lady brought a first aid kit and I patched him up.  I wasn't worried about contact with Dad's blood.  Later on when we got to the house I did a better job.  

And the officer was watching us fuss over Dad with a kindly smile on his face.  And I realized all my resentment about the officer in 2003 is over and I really LIKE the police again.  

Dad wanted to ride the crazy train

 I tried to talk him out of it but that's where I get my stubborn.  He wanted an "authentic ride to work" experience.  

• Bus was an hour late
• 2 guys talking conspiracy theories at the bus stop
• Skinhead at bus stop and on bus
• Guy smoking something that wasn't tobacco and didn't smell like weed.  
• Mentally ill woman bothering us at bus stop and all the way to Walmart
• Fight on the bus within 30 seconds of it opening the door.  

I sat Dad by a window and sat in the aisle seat, and I had my hand on my knife in my pocket.  

• Homeless people on bus with a huge, unleashed, German shepherd.  (We went out the back door)
• Bus packed  

He asked if it was a pretty typical ride and I said yes.  

That was an interesting trip to work.

 I always leave the house 4 hours before my shift starts, because I've had "problems" getting to work; an old lady falls on the bus, some guy goes off on the driver and has to be thrown off, traffic accident causes delays, street lights are out, etc.  Sometimes the bus breaks down.  

We had severe weather Thursday night if you haven't seen it.  Everything looked OK getting home but I wasn't sure about getting to work yesterday.  

I had a couple of concerns; there are some mean dogs in my neighborhood (usually behind a fence).  Had any of those fences blown down and were the dogs out, and going to come after me?  

Was the traffic light out where I cross the street?  

Were the buses running the route and would they be delayed?  

Would we have route delays due to down traffic lights or debris?  

Walking to the bus stop I saw the Husky House fence was down, but I didn't see the dog praise God.  Hopefully they will fix that quickly.  

The traffic light was not out where I cross, but about half the lights were out on the way.  

The buses were running the route but had significant delays.  I was told downtown was a mess and they advised me to warn my parents to stay out.  

It normally takes me about 1 hour 45 minutes to get to work it took me 3 hours yesterday, I was glad I left early.  

I got to work and started.  My one boss was off yesterday so that was a little weight off.  Work was OK, it was busy.  

Mom and Dad texted me around 8 that they were in the store, I got off at 9.  I showed them around a little.  I encouraged them to get some drinks for the hotel room (Caffeine Free Diet Coke) and they did.  

We were going to go out to a restaurant but the whole area was without power, so we went to a McDonald's near my house instead and got something through the drive through.  

Dad is not a fan of cats so he sat on the porch.  Mom came in, said hi to Biscuit who approached her a few times and let her pet him.  He is getting much more cuddly with visitors.  

They left, I went to bed.  I slept about 4 hours and woke up.  

I could tell I wasn't going back to sleep.  I went in the kitchen and heard something alive in there.  I told it to "stay" and turned on the light, a Mockingbird was on the counter, flapped it's wings at me, and chirped.  

The cats brought it in through the cat door.  I chased it around for a while (cats were thrilled), caught it, and put it out (much to their disappointment).  It is always funny when I catch a bird in the house and take it out, there is that moment where it doesn't know it's outside and them suddenly it flies off!  Vaya con Dios little birdie!  

I am going to try to go back to bed.  

I am OK

 It was really busy at work.  

The bad weather hit right before quitting time and persisted after... it was really bad.  The stockroom had some flooding issues.  I could hear the wind... 

I got a severe thunderstorm warning, and a tornado warning right before Ace called.  I asked "Are you safe?"  He said "I can't drive in this, I'm sorry Heather..." I told him to BE SAFE that was job #1.  

Then I got a text from Metro bus (not that I was going to ride the bus in that weather) that they were cancelling all bus service.  

I arranged a ride home at midnight... then Ace called back about half an hour later, said it had passed, he could do it.  

Ay yi yi.  

Downgraded to pest

 "Stalker" is a very loaded term in my family as we have had 2 wife beating boyfriend,/husbands, one workplace shooter, and a demented mailman who stalked my family after my teenage brother bumped into him one day.  

Mom loves to take photos and is world class.  She will want to take work photos.  

Instead of saying "I have a stalker on my blog who possibly follows me on Facebook". I am going to refer to said person as a "pest" so as not to freak out my parents.  

I like it better, anyway.

2019

 Is when I realized Ron had a serious neurological problem.  

His old computer died.  He begged the tech for a computer running Windows 7; he didn't want to learn a new OS.  He wasn't online so it didn't matter.  We spent the whole day with the computer guy loading the latest version of JAWS screen reading software.  And Ron couldn't figure it out.  He had me do all the accounting after that.  

That's when I first had the sinking feeling.  

His "new" computer sat off to the side for years until my reconditioned Windows 10 died.  I didn't see the point of getting a new computer if I had a working model in the house.  So I've been using that maybe 2 years?  

AOL email is apparently not working with Windows 7 anymore.  So that's an issue.  My aunt told my Dad- who lived in Silicon valley for 20 years, what I was using, he was horrified and wants to get me something new.  

We will see.  I am just happy I can blog from the phone.  

The plug in was a bad idea last night.  I have a dreadful headache.

Other than that I'm fine.  My one driver is so surly I just love her to bits.  She has seen it all and is SICK of your crap!  That poor woman I hope she gets another route next time.  

I called in a compliment a while back but she will probably never hear it.  

I had to work overtime yesterday

 But it got me good will with the bosses and co workers.  I volunteered.  

I was so tired I overslept and woke up at 4 instead of 3.  I had to catch the later bus but I'm still early.  

I am caffeinated and ate my favorite lemon pound cake slice.  My stomach is a little iffy.

Metro bus sent me a survey.  Is Metro clean?  Safe?  I gave them a hard fail.  If I have time tonight I will put up a link to the post where I got mugged at my home base bus stop back in 2009.  It was late December if you want to look it up.  

I also indicated I would be willing to talk to someone so I may get a phone call.  I will be happy to tell them how AWFUL it is sidestepping feces and gacked out homeless harassing me.  

Someone called in sick as well so this may be interesting today.  

I'm going to talk about the thing we don't talk about

 5 years ago Mama Cat showed up at my door pregnant, with 2 half grown kittens.  

I had her spayed anyway, which of course ended the pregnancy.  I still feel terrible about it and Mama Cat was very depressed.  

The stray my aunt feeds is pregnant and they are looking into options.  If the kittens are born I will work to find good homes for them.  

Orange lives matter!  

Poor Mama Cat.  

Edit: my "Orange Lives Matter" campaign worked.  Orange kitty gets to have her babies and I will help rehome.  

I have no idea

 I go out every day.  I witness, I pray, I do my best to shine God's light in dark places. I share how He helps me in this blog.  I hand out Bibles, tracts, Scripture Booklets by the thousands.  

I have no idea what kind of impact it makes.  God is doing the work.

But I think, when I see the result, I'll cry.  

My boss is here

 I saw her.  Yesterday she was telling the other team lead to come in at 7, I guess she didn't.  

Going to make it a good one!  

A lot of fog out there

 But happily not for my first 2 rides when I'm standing in the pitch black ass end of nowhere all by myself.  

My second driver was asking some good questions about the End Times.  

My third ride I had the nice driver.  Yesterday's driver was surly at best and nearly threw the candy back in my face.  But I did give it to her; that's my job.  It's up to her what she does with it.

At work now.  I don't know who's working.  I think something is up with my parents but they are hiding it.  I can tell when they're being evasive.  

That's it for now!  

My phone did an update

 Suddenly I didn't have any memory left.  I looked and it had downloaded a bunch of garbage apps like games, Pinterest, some other things I deleted.  If you really need to update my security or operating system I am fine with that but don't put a bunch of spam on my hard drive and say I need to delete my photos.  

So I cleaned that all out and the next thing I see it's downloading again and (censored) Pinterest is on my phone again.  So I deleted it again.  I am very stubborn.  

Work was OK but we had a nasty line of storms when I got off at 4.  I called Ace who came super quick.  I laid down when I got home but couldn't sleep, never got ahold of my parents, went to bed, got about 7 hours of sleep.  

And it's time to go to work!  

I am not impressed

 Two of my coworkers threw me under the bus today.  I didn't get in trouble but one said, when she got hired, they told her it was to help me.  So do it.  

I am doing my job.  

My phone decided to do an upgrade and I lost 2 megs in the process.  Not happy about that...

Severe weather is coming which may affect my ride home; we'll see.

I'm going to make it!  Listening to happy tunes on headphones.  

Still a little gurgling in my gut

 I hope it is a boring day.

Fitbit says I got 5 hours sleep, no wonder I am tired.  I am trying a little caffeine.  

I lost one of my handmade cell phone holders (Crochet, I made it).  It had my "good" $3 earphones.  I am using my backup pair which are rather tinny and only playing one track but I have my music.  

Assuredly, no one in the break room wants to hear my music!  

Egg on my face (Matthew 7:1)

 It was a pretty usual trip to work.  I told the drivers about my brother and the tornado that hit his place.  He and the pets were OK but his truck was totaled and Allstate is being a butt about it.  Lucky the black cat died of old age the next day so he has a lot of his plate.  I would love it if you'd pray for him.

On my third bus, I am seated and hear what sounds like a podcast.  I hear something about hope and prosperity and I'm thinking it's that Word of Faith name it and claim it crap.  I said to myself "I wish he'd turn that crap off" when, to my horror, I realized he was listening to the New Testament!  

SORRY LORD!  

Well I wasn't queasy when I woke up

 But it came back.  

TIRED of this.  

I did some cleaning and worked on the post mortem on my finances.  Dad is horrified I am using a computer that uses Windows 7 and wants to do something about it.  Well, pages load?  If he wants to get me something I will take it, though.  I'm not stupid but I will tell him it's my birthday present.  

I haven't finished the kitchen and bathroom, or done the floor, but I added up all my Walmart expenditure$ and they were a lot, I think that's the problem.  

The cats have been good.  

It was supposed to rain all day but we only got one shower, it will rain tomorrow on my way home from work, they say, and also on Thursday.  

I got some cute selfies with the cats

 

This is why we have problems keeping good people

 So today the team leads were angry with the girl who quit and blaming her for basically walking out 

They asked another good employee to stay late today.  She did.  Her adult daughter was supposed to pick her up at 3.  It was almost 4.  The employee said she was leaving and the team lead and her got into a shouting match - in front of a customer no less - and this is the "nice" team lead.

If you treat your people like that they will leave you.

I found a cute Mother's day card for Mom

 With cats.  I think she will like it a lot.  She doesn't need stuff but a card can be tucked away.  

I ate some Stax before work, I hope I don't regret it.  I really hope I can do the Bible Handout tomorrow.  

Graphic post warning

 OK I told you.  

So work was utterly nuts, not helped by the fact a good worker is leaving because she felt "disrespected" by the Team Lead.  

The way I see it the TL is kind of like a personal trainer, getting me to do impossible things I never dreamed I could do.  I approach it from that angle.  And, surprisingly, this week she has been very appreciative.  I am finally giving her what she wants, she seems happy, it takes a load off of her.  I like to be the invaluable right hand "I know Heather's got my back".  

But work was crazy, shoplifting customers, kids run wild tearing up displays, a frantic pace all night.  I was happy to get out of there BUT the boss was very pleased with me when I left.  Good.  I want to be the reliable right hand "I know Heather's going to get it done".  I think I shine more in an assistant role than a lead role, I did for Ron.  

So I got home, I'm tired, I need to take my pills.  I was not hungry.  I decided to have some generic brand pop tarts.  I ate the brown sugar ones (It's a variety pack), took my pills.  

I felt a gurgling in my belly and thought I had better run down the hall.  I didn't make it.  It was spectacularly awful.  All down the hall, the bathroom, me, it was so bad the cats came out of the bedroom to look, took one look, and went back in the bedroom.  It took me forever to clean up.  

Apparently, I am not over the food poisoning.  That was just a horrible end to a hard day let me tell you.  I left the house at 7:45, didn't get home until 9, didn't go to bed until 10.  

I also got some bad financial news I am going to be working on my budget today.  I didn't sleep well, I had nightmares about the money problems.  

That's it for now.  

Work was insane

 Boss was happy though.  I only got 3 hours sleep last night, too.  

Here's to hoping tonight is better.  

The crazy train was pretty crowded

 Smart women riding that bus sit in the forward facing seats (2 seats wide on either side of the aisle) and put their bag in the other seat.  So did an older lady sitting across the way from me.

A young man got on.  He was healthy and clearly manic.  As is my policy I did not move my bag.  The last time I did that - for a clean cut and otherwise normal looking white guy - he began baby talking and put his hand (quite intentionally) on my thigh.  So I don't move that bag for anyone unless they are elderly/clearly disabled.  

So this guy was neither.  He came back to us and started harassing us demanding we "make a seat". I stared out the window and the old black lady told him to shut up.  

At the next stop an extremely obese, filthy, stinky, white guy got on and stood next to my seat like he expected me to move my bag.  I did not, he would have taken up both seats and would have been rubbing all over me.  And if you can't be bothered to wash your hair and body (got on at apartment complex), I can't be bothered to move my bag.  Yuck.  He got off at the store so he wasn't even going that far.  I hope he doesn't try on clothes.  

I am still fairly nauseous, the ride to work didn't help, but I have my ride home lined up.  

That's it for now.  

Well I am able to work

 But I am still not happy with the deli.  

Son of a bitch

 Yesterday I ate a cold salad and 2 hardboiled eggs from the deli.  Today I have clostridium perfringens.  It is a food borne illness marked by cramps and diarrhea.  

That was fun riding the bus to work with no bathroom break but I made it.  I got some Gatorade and some breakfast crackers that should hold me.

My boss is finally happy with me, I couldn't call in today.  

As Ron used to say: ai yi yi.  

More tales from the crazy train

 So I have gotten to know some of the homeless psych patients who ride the crazy train bus.  One of them came into the store yesterday wearing nothing but a hospital gown, open in the back.  

Side note, when I sent Ron to the hospital wearing knit shorts and sandals, no shirt, they sent him home wearing a scrub top.  If you don't have clothes the hospital will at least give you scrubs when they discharge you.  

If, however, you go against medical advice you're going to be wearing a hospital gown.  So she walked up to one of my (female, black, about my age) customers demanding this lady buy her some clothes.  The woman's like, I don't think so... the psych patient was very insistent, then wandered off, said she would pick out some things and come back.  

I reassured my customer I would "take care of this" (people don't go to Walmart to get hassled) got ahold of someone with a radio, reported it, they escorted her off the property.  

I can't say much but I can say she for certain passed up a place that would have given her free clothes, between the hospital and the store.  This is a relatively young white woman who could have a good life if she took her medication, husband, job, kids.  A safe place to live.  But apparently she doesn't want that.  

So now I have to wonder if she's going to figure out I'm the one, had her booted, the next time she gets on my bus.  

It's a good thing I come in early

So my boss spotted me when I came in about 7:45 which is actually late for me on a weekday.  I will get into that in another post when I get home.  She asked me to clock in early which I did and then had me doing something else for 3 hours.  I am OK with that I need the money and want her to see me as a tool she can use.  She seemed pretty happy.  Good.

I was too tired to do meal prep yesterday so I got a pasta salad and a side of two, hardboiled, eggs.  I am curious to see how long it lasts.  

That's it for now.  She had me running all morning and I am beat.  

Scams are getting pretty sophisticated these days

 I decided to check my email and I had one from ISP.COM which set off a red flag as the correspondence always says from "just" ISP only.  I opened it up and it said my payment had declined and I had to go to (link) and re enter my billing information or they would turn off my service.  

A couple problems with that.  It is not my billing date, and when I looked carefully at the senders address it did not mention my isp at all just (noname@nothing.com).  Also it has been my experience the auto-pays always notify me by text message.  

I didn't click on the link and I looked at a real bill from my company.  It was from a completely different address.  So I will ignore it, and I marked it as spam.  It almost got me, though, it had completely nailed the look and feel of the isp's monthly billing statement.  

Just think if they had put that kind of energy into doing some good with their talents!  Shame on them!  I wonder how many people will wake up to empty bank accounts tomorrow.  I did mark it as spam which was about all I could do.  

I slept terribly all night even in spite of my stalwart bed cats.  I woke up to find my alarm clock reading 62:05 which means I'm buying a new one tomorrow.  My backup is still OK.  I had a pounding headache.  Took something, back to bed.  Got up about 3:30 and took my shower.  Not only did I have several very nasty dizzy spells I also almost vomited a few times, I guess from the headache, so I said no thanks, filed an absence on my work app, put my phone on do not disturb, and went back to bed.  

My headache is better but I still feel groggy.  The rain seems over but it is humid and warm.  

That's it for now. 

I hope I don't regret this

 The rain stopped and it is really nice out so I opened the front door.  Let's hope those pit bulls don't come back!  If anyone looks in they will see a very modest home with a tiny television (24 inch) and monitor screen.  I'm not really worried about people.  I guess I could always put my knife (switchblade, which is legal) in my pocket.  

It would be very funny if the Rapture happened with my front door wide open "come on in and get a Bible!"  I think I am going to get that knife.  

Anyway I am happy.  

I have an actual normal mood today which is not always common, a mockingbird (state bird) singing right outside my front door, some good music at a low level, a nice iced tea in hand.  

I am happy with the front room in the house which is the primary area my parents will visit.  I need to clean the bathroom and the kitchen, I will sweep but I will also do the floors again next week.  

That's it for now.  

I also plan to do up some evangelism stuff...

There has been a huge uptick

 In the amount of mentally ill homeless roaming the streets with their hoards of stuff.  Some have gone as far as stealing hospital wheelchairs and using them as "wagons" for their stuff, and I am seeing a lot of them on my routes.  It is challenging to my faith as they are rude, dirty, don't pay, block the aisle, etc.  

I need to work on my response to that, it is all internal but does not bring glory to God.  

On the positive side I will talk about work for a minute.  Last night I wanted to buy the "plain" crystal litter at work and they didn't have it.  I decided to try Walmart.com.  I have a free "plus" membership as part of my employment and I decided to use it on myself.  Normally I use it to send stuff to Mom and Dad.  

They had what I wanted online, 8 pounds for $12 with my discount and it has already been delivered.  Impressive!  Way to go.

I don't think corporate will mind me sharing that.  

It is very busy at work the night should go quickly.  

That's it for now.

On my lunch

 Boss came in at 2 but she has been OK.  

I am tired, but so far this week I have been averaging about 6 hours of sleep with 3-4 wake ups.  

Tonight I should get a good 8 hours.  I hope.  

My part of Houston isn't flooded I don't think.  I'll find out tonight.  Ace hasn't contacted me so I assume he is still coming.  

I am glad I brought my lunch.  

That's it for now.  

Thursday morning

 I woke up with a pretty brutal headache.  We are having severe downpours, most North and East of Mr.  Repeat: as of 10 am my area and the store are not flooding.  I hear rain, though.

I took Ace to work, that is why I carry extra money in my wallet.  Glad I did.  He is taking me home later.

The cats are good.  Spotty kept going out so he's going to track up my floors.  I need to sweep and mop anyway.

It was amazing having an extra 2 hours in my morning.  I was able to do so much.  I did forget my watch though.  I took it off to shower and forgot to put it back on.  

It was very odd, leaving my evangelism bag at home.

That's it for now.

It's enough to scare anyone off dating

 They have had the TV on local news in the break room the last few days and every day there is some sort of domestic violence/stalking murder.  It is ghastly.  

Not signing up for that!  

Wednesday morning

 Well I actually managed to do what my boss wanted; I think she has the approach: ask for the impossible, you might just get it.  

I came home OK but you can bet I am wary walking down that street now.  I came home, laid down for a little bit, called my Dad.

I missed my second bus home so I was a half hour late.  I had a protein shake, took my pills, went to bed.

I didn't sleep very well and woke up a few times.  I was running late this morning but managed to catch my usual buses.  The guy who does the second bus on Wednesday doesn't want candy 

Third bus featured a gacked out white guy with a hospital bracelet, clearly manic and delusional, licking his hands and staring at me.  I didn't make eye contact.  Unfortunately he got off at the store and I lost him in the parking lot.  I have to assume he is wandering around somewhere.  

I have the nice boss at least to start.  I don't know when the other one comes in.  

That's it for now!