"We would be at work for a while"

I didn't sleep well last night, I was worried about all the things that could go wrong today.  Then Torbie threw up in the bed, and I had to clean that up.  Later on, I woke up with pressed against me, warm and soft.  She is so sweet. 

I woke up a little late and rushed around getting things done.  One thing seemed pretty certain: we would be at work for a while.  So I fixed myself a sausage patty for breakfast and stuck a banana in the bag on the back of the wheelchair.  I also took a spoonful of coconut oil. 

Our ride arrived.  On the way to work, I told her I had "fixed" my shoulder through diet.  She wanted to know what I ate.  Fruits, vegetables (she's nodding), nuts (smiles approvingly), and meat. 

"YOU CAN'T EAT MEAT!" she screams.  It turns out she's a vegan.  There's no reasoning with the vegans, they have been brainwashed and refuse to listen to reason.  They don't realize the "vegan" sausage, pastries, etc. are full of processed crap and very unhealthy for them. 

In her case, her very obese grandmother is losing a lot of weight eating vegan.  Well, yeah, because there's nothing fun to eat. 

I was too tired to "get into it" with her.  But I did take pleasure in giving her my recipe for steamed kale in the microwave, with bacon bits.  She shuddered. 

We got to work.  Business as usual, end of the month accounting stuff.  I couldn't get a meter reading out of soda #2.  Other than that, pretty typical.  I did some stocking and Ron made sure the soda machines were nice and full. 

Time passed.  Where was the cleaning crew?  I saw some maintenance guys working on moving the other vendor's equipment back into "his" breakroom.  They did so without any problems.  I asked one of the guys about my cleaning crew. 

They have been crawling up our butts for over a month, raving about dirt under our vending machines, and demanding we move them so they could clean.  We called the number they gave us, last week, and told them we would be ready to go at 8:30 on Monday morning. 

"Oh, that's today?' 

Great.  He ran off.  I did manage to tell them I would need a pallet jack before we could move the machines. 

One of the guys came by, a couple minutes later, with a pallet jack. 

About that time the repairman contacted us.  He had arrived.  I let him in and he asked where "all the guys" were.  Good question.  We were supposed to have a full crew, I thought. 

Our area was conspicuously vacant, except for a couple of women mopping off in the corner.  The repairman looked at me, I looked at him.  "I will help as much as I can" I said. 

He opened the soda vending machines.  "These are supposed to be empty".  RON!  Ron just went on automatic pilot and filled them up like he always does. 

We had to "unstock" the three soda machines to make them lighter for the repairman.  It took a while, and my hands got numb from the cold sodas. 

He was able to move the bottled vendor, the three snack machines, and the two bill changers without any trouble.  He did need my help with the pallet jack, to get the soda machines.  We would tip the machine back, put the pallet jack under it, let the machine down.  Then he would push it more firmly onto the pallet jack.  Then he held the back while I "drove" it to our destination. 

Remember I don't drive.  I did OK, except for hitting a chair twice, and having to throw myself in front of it, once, to make it stop.  That's the nice thing about having some mass.  If I was a little skinny thing it would have run me over. 

We finally got them done.  All lined up in a row, unplugged, and sad looking. 

Then the bill.  $200.  He said that was a good deal, and I believe him.  You either trust your repairman, or you don't.  He said the cheapest guy he got quoted was $50 per machine just if the pallet jack touches the machine. 

Ron wasn't around, and he had the money, so I paid him out of my emergency money. 

Of course we have to pay it all again, tomorrow.  Then I have to put ALL those sodas back in the vending machines because they got mixed up and Ron won't be able to tell them apart. 

After the repairman left, Ron got pretty ugly with me.  Name calling, belittling, etc.  I wanted to ask him who just busted her ass helping him all morning but then he would have just gone on a tirade at God. 

If he wants to act like a jackass in front of witnesses, that's on him.  I know the customers talk.  There are very few secrets in the plant.   I just feel bad for the guy who ran over him, knowing that Ron is treating me like crap now. 

I asked him for my money back and he refused.  I was very unhappy.

The cleaners showed up with their floor stripper, buffer, and wax.  Good, at least it's getting done today.  By the time we left they had stripped the floor and were getting ready to wax it. 

We left.  He wanted to sit under a tree.  Fine.  I sat under a bench.  The ride came.  The driver was a little timid, not a good combination. 

We got Ron loaded and headed off to the bank.  I had taken the money out of the vending machines and he had counted it.  We were going to pay me, and hopefully pay me back. 

We had just enough to pay my salary, plus $200 more.  I told him "I took that money out of my own savings".  Ron acted as if he didn't understand I had used my money to pay the man (where else would I have gotten it?).  "Oh!" 

Then he paid me back.  If he had not paid me back within a few days I would have taken the money out of our savings account and told him about it.   I would have also told him I was never paying anyone again because he had proven he was unreliable about paying me back. 

As it turns out, he did do the right thing, but I was very disappointed in him.  He had a chance to do the right thing, and he didn't, not until I practically beat him over the head with it. 

That's almost as bad as not doing it at all. 

At least I am saved making a speech about it. 

We called a cab.  It was pretty late for us and I was tired.  Happily a man showed up in a few minutes.  He put the wheelchair away and was very nice, followed directions, etc. 

We went through a Burger King drive-through.   I forgot how the double cheeseburger is very small, and ordered two.  Ron ordered a large fries.  There's a healthy meal. 

They had the food ready quickly and we went home.  I threw away the buns and ate the patties.  I decided it looked big enough for the lithium, at least.  I ate some fruit with it (blackberries and grapes), and took my medication.  I was right, I was OK. 

I took a nap.  Torbie was off-and-on in my bed.  I had a hard time falling asleep and felt very restless.  I finally got up and decided to post. 

I only had one can of Diet Dr Pepper, in addition to my usual Diet Mountain Dew for breakfast.   I wonder if that's what messed me up? 

And there's BISCUIT!  He's purring and rubbing up against me.  I like Biscuit because he is more interactive than the other cats.  He's one of the only cats that will come up to me when I am on the computer, for some petting and lovies.  Now he's lying on the floor behind me. 

Oh, and I started my cycle today.  Happily not in a flood, while moving a vending machine.  Much more subtle and manageable. 

Now I plan to go watch some TV and then clean the litter boxes.  If I love the cats, I have to show it, and not just feeding them. 

If I won the lotto it would be nice to have a maid to come and clean the boxes. 

"Do I want to shave my legs at 4 AM tomorrow?"

I didn't sleep well last night, worried about them moving the vending machines on Monday.  Would our guy need help?  Could he get it?  Would they break one of our machines? 

I slept as late as I could, which turned out to be around 8 AM.  I got up, watched a little Law & Order, did my shoulder exercises, and took a shower. 

While in the shower, I had a dilemma "Do I shave my legs now, or tomorrow morning at 4 AM?"  I decided I did not want to shave my legs tomorrow morning, so I did them today.  I used the keratin shampoo (Suave brand) as my hair seemed a little dry and frizzy of late. 

I got out, dried off, and did some of my God Time.  I am a little out of practice, but I plan to get back into it.  Even doing the Bible study portion every day is a good start. 

I tried to take a nap, as we would be "out" during my nap time.  I couldn't sleep, still worried.  If you are so inclined, some prayers for tomorrow to go smoothly would be great. 

I got up and worked on my computer a little bit.  Ron woke up and got ready to leave. 

I rolled him outside a few minutes before the pickup time.  She was half an hour late.  She had two "church ladies" on board who were gossiping about some poor kid who just died.  Then they went to gossiping about some sexual indiscretions they knew of.  It wasn't, I felt, a very good witness. 

Christians are not supposed to gossip, but we are probably the worst at it.  We dropped one lady off, in spite of her giving no, to very bad, directions. 

Then we got dropped at the mall. 

Side note, I have been very surprised, when, in large parking lots, I see a lot of Houstonians wearing hoodies, long sleeves, and jeans.  It is a feels like temperature of at least 100 degrees (F), and about 38 Celsius.  It's insane.  Isn't anyone wearing summer clothes any more?  They must run from the air conditioned house to the air conditioned car, then the air conditioned building, and all in reverse to go home.  You couldn't pay me to dress like that. 

Correction: I would only dress that way if it were a required work uniform and I really needed the money. 

We went to the Taco Bell.  I saw a advertisement for a taco salad.  I ordered that, figuring I would avoid the bowl.  The "old" taco salads used to have a salad, with taco meat and sour cream on top.  When I sat down to eat it, I discovered it also had rice and beans as well, which I didn't eat.  It wasn't very filling.  I complained to Ron and he ate what was left of my bowl. 

He gave me some money to go to Subway.  They had 3 employees, one of whom had Down's Syndrome.  I wondered how he held up during the rush times.  He seemed to be doing pretty well, though. 

I ordered a salad, and he got a big bowl and put the meat into it.  The next guy put my veggies into the bowl and then chopped it all up.  I got lettuce, cucumber, spinach, and some banana peppers, but I won't get the peppers again. 

They put it in a bowl and I paid for it.  I ate it.  It took a while but it was pretty good.  I decided to take my medication, even though it is notorious about not liking salads.  So far, so good. 

Ron thought he ought to "try" to use the family bathroom, but there was a line.  The Mexican man in front of us, with two little girls, took so long in there I wondered if he was molesting them. 

That's one thing I don't get about Gen X and millennial parents.  They are always obsessed with the bathroom.  They will take 10-12 year old boys into the lady's room because "I don't want him to get molested". 

How often do you hear of a stranger molesting a child in a public bathroom?  Never.  Parents are just freaking out over nothing. 

One of the people in line for the family bathroom was a 10 year old boy.  Certainly old enough to use the men's room, but his mother wouldn't let him in there unless his father took him.  What is she worried about, some stranger is going to bend him over the sink and rape him in front of 50 other men?  In Texas?

Growing up, when my Dad was a single parent he had to take me in the men's room.  Some of the men objected but he always explained "I am her only parent".  One time a nice lady offered to take me in the lady's room, and she was very kind.  My Dad let her, and, sure enough, she brought me back in pristine condition. 

I think if a child is old enough to read, it is old enough to use the appropriate gender's bathroom.  Without hovering or panicking.  These parents aren't doing accurate probability estimates.  I hate when that impacts us in a negative way. 

We got our 10-minute callout so we left.  I spent a little time picking some lettuce out of my teeth.  It's the same spot that always catches kale. 

Our driver came.  We had a pretty unremarkable trip until we picked up a developmentally delayed woman who kept insisting we lived on (another street, another subdivision entirely).  We kept telling her no, she had us mixed up with someone else, but she wouldn't let it go.  She only really shut up when we turned into the subdivision. 

I have ridden with her before.  Like everyone, developmentally delayed individuals can range from very unpleasant to outright delightful.  She fell at the lower end of the spectrum. 

Then the driver tried to guilt me into calling in a compliment.  I hate it when drivers do that.  Generally they are poor to average drivers and not remarkable in any way.  If I have a really good experience, I will call in the compliment myself, without any prompting. 

But some of them are always pushing.  Maybe they have a lot of complaints and are trying to balance them out.  Some of them are trying to win "contests" with a cash prize. 

I just find it annoying when the drivers pester me for a compliment, especially when I got what I would consider "average" service. 

We came in the house.  I realized, to my horror, I had forgotten to lock the door between the house and the garage, but it stayed shut and didn't open.  I will remember to do that from now on. 

We started locking the door when, one day, we opened the garage door and two cats ran out.  Biscuit was more meandering, I was able to catch him.  Baby Girl ran off down the street and we didn't see her until she got hungry again. 

Torbie was a smart girl, she wasn't leaving her nice comfortable house and food bowl for any adventures. 

Biscuit threw up in my bed this morning, I found it later.  Sigh.  I can see why he got dumped.  He's just a puker.  Bubba was so bad I used to layer mattress pads and sheets so I could just peel off the soiled one and have a fresh sheet underneath.   Other than the puking (he eats too fast), he's perfectly healthy, and he's fat enough we know he's getting enough food.  Too much food. 

Other than that the cats are good.  Torbie stopped sleeping by my head when my shoulder began to feel better.  I guess she only wanted to be "nurse cat".   Now that I'm better, goodbye. 

Baby Girl is as neurotic as ever.  She hissed at Ron when he was petting her, the other day.  He pushed her off the bed.  Then she came back and wanted treats. 

Biscuit will come to me, an hour or two before dinner time, and act like he is dying.   He's just wanting dinner.  He always shuts up after I feed him (at 6:30 PM, dinnertime).   He always gets very excited when I wake up in the morning because he knows it's time for breakfast.  This morning, he laid on my legs for a while as I slept in bed (probably when he threw up).   He is looking very cute right now, sleeping in his basket with his paws on top of his head. 

Tomorrow should be interesting.  We will see how the whole moving the vending machines thing goes because apparently they will be changing out the flooring, in our area, in the near future.  That will be a big mess for everyone concerned.   I plan to consider this a dry run. 

Hopefully I will get a good night's sleep.  My dinner didn't have a lot of protein and fat so I am still kind of hungry.  I may need to have a sausage patty before I go to bed, which will be in a couple of hours. 

Ron is listening to classical music and reminiscing about an old girlfriend.  I wish he would be a little less obvious about it.  Apparently she was wealthy, educated, and sophisticated, everything I'm not.  She is also in her 60's now, most likely overweight and definitely menopausal.  She probably has grandkids. 

That's one thing I'll never have, and I won't miss it. 

Full Meal

I slept OK last night, thank God.  I woke up pretty tired, did my morning routine. 

For now, I am skipping breakfast and waiting until I am hungry.  We will see how that goes. 

We left the house and went to the Sam's Club.  I parked Ron at a table while I got some help to go load my flatbed.  A very nice man named Mike helped me load everything, even the snacks. 

My shoulder wasn't bugging me but I didn't want to push it.  I paid and waited with Ron.  Ron wanted a hot dog; they weren't ready yet.  He had a tantrum and sulked.  Then he did his usual negative and depressing talk for a while. 

If he had been like that when we were dating, there wouldn't have been a second date! 

I actually left him, at one point, to go buy a bunch of bananas, just to get away from him.  I did get 3# of bananas for $1.38, which took up the last of my pay.  I went back.  Ron was better but not upbeat. 

Jack came.  I got someone to help him load the truck.  We went to work.  I got the carts.  My shoulder didn't hurt when I put the mag liner on top of the other carts; it was killing me last week.  So my shoulder is a lot better. 

I was actually able to help him unload the truck this week, which made me feel better.  Of course I took him some cold drinks, he needed them! 

We finished up pretty quick (it was mainly a lot of soda, minimal chips, and some candy), and parted ways.  I got everything into the building (I was particularly worried about the chocolate). 

I met one of the custodians, who said they heard we will be moving our machines on Monday, so they can clean.  Good.  Ron had made a phone call but I wasn't sure they would actually be ready to do it, on Monday.  It is, to me, a waste of time and energy to move all these vending machines to clean a little grime on the floor, but it's not my facility. 

The other vendor had all her machines moved out into a hallway (unplugged) so they could lay a new floor.  The old floor is only 4 years old.  Apparently they are taking my advice, I have always told the custodians it never made sense to me, to have a white floor, because they are always cleaning it.  A dark colored floor, like they used to have in the "old" cafeteria, makes much better sense.  At least to me.  Like I said, it's not my facility. 

We didn't have much time so I went to work stocking.  I will have all the other vendor's customers coming in this weekend.  I might as well take advantage of the business.  I wish we had scheduled more time because I could have done more.  But I did the best I could with the time I had. 

We left and waited outside.  It wasn't too bad, hot and sunny, but with a breeze that made the heat much more tolerable.  We had a straight ride home. 

I took a nap.  Ron told me he had made a trip to the "good" mall (we are located between two malls, a notorious ghetto mall and a much nicer, more affluent, one).  He wanted to get some food at the food court. 

That was fine.  I set my alarm.  After I got up Ron said he had cancelled it because they couldn't promise him a good trip. 

I could have had a nice long nap.  But that was out.  I had already been up for a while, and dressed, when he told me.  Oh, well. 

Now he told me he scheduled another trip to the mall during my nap time, tomorrow.  I'm sure he wasn't thinking but I wish he would. 

I haven't been very hungry today, which is good.  I plan to eat some kale with bacon bits, and some link sausage, for dinner when I do eat.  If I didn't have to take my medication I would probably just have a light snack, but the lithium wants a FULL MEAL when I take it. 

Biscuit keeps digging his claws into my leg, purring, trying to accelerate his dinnertime.  He still has another hour. 

His "chub" (the fat that hangs down between his back legs) is developing less volume, so the diet is working.  Of course he doesn't understand. 

He probably thinks he is "dying" like he was when he got dumped in the woods as a kitten.  He feels the hunger pains and thinks "Oh no!  Not again!" 

Hunger can be an issue for me because I was neglected and left starving in my crib for hours on end, when I was a baby and toddler.  I watch that I don't revive bad old memories. 

That is funny.  My playlist (set for random) just came up with "Mirror" by Barlow Girl, right as Ron came into the room.  It is about an anorexic girl, but can also apply to verbal abuse. 

I have often been tempted to play it at Ron when he is castigating me "You don't define me!" 

Anyway, here is a link, with subtitles, if you are interested.  https://youtu.be/qYFth5CSX1k

OK, I'm starting to get hungry so I think I will go ahead and fix my dinner.  Nothing good on TV so I may be back later, or I may go to bed earlier. 

Scenic route

I was furious.  Ron got drunk and made a lot of noise last night, loudly yelling gibberish every time I went to sleep.  I kept yelling at him to stop, telling him I was trying to sleep, but he was too drunk to process.  I was pissed. 

I finally fell asleep around 10.  Then the alarm went off at 2.  I got up and did my morning routine.  I wasn't hungry, and I had a headache, so I didn't eat. 

I thought I would wait on breakfast-and-my-antidepressant until I felt a little better.  I had intended to put the antidepressant in my fanny pack but it didn't work out. 

Ron woke up at about 3:30.  He was, as expected very groggy and slow-moving.  The driver banged on our door around 3:45.  Paratransit had changed our pickup time, moving it up 20 minutes.  We were now past our pickup time and were in danger of losing the ride.  I told Ron, he cursed a lot, at me, at paratransit, at the driver (not to his face, thank God), etc. 

I finally rolled him out to the cab at the very last minute.  It was the "dialysis run" driver.  He runs around picking up dialysis patients, we had to get 2 of them before he took us to work.  We finally got to work and I began to move the carts.  Ron was in a vile, toxic, mood. 

He kept "crapping" on me, so to speak, just dumping a constant stream of toxic mood waste in my direction.  I found it a testament to my medication that I didn't respond.  I just did my work. 

The delivery came.  I ate a banana, some nuts and raisins, and 3 T of coconut oil.  If I'd had my antidepressant with me, I would have taken it.  I discovered aspartame didn't make me hungry if I drank it before eating.  The repairman came.  Eventually, we left. 

It was pretty hot waiting outside in the sun, but our driver came pretty quick.  We went home. 

I told Ron what had happened and request he "dial it back" so I could get a good nap today, and sleep tonight.  He had a tantrum and said it never happened. 

Times like this I am glad God will expose everything on judgment day.  He really treats me like crap. 

I took a nap and had a pretty good one.  I even woke up early.  I got up, checked my computer, and got ready to go out.  I put my antidepressant in my pill bottle along with my evening meds, then put it in my fanny pack, so I could "eat" it with dinner. 

Ron had made a trip (last night, before he got drunk) to go to the bbq place.  I was looking forward to a big plate of links. 

By the way, I am still down 5 pounds.  The other vendor's wife said I looked a little smaller but I think she is just being nice. 

Ron eventually woke up, got ready, and we left.  Ron asked the driver to take the "scenic route", as paratransit was planning on leaving us there for an hour and half.  The driver did so. 

We got there and I ordered a pound of links.  I can (and did) eat some today, and eat the rest tomorrow.  Ron got a sandwich, and a beer.  I was "bad" and did get a diet soda.  I ate and took my meds. 

We talked for a while.  Things were going pretty well until we were about to leave.  I gave him my lidded soda.  "Jesus, Heather" he exclaimed, and went into a rant on how I had "overfilled" the cup, calling me names, etc. 

I never would have stayed with Ron if I had children, and if he got me pregnant I would adopt it to a loving family.  I would never want my children growing up to think that is the way to treat, or be treated. 

The verbal abuse is never very far away.  When he talks about it, he says he "can't help himself", yet I notice he never acts like that when my father comes to visit.  It's a lot more controllable than he'd like to admit.  We went outside and waited on the driver, who was a pretty nice guy. 

I talked to him all the way home.  It was nice to talk to someone who wasn't calling me names, cursing at me, and verbally abusing me.  If I were a lesser woman I would leave Ron for another man, one who would treat me better.  That's not to say I wanted to leave him for the driver, just that the driver was, to me, symbolic of all the nice guys out there who wouldn't dream of cursing me out.   Again, I am consoled by the fact God will expose all of this on judgment day. 

All I do is help Ron, you think he would be more appreciative of the fact.  I'm the only one who is there for him, 24/7/365.  I work sick.  I work depressed.  I work when I'm tired, when he's kept me up all night, and more.  I make sure he has food to eat, clean clothes, and more.  I take care of the cats.  He has all the fun of petting and treats, while I'm paying for and lugging home the cat food, changing the box, buying more litter, lugging that home, etc.  I put up with a lot, and when I do receive a word of appreciation it is done with the intent of manipulating me. 

I expect to be treated with dignity and respect.  I am not.  I give it, though.  I could share things on here, oh, could I.  But I won't, because I'm better than that. 

I wish he were. 

Haz-mat mood

Ron has just been in a VILE mood all morning.  It is toxic and contagious...

Not happy

Last night Ron got a little too drunk, kept mumbling and yelling loudly until well after 9 PM.  I had to get up at 2 AM, our pickup is at 4.  I am "not happy". 

He of course is too groggy to process anything and will probably spend a lot of time complaining about how tired "he" is, then tell me "it never happened because you didn't record it". 

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware it was in my marriage contract that I agreed to be kept up all night; and that I had to "prove" to you how obnoxious you were the night before.  Why can't he just believe me?  I don't lie about this stuff. 

Soda eve

I had a somewhat aggravating trip to Walmart this morning. 

I didn't sleep very well (I thought I didn't need a Naproxen), and got up around 1 and took one with some milk and a handful of pecans.  My stomach was OK with that.  I sat up for a while and made sure I was OK, then went back to bed. 

I got up some hours later, fed the cats, usual morning routine. 

We went to Walmart.  I needed, most importantly, a 4-pack of Advantage II for cats, large size.  For large cats, I mean. 

On the way over there I found a package of bacon bits.  Those will make my daily kale rations a lot more interesting. I put them in the cart. 

When I got over to pet medicines I found all the Advantage, and many other medications, in a cage.  Locked.  I had Ron call the store and send someone to open it.  So far, so good. 

The woman showed up pretty fast, opened the cage, and got me the medicine.  I need to apply it to all 3 cats, on the first. 

She said I had to pay for it immediately.  The nearest cash register was in the electronics department.  We went there. 

She rang it up.  Both items.  $55.96 cents.  No problem.  I handed her my last $60.  She hit the "cash" button and it didn't tell her what change to give.  She was really upset and baffled. 

I would have told her, when you hit the cash button it thinks the customer gave you exact change.  She clearly didn't know how to operate a register. 

She got very flustered and started screaming for someone to come help.  I told her "Just give me my $4.06."  No, she said, she couldn't do that, because the register would be short. 

No, it wouldn't because I gave you $60.  I didn't say it but I sure thought it.  I couldn't help but think how many of those "cashless society" advocates would be promoting this as a reason to get rid of cash.  She fumbled around with the receipt, and a calculator, for a while, and finally said "I owe you $4.06, but I have to check with someone first before I give it to you."  I wanted to bash my head into the counter.  I had a limited amount of time and she was eating it all up. 

Someone came and finally told her it was OK to give me my change, and the receipt, and stuffed it into my bag. 

Finally.  I got my other things, (I had texted Ron to hold off on calling any cab drivers until I contacted him again), and checked out.  This time the cashier didn't have any problems ringing me up. 

I was hungry.  I went to McDonald's.  They were only doing breakfast.  I asked for two a la carte eggs, and two sausage patties.  I had read somewhere you can do that.  It took a while but they got me my food. 

Ron contacted the repairman, who says he can get the machines moved on Monday, if he gets some help.  I am sure the maintenance guys would be happy to help him, if he can't get someone on his own. 

We called one of our cab drivers, who, as it turns out, knows all of our other cab drivers.  Interesting.  I guess they talk about their customers. 

We went in the house and I put my sausage patties away.  I took a nap.  Since I have to get up very early tomorrow I wanted to get all the sleep I could, today. 

Oh, weird thing.  Our garbage did not need to go out this week, so I didn't take it.  I saw a garbage can in our driveway yesterday and this morning.  I thought it was awfully lazy of #6 not to get their garbage can, if I had 6 kids they would all be doing chores. 

When we left today I discovered it was our can.  Apparently #6, or someone, came in our yard and took the garbage out for us, even though it didn't need to go.  Odd.  I guess they meant well but it was unnecessary. 

I found it a little creepy.  I don't like people on my property without permission. 

Anyway, I had a pretty good nap.  I have been hungry all day, though.  I have eaten a bunch of stuff that is on my diet plan and still hungry.  I think it's because I am higher carb this time.  But I can't stand to go back to a steady diet of sausage, greens, cheese, and fats.  I want something fun now and then. 

We will see.  I am still down 5 pounds.  My cycle should start by the end of the week so that is always good for a little weight loss. 

Good news is, I'm not gaining. 

Ron woke up a little after I did and wanted to talk.  Instead of "verbal abuse" I suppose you would call it "verbal praise" "I can't live without you, you are so wonderful, etc." 

Of course believing that means I have to believe all the horrible stuff he says too. 

We talked a little and he went back to his room, I fed the cats, and now I'm getting ready to go to bed. 

Tomorrow is soda delivery day. 

Finally got a good night's sleep

I finally had a really good night's sleep with the Naproxen.  I could move around in the way I was accustomed, without pain. 

I got up and did my morning routine.  Today, I figured, instead of my protein bar I would have some nuts and fruit.  I did that.  I made up a big bag of mixed walnuts and pecans.  That went pretty well - for awhile. 

We went to work.  We had a normal driver.  The other day, we had a driver who wanted to relate, badly, the whole plot, blow-by-blow, to the movie "Get Out".  I read the synopsis just out of curiosity, and she got most of the film completely wrong. 

Anyway, we went to work.  It was pretty uneventful except that manager, and a coworker, came and reminded us about the whole "move-the-vending-machine-so-we-can-clean" thing.  I overheard her telling the other vendor's employee they will need to remove some of their machines completely, so I guess we're getting off easy.

They won't be happy to find the broken floor tile, where the jerk went after my snack machine with a crowbar and tried to remove the door.  That literally had me in tears.  It sounds strange, but that vending machine was my best friend.  We had been through so much together.  I even programmed it with a special message "Thank you for supporting Ron and Heather" and it took me forever to do it.  We had been through so much together, starting the business, Ron's accident, coming back to work, the remodel, etc.  I fought many attempts by our management (blind vendor program) to take the machine, because it had depreciated to nothing.  Let's hope I don't get too angry when explaining what happened, to management.  It still upsets me, it was a really good machine.  And they didn't even get it open, they just wrecked the hinges and rendered it inoperable. 

Our program gave me a "new" (15 years old) snack machine, and it is OK, but it has a lot more glitches than the old one.  I still miss it. 

So, I stocked.  We took the money (not much) out of the vending machines and Ron counted it.  It wasn't a whole lot but enough to pay for supplies on Saturday. 

The repairman came out for our bottled vendor.  An electrical component that drives the lights, is dead.  He isn't sure which one, he will have to test it.  He took it away, he hopes to get it back to us on Friday. 

Ron made his soda order while we were waiting to go home. 

I did have a problem at work.  Ron got me some diet, caffeine-free sodas a while back.  They messed with my blood sugar and made me very hungry.  I ate some nuts, that helped, but I still had trouble. 

We went to the bank and did our transaction.  Our pickup ride arrived at the same time as our dropoff.  So we had a ticking clock as we waited in line to do our business.  We managed to get it all done in time. 

We picked up an obese client at a gym, and she screamed at the driver to move his seat up.  He was tall, with long legs.  He had to fold his legs up, as he pulled the seat up.  His knees were at the steering wheel.  It was very uncomfortable for both of them, especially as she had a couple of large bags of stuff.  Here's a thought, if you're not "fitting" in the cab any more maybe it is time to tell the company (and they can) they need to ride in the big van only. 

Speaking of weight, I am down about 5 pounds as of this morning.  So paleolithic/caveman diet is working for me. 

But I have to cut out the aspartame.  I had a diet iced tea a while ago, and the same thing, suddenly starving. 

After the bank we went to the Kolache factory, Subway (both for Ron), and Starbucks.  Since I lost weight drinking a heavy whipping cream steamer I ordered another one.  I was pretty hungry so I also got a "protein box" which had a couple of hardboiled eggs, some cheese, and fruit.  I didn't eat the bread that came in the box.  It was pretty good and pretty much on my diet.   I took my medication with it. 

We went home.  I took a nap.  Ron woke me up talking loudly on the phone and then claimed I had never told him I was going to take a nap.  I told him, yes, I had, and you said "OK' when I did.  I mean, it's not like it's a surprise I plan to take a nap when I get home after a long day. 

I did manage to sleep OK after that.  I woke up, did a load of laundry, did my shoulder exercises, and ate a snack.  I drank the iced tea, which was a mistake. 

Now I'm getting ready to go to bed. 

Picking kale out of my teeth

Last night I had some stomach cramps.  I wasn't sick, but I went from a diet of primarily processed carbohydrate, to a fiber and fat rich paleolithic diet.  It's going to be a bit of an adjustment. 

I didn't do a transition, just all of a sudden started eating better (because I was tired of HURTING!), maybe not the best idea in retrospect.  One of my Facebook friends added 5 grams of fiber a week, to her diet, that's probably what I should have done. 

The heating pad did a good job but I just didn't sleep very well.  I got up, did my morning routine, and got ready to go. 

Ron didn't want to take a bath, instead he used his bath wipes.  Doc didn't seem to mind.  He smelled OK (Ron, not Doc). 

Our ride was only a little late.  We had a young lady with really bad lymphedema in a wheelchair, and her caregiver, who was dressed in angry gang colors.  We were all pretty much going to the same place. 

We had a pretty good ride, and went to Starbucks.  Now, dairy is not paleo, but it is ketogenic, which is also another diet I have done and very similar to paleo.  Long story short, I had a heavy whipping cream steamer.  I think it has like 800 calories and a million fat grams but it was good, filled me up, and didn't wreck my eating plan. 

I am trying to be cautiously flexible. 

We went to the doctor.  It was the first time I have used my insurance.  They took a while verifying it.  Well, the insurance company did.  They don't want to pay up!  They want my $400 every month but no payouts! 

I had to fill out some paperwork, which I did.  Family history of heart disease, both parents.  High blood pressure, mother.  Arthritis, mother.  Dad is fine as far as I know, re: arthritis.  I filled all that out. 

I didn't need to do anything on Ron because they just saw him last month. 

They came and took Ron's vitals first.  They were great.  They took my vitals.  What I saw (blood pressure) was great.  And I had a headache, I forgot to mention that.  Nasty little headache, very pervasive.  My weight was about the same. 

They put us in the same exam room when we said that was OK.  Doc got stuck in traffic and was half an hour late.  That was OK.  I don't mind waiting on a good doctor. 

He came in and examined me.  He bent my arm all over the place.  Nothing.  Not a speck of pain.  I told him it hurt when I picked things up.  He thinks it might be arthritis. 

Arthritis is very well managed by a paleo diet.   I already knew that. 

He wrote orders for an X-ray.  He also wrote a nice (big!) prescription for Naproxen, which I asked for by name.  It is an NSAID, a little stronger than the OTC stuff, basically the same stuff as Aleve but stronger.  It has worked VERY well for me in the past and does not interact with any of my medication.  For headaches, it does not have heart attack risks like the tripitans.  I do my homework. 

I also asked for some Phenergan because I am down to, like, 5 tablets.  He was happy to do it. 

Then it was Ron's turn.  "I need some Neurontin.  It helps with my Neuropathy". 

"OK". 

That was it.  I went and got my X-ray.  One of the poses, a "fashion model" type pose with my hand on my hip, with my wrist turned out, did hurt.  So hopefully they got an image of whatever is wrong. 

Time to pay.  I normally pay $95 "self pay" cash-as-you-go payment.  It was $77.  So, instead of paying $100, and having $300 left; I had to pay $477 this month. 

Not such a bargain.  But we keep it for the severe things, because you never know when the asteroid will hit. 

We went to Walmart.  It took them a little while to do up the pills.  We did some shopping.  Ron wanted more onion dip and carrots; I wanted some fruit and plastic wrap. 

We paid and went back to the pharmacy, stared at the condom display for a while, and then they called us.  My prescriptions only cost $13.  I got a 60 count bottle of Naproxen (2 a day, with a refill), for $4.  The Phenergan was $9 something, a lot better than the $25 I paid the last time I got Phenergan (it's been a few years).   Ron's was not cheap, and wiped him out financially, but it is 90 days. 

We went to McDonald's.  Ron got a Happy Meal with apples and soda (diet), and I got a couple of plain McDoubles.  Ron ate, I didn't.  I was still full. 

We left and Ron called a cab.  We are pretty broke (after the cab fare home).  We went home, I put my fruit away after I snuck a few organic blackberries.  Yum. 

Then I took a nap.  I didn't sleep as well as I would have liked but I hadn't taken any pain medicine either.  When I got up, I heated up the hamburgers, threw away the buns, and ate them.  I fixed a big bowl of kale (about 2 cups cooked) in olive oil, had a few walnuts, and made myself a fruit salad (grapes from Sam's club, blackberries, and blueberries).  My headache was still gnawing at me.  I took one of my Naproxen and felt relief within about 10 minutes.  Good stuff. 

I ate everything and took my crazy pills.  The fruit salad made a nice dessert.  I like to think I can do this, long term.  I keep picking kale out of my teeth, though. 

I think, once I eat my way through this giant bag of kale, I will get some Chinese greens at the Asian market nearby. 

[gurgle]  My poor system is still adjusting. 

Fickle

Shoulder didn't hurt during my exam.  Doc thinks it might be arthritis, sent me for an xray.  One of the positions made my shoulder mad.  We will see what the report says.

Ugh

I didn't sleep too well last night.  My digestive system isn't used to all these vegetables.  I also made a terrible mistake: putting apple cider vinegar in my water.  I keep it by my bedside because I have extreme thirst due to meds.  Sipping on that all night - YUCK.  Never again.

I never said that

Ugh. 

Ron is absolutely raving.  Why?  Because I "insulted" him again. 

I think the first "insult" was when I told him he needed to take a bath before he went to the doctor's office tomorrow.  He says he will just use the bath wipes.  I told him that's not good enough, he needs a full bath.  He says no.  So I will tell the doctor, myself "I asked him to take a bath". 

Later on, we went out in the back yard.  I reminded him the gate opens outward.  He got very offended and accused me of "insulting" him.  Why?  I tell everyone the gate opens outward! 

We went out back. 

See, I need to explain, on Saturday Ron called the electric company during the power outage.  They said the power was fine, we had to check the breaker box, nothing was wrong on their end.   [Later on they admitted it would be a couple of hours before the power came back.]

Ron insisted I go check.  So I went.  Buckets of water were coming off the roof and drowning me as I looked at the box.  It was fine.  Then I couldn't get it closed. 

Great. 

It was right outside Ron's bedroom window so I asked him to take a crack at it, but he said he couldn't reach it properly.  Well, yesterday I had the migraine and we had to wait for the mud to harden in the side yard anyway. 

So, we did it today. 

Anyway, we're out back.  Ron had a roll of duct tape and some scissors in case he couldn't shut the door.  He did manage to get it. 

Good. 

As we were coming back, I noticed the scissors were gone.  "Where are the scissors?" I asked.  Ron blew up and accused me of "insulting" him, first by telling him the gate opens outward and secondly when I asked about the scissors. 

I told him, I tell everyone about the gate, anyone who wants to come in the yard.  I didn't see the scissors so I asked about them, so I wouldn't have to go back for them.  No big deal.  You are taking innocent questions/statements and turning them into attacks. 

He does this a lot.  He blows things out of proportion.  I remind him to take his vitamins and he'll say something like "You think I'm stupid?" 

I never said that. 

I did it!

I had the migraine all night.  I took some Excedrin at 4 AM.  I was trying to avoid Tylenol, as I suspect I am getting rebound headaches from using it so much the last couple weeks.  But, I was desperate.  I couldn't work in my current condition and I had to get some relief.

So I took it around 4, and went back to bed until 5.  I felt appreciably better around wakeup time and did my usual morning routine. 

I have learned, during/after a migraine, not to eat until I am actively hungry.  Otherwise the headache comes back, I get queasy, etc.  So I didn't eat.  I can "eat my chub" as I tell the cats when they're begging (eat your chub!). 

I did weigh myself and, depressingly, I was the same weight I had been Friday.  That's what I get for staying hydrated, I guess. 

That'll teach me to weigh.  Maybe I need to get myself another tape measure.  That would be a good idea. 

Since the garage door wasn't connected (I was still pretty groggy and didn't want to attempt it) we went out through the front door.  That worked OK. 

So, we went to work.  It didn't suck.  I could stock without much pain and Ron was very helpful when it came to moving the big stuff.  I actually see an end of the road on this whole shoulder thing.

Bad news, the power surge when the started up the power again at work (they had the power down for 12 hours to service the electrical components) fried the LED'S on our bottled vendor.  All the other machines were OK.  The food machine, properly, shut down.  It got up to 67 degrees in there which is well out of the health zone.  I reset it and removed the single sandwich that went bad. 

I saw my bag of pecans on the shelf in the stockroom and thought "Hm, I could eat".  I ate a handful.  I ate another handful later, before we left. 

I did all my stocking and helped Ron with his.  I also got our sandwiches. 

The other vendor's employee was very nice.  They had a couple of empty carts.  Ron had just loaded our only cart with all the drinks for the bottled vendor (the lack of lights isn't slowing them too much).  I asked him if I could borrow one of his carts to go get (both) our sandwiches.  He said sure and I was able to do that easily. 

While Ron has been able to move cases of bottled drinks, I don't want to abuse him.  We can't afford to have both of us down right now. 

Overall, I was delighted, my arm was a lot better.  Apparently, a day and a half flat on my back was just what the doctor ordered. 

We left a little early.  I used my sunglasses.  I don't want another migraine.  We had a straight ride home. 

When she let him down on the lift, I saw how I might have injured my arm.  He was sitting on the lift, at the foot of the driveway.  How tempting to reach in with one arm and pull him out!  I used both arms, and I plan to for the future. 

We went in the front door.  I had to hold Biscuit back and it was aggravating for Ron. 

I went out and looked at the garage door again.  There was a shiny, stainless steel bracket at the top of the door.  There was a shiny metal bracket, looking very similar, at the back end of the chain, near the motor.  I was sure those two pieces went together, and whoever said "Raise the door" probably had it right. 

I was pretty hungry, though.  I ate some sausage links, grapes, and a big bowl of veggies with ranch dip.  I have eaten way more vegetables, of late. 

Ron called the company.  They wouldn't give him an estimate over the phone, but would send someone out.  Ron made me, to my way of thinking, sound like an idiot who couldn't figure something simple out. 

Everyone kept telling me how easy it was, but no one (except my readers) was telling me how. 

I decided to have another look.  I raised the door and played around with the release until I heard a loud THUNK.  I looked.  Something appeared to be hooked into the chain now. 

Here goes nothing.  I hit the button, and the door went down.  Yay! 

I told Ron to cancel the service call.  He was very happy.  I told him he owed me the cost of the service call.  He laughed. 

While eating, I managed to get grease/oil on two shirts, and spill tea on a third shirt.  I need to take my shirt off at home, when I am eating.  Ketogenic dieting is great, but fatty.  All those fats would love to fall on my clothes.  Thank God for my Shout gel.  If I feel better later, I will run a load of laundry. 

I also need to clean the litterboxes. 

After all the excitement, I decided to take a nap.  I did not sleep well with the migraine last night, it was one of my more vicious ones. 

I had a pretty good nap but sad dreams/nightmares before I woke up.  I woke up with a mild to moderate headache.  I decided to take a couple of aspirin. 

It has kicked in by now but I'm still really tired.  They call it "Post-ictal" what you have after a seizure, or a migraine, really tired, groggy, etc.  It is almost as bad as a migraine. 

But, thanks to you guys, I managed to fix the garage door, and I know how to do it now.  Ron and I are in agreement we will not use the garage door during an active thunderstorm.  Good. 

If the motor goes out, I'm going to tell Ron I really think we need to get a manual door. 

Off I go.  I have litter boxes to clean and laundry to run.  Tomorrow I see the doctor.   

Death warmed over

Horrible migraine all night.  Feel like crap, look pasty and sweaty.  Off to work!

Simple is always better

Migraine's been pretty bad today. 

I vomited once already and feeling like I might again. 

My hair kept getting everywhere, so I tried tying it back with an elastic and getting it out of the way, but it made a hard lump on the back of my head when I lay down.  I eventually took it out. 

I laid down, vomited, laid down again.  I had a pretty big (half gallon) container of drink (diet tea) next to my bed so I worked on that once I got thirsty again.

I currently have a drill like pain in my head that makes it impossible to think. 

However, after reading all the comments I tried to fix the garage door.  No luck.  It just isn't working.  I know the guy will come out and have it fixed in 2 seconds, he will show me, and it will appear to be the same moves I made tonight, but they won't. 

I will make him stay until I am pretty sure I have it down, although I don't think this will happen again.  Ron has agreed not to use the garage door if we have an active thunderstorm going. 

I can't help but think all this would be over if I just had a manual garage door.  I could open and close it whenever I wanted, but Ron wanted to go "big time" and have a remote.  Ugh. 

Simple is always better. 

My shoulder hurts.  I think the headache I have might be a rebound headache caused by using painkillers.  Basically, the minute the painkiller wears off, you get a headache, the only way to stop it is to stop using the painkiller.  So I will do that if possible. 

Ugh.  I am just, physically, miserable.  I can't think and the light is killing my head. 

I'm going to bed early. 

At least Ron is being nice. 

I told him so

After we got stuck with the garage door open, Ron waited in the garage.  The plan was to wait until the power came back, then lower the door. 

As I mentioned, it had a manual release.  I was sure I could get it down but not sure I could get it working with the motor again.  I kept telling Ron this. 

Ron got impatient and demanded I use the manual release.  I told him I would, but I wouldn't be responsible if it didn't work.  I closed it.  He asked me if it would work now, I said I did the only thing I could see to do, and we would have to find out tomorrow.  About 20 minutes later the power came back on and we went to bed. 

I woke with a migraine.  I took some aspirin and Phenergan, it's not working very well.  I still have a horrible headache, nausea, the works.  I can't even sleep. 

I thought it might be caffeine related, I drank a diet Mountain Dew.  No luck. 

Ron woke up and wanted me to check the garage door.  Guess what, it doesn't work!  I told him if he had just waited for 20 minutes we would have saved a service call.  Now we will have to pay $60-100 for the guy to come out and fix it. 

He did agree not to use the garage door opener if we are having an active thunderstorm at the time.  He did agree to that. 

I told him so.  Money is really tight right now, we don't have $100 to waste.  We both have to see the doctor on Tuesday, prescriptions, etc.  I am really frustrated that he had a tantrum and decided he didn't want to wait on Centerpoint (our electrical repair guys) any more.  20 minutes! 

I really feel terrible.  I am going back to bed.  Hopefully I will be able to sleep. 

I don't even want to watch TV due to all the food commercials, they just make me queasy. 

So we wait

So I slept OK except for water and bathroom trips last night. 

I got up and we went to Sam's club.  I asked the manager for someone to help me load the cart.  I explained my shoulder was injured.  She found someone to help.  After that, it wasn't hard. 

Jack was a big help loading and unloading the truck. 

When we got to work, the night shift was just leaving, hours late.  They had a lot of drama and I think that's all I can say about it.

Today was basically a "bring in the inventory and park it" kind of day.  I made Ron do all the heavy lifting and my shoulder didn't yell too much. 

We went home.  I took a short nap and woke up with a bad headache.  I took some aspirin. 

We went to the BBQ place.  I wasn't hungry so I ate a really terrible fruit salad.  I took a phenergan and that helped a lot.  A while later I felt good enough to eat some links. 

A big storm system rolled in; lots of thunder and lighting.  Not normally a big deal, but we lost power right after we opened the garage door.  Now we are stuck with the door in the open position.  I could get the door down but I don't know how to put it back in the automatic position.

They said it could take up to 3 hours to get the power back.  Great.

So we wait.

Power out

Our power went out with the garage door open.  Now we can't shut it.

Yay!

Got a helper to load the cart today, at Sam’s club.☺

I was bad

I would have slept OK last night, but I was really thirsty (lithium side effect).  I kept getting up for drinks of water, and resolved to bring my big water glass to my bedside tonight. 

I got up, took my shower, did my shoulder exercises.  My shoulder didn't like that much.  Our ride was late, to go to Walmart. 

I took a picture of poor, suffering, Biscuit and uploaded it to the blog.  Looks like it worked.  Look at that belly!  He looks pregnant!  He can certainly afford to miss a little dry food. 

We went to Walmart.  I got some stretchy bands for my workouts.  I also got ginger root, Benadryl for Ron (the white and pink one, not the solid pink one), generic 8-hour Tylenol for me, etc. 

I got some mints for me.  I like to have a mint in my mouth when I go to sleep.  It helps with the dry mouth.  I am conditioned now, when I put a mint in my mouth I start to get drowsy. 

I got some pecans to eat at work, instead of the junk food we sell.  I thought that would be a good idea. 

I was pretty hungry.  I paid and checked out.  I made my deposit, boy that's a lot of money for health insurance.  I went to McDonald's.  I ordered a grilled chicken salad.  They asked me what kind I wanted.  I told them the ranch (as it turns out, a good call).  With ranch. 

It took them a couple of minutes to cut up the chicken breast but they got it to me.  It had a nice bed of mixed greens, some grape tomatoes, shredded cheese (but not enough to go totally off plan), a cut up chicken breast, and some bacon.  It wasn't bad.   I did get some salad dressing on my shirt, though.  I hope it comes out. 

I had woken up with a headache, so I hadn't eaten anything all morning.  After I ate this, I took my morning medication. 

As it turns out, the medication kept me up during what was supposed to be my nap. 

Ron had planned to call a cab to take us home, but all the usual guys were not available.  One doesn't even drive a cab anymore. 

About this point, I realized I had forgotten to get my fruit.  I want to cut up limes and lemons, and put them in water, instead of my usual diet soda or drink mix with aspartame.  Ron was annoyed but I ran off and got them.  I got a pound of key limes for $2, and the organic lemons (out of season) cost about $6.  But, like I said, I try to get organic when I can. 

I went back to Ron, who told me "Empty Trunk" was coming to get us.  Huh?  That's what he put the guy into his phone book.  Alright. 

About 20 minutes later, he showed up.  He put the wheelchair away.  Normally I would have helped but my shoulder wouldn't have liked it.  He was happy to do it.  I only had the one bag, plus the bag of fruit, so not a lot of junk.  He did have an empty trunk. 

He had a Russian accent.  He was a very nice guy and told me, when I mentioned using the microwave, that microwaves ruin the food. 

Virtually everything I eat comes out of a microwave, so I didn't argue.  We got home fast and unloaded. 

He took out the wheelchair and gave it to Ron, while I got my stuff.  We went in the house. 

I tried to lay down and take my nap but it didn't work.  I finally got up after about an hour. 

I fixed myself a meal, some sausage links, and then I steamed some kale in the microwave (!).  I ate some Walnuts to finish it off. 

I was bad; I was still hungry, so I ate the last, cream cheese, kolache in the fridge.  Then I took my medication. 

I also took some ginger root to help my shoulder, and put ginger root into all my pills of the week compartments, AM and PM.  I watched some TV and talked to Ron. 

He drank a little but not enough to become obnoxious.  He apparently just found a pile of dirty clothes for me to wash tomorrow. 

So, it's about bedtime.  Tomorrow should go OK.  I am only worried I won't find a helper at Sam's, to help me put my stuff on the cart.  That would be a big help.  If I can get that, I am set. 

That's it for now. 

I cut up part of a key lime and put it into my water.  It isn't bad, I think I can live with this.  I have realized the aspartame messes with my blood sugar, dropping it, whenever I consume it.  Then I get hungry and eat, when I would have been fine if I had just stuck to water with a little lemon maybe. 

Now I'm done. 

Poor Biscuit

Excuse the dirty floor.

Cheat day

I slept OK last night and got up at 5 AM.  I took a shower and fed the cats. 

However, I did not feed the dry food.  Normally I feed dry + wet but today I only fed the wet.  I will only feed the dry at night, 1/3 cup, as a special treat along with their wet food. 

Biscuit is just huge, I have to do something to get his weight down.  I don't want him getting diabetic or sick.  I don't want him so fat he can't clean his butt, that is just a nasty look.  Especially since he has mostly white fur. 

He wasn't happy with it but he's the only one complaining, so I think I'm doing the right thing.  I will be feeding him dinner in about 45 minutes. 

Well, 37 now. 

So, we went to work.  Ron understands he will have to do the heavy lifting for a while and he is OK with that.  He briefly got a little ugly with me but not about that. 

I stocked everything.  I think I hurt my shoulder with an overuse injury.  Pulling out the vending machine trays really sucked.  It was like I was getting stabbed in the shoulder.  No fun at all.  Lifting my arm to fill the coils wasn't a lot of fun either.  But I got it done. 

I did not take a painkiller before work, I wanted to remind myself to take it easy. 

That worked OK.  We got everything stocked.  We took the money out of the machines and I counted it (happily that did not hurt my shoulder).  I put it into $100 packs and put it in the backpack.  We had to pay sales tax today (I did that first thing when we got to work) so we had to have some ca$h for that. 

After work, we went to the bank.  We deposited what we needed for sales tax.  Ron got a little confused during the transaction and lost his temper, but we got through it.  Finally done. 

Paratransit was going to leave us there for another hour. 

Now, paratransit allows you 5 late cancellations, or same day changes (a combination) a month.  More than that, you get penalties and can lose your service for a while.  Ron called to see how many "bad marks" he had.  One. 

He called Lou the cab driver, who was right around the corner.  We cancelled our pickup from the bank and went with Lou instead.  We went to Starbucks. 

Actually, they have a burger place, a Kolache factory, a Subway, and a Starbucks all in one strip mall.  Everyone's happy going there. 

I was pretty hungry and decided to get a burger, no fries.  Yes, I ate the bun.  I decided to call today one of my (no more than once a week) cheat days.  Then we went to Subway and got Ron is beloved "Meatball".  He likes to have onions on it before it goes in the toaster.  I always remind them. 

Then Ron went to Starbucks.  I got a hot chocolate, but no pastry.  See, I am trying to behave on my cheat day. 

I went to the pet store and saw Buddy was still up for adoption, along with some really cute black cats.  I love black cats.  Give me a nice, fat, old black cat to sleep by my head at night (for some reason, Torbie didn't want to sleep with me after I took her to the vet [grin]). 

I looked around a little and got Ron some cat treats.  When I walked past the adoption cats, one of them saw the treats in my hand and started begging.  Sadly, they are locked up behind Plexiglas so I couldn't have given her any.  I thought it was cute she knew treats.  I felt bad for her, her owner died.  One cat whose owner died is 7 years old.  He is going to have a hard time getting adopted.  Poor thing.  At least he is tabby and white, and not black. 

I like black cats but many don't, and many won't adopt a black cat due to stupid superstition.  I remember reading once that black cats were considered lucky in France.  I have a lot of French readers.  Maybe one of you could confirm that for me. 

I went back to Ron.  He wanted to go to the Kolache factory.  So we did.  He got one.  He really liked it.  It was very buttery and flavorful.  I got a soda. 

The manager was "cool" with us waiting.  He understands we are dependent on public transit. 

Ron got a bizarre, unintelligible, phone call about his wheelchair from paratransit dispatch.  He called them back.  The driver who was going to pick us up had a no-room situation.  Could they send someone else, early?  Ron said sure. 

Anthony showed up a little later.  He is very nice, I like him a lot.  We chatted all the way home. 

I took Ron in the house.  I had a little toilet issue after I got home, a good purge, we'll say.  I don't know what caused that but I am eating a lot more vegetables than usual.  It finally finished. 

I let Ron use it and then I went to bed.  I took a couple aspirin and took a pretty good nap.  I woke up and my leg nerve was a little numb from sleeping on my back, but otherwise fine.  It went away when I got up. 

My shoulder feels better when I get up in bed.  When this all first started, when I put my weight on my elbow/shoulder it felt like I was being stabbed.  The pain was literally at a 7 or an 8 on a 1-10 scale.  Now it doesn't hurt unless I reach over to the side while I am leaning on my elbow. 

Ron called our doctor's practice.  Doc is out of town for a couple of weeks.  I hope he has fun. 

In the meantime, my shoulder is pretty bad and Ron needs more Neurontin.  Since our doc never prescribed the Neurontin, they don't want to "refill" something they never administered in the first place.  Understandable, but that means Ron has to go in and see a doctor to prescribe the Neurontin, so he is not in excruciating pain like he was a couple weeks ago.  Ron said he has about 15 left, so he is OK for now. 

However, he does need to get more pronto.  So Ron set it up that we will see the same doctor, one after the other, on Tuesday.  It will be interesting to see how that one works. 

I got up and checked the internet.  I basically let out my shoulder problem to Facebook and one message board.  I can use prayer on this. 

For dinner, I have a couple of kolaches (I told you today was my cheat day).  I can eat those with my medication, I've done that before.  It works. 

Tomorrow we just go to Walmart.  I'm going to get some ginger root, which is anti-inflammatory, and some more 8-hour Tylenol.  Also some more stretchy bands (for exercise) because Biscuit attacked the one the rehab hospital gave Ron, putting some holes in one end.  I guess he thought I was playing with him. 

That's one thing I intend to do everyday, my shoulder exercises.  My shoulder liked just plain shoulder circles, like you do in gym class.  I am always glad to find things that are helping me feel better. 

Anyway, that's it for now.  Tomorrow it's back on the paleo bandwagon.  I think one thing that slowed me down with Atkins before was the all or nothing mindset. 

Yes, a cheat now and then will slow my progress but it will keep me eating healthy 95% of the time.  That can only help. 

A trip to the vet

I did not sleep well last night, at least I had a hard time falling asleep, and then a hard time staying asleep.  But once I went to bed again for the second time, I slept OK. 

I got up, took my shower, and got dressed.  I got the heavy duty cat carrier out of the garage and kept a sharp eye on Torbie.  She wasn't hiding, she didn't know what I had planned. 

Chuck pulled up a little after 9 AM so I grabbed a protesting Torbie and shoved her in her box.  She fought me on it, but I got her in there even with the bad shoulder.  I carried her with my left arm as much as possible.  I got to Chuck's truck and put her in the back, and off we went.  She was making a lot of noise. 

She calmed down when we got to the vet.  I think, every time I put her in her carrier, she thinks I am taking her back to the shelter.  I wouldn't do that, she's a good cat.  But old trauma lingers, I guess. 

The tech came in and asked if Torbie is an inside or outside cat.  That answer is a little complicated, we have a catio.  I had to explain it is a big cage, outside, for the cats to play. 

The vet came in and was thrilled to hear about the catio, and wanted photos. 

I showed her one and she was really impressed, said all cat lovers need to do this.  I agree, if you can, build a catio for your cat.  We control access via a pet door mounted into our sliding glass door.  We can still go in and out, the cats can go outside whenever they want, and nothing unwanted can get into the house. 

Like Ron said "The cat food started lasting a lot longer once we did the catio" (before, we just had a cat door). 

The vet continued her exam.  Torbie was still 12.5 pounds, impressive with all the treats Ron's been distributing lately.  She would like to see Torbie lose another pound or so.  She did her exam, everything seemed to be normal. 

I told the vet tech the story of how Torbie chose me on adoption day, getting into my lap the minute I sat down and refusing to leave.  She is such a sweetie (Torbie). 

The vet decided to cut Torbie's nails (our request, she has been snagging them a lot lately) before doing the shots.  Torbie struggled like she was being raped, letting out pathetic little mews as she battled the vet and her tech. 

I can only imagine how she fought getting her blood drawn, last month.  The vet got them all trimmed to a nice short length.  I was very pleased. 

About this time I brought up the Icy Hot spray and the cats' odd reactions.  She read the label and said it has propylene glycol, which is bad for cats, and not to use it on myself if they were going to lick it.  I said that was fine, the salonpas worked better anyway. 

We talked about Biscuit's weight gain, and she said to cut back on his dry food.  I'll do that, he doesn't really care what he eats as long as he gets it twice a day. 

The vet gave Torbie her shots, which went well.  When the vet brought the carrier back to the table top, with the door open, Torbie ran right in.  It was cute. 

Then pick Torbie up with the left arm, and go pay.  It wasn't too bad, considering she is good for a whole year now.  Chuck waited for us, and took me back home.  I paid him, of course. 

He told me all about his adopted dog and how much fun they're having.  Good.   I think, if possible, everyone should have a pet.  Now, major depressives and some other ailments may have trouble taking care of a pet, but if you can, you should, in my opinion. 

I always like those stories of people going to the shelter and asking for the least adoptable pet, which turns out to be the best pet.  We came home. 

I liberated Torbie and gave her some treats.  I put the carrier back in the garage.  I caught Baby Girl sniffing Torbie with an interested expression "Oh, you've been to the vet".  We had a trip to Walmart, later, so I took a nap. 

I didn't have Torbie this time, not surprising, really.  Biscuit ran by but didn't stay. 

I had a pretty good nap and got up.  My shoulder is teaching me to get up when the alarm goes off, because it is too painful to lie back down and get up again, repeatedly. 

My shoulder is getting better, it's just taking a while. 

We got up and went to Walmart.  Our pickup was late, and our ride home was early, so I only had half an hour.  I bought some generic 8 hour Tylenol, some kale, and other food.  I bought some more tampons because I will need them eventually.  The $1 off coupon was just a bonus. 

I finished up and checked out in about 20 minutes.  I found Ron and asked if he wanted anything.  He asked me to check and see if his Gabepentin had come into the pharmacy.  I checked, no.

He said he wanted some chicken strips from the deli so I got those for him.  He happily ate them while we waited. 

Our ride home was the same driver who dropped us, and he was still running late.  We waited inside, out of the heat.  We chatted with another paratransit client who was also waiting. 

When we got home, Ron said he wanted me to trim his beard.  I did that. Then he wanted to weed whack the catio.  I told him I couldn't do it with my shoulder and he decided to do it himself.  He sat in his wheelchair, wearing a pair of shorts, no shirt, weedwhacking the entire enclosure.  It looked pretty good when he finished.  I guess we are lucky we didn't have any wasps around. 

He came in and redid the cord to the weedwhacker, and had me put it away.  I did that. 

I ate my dinner, sausage, kale with olive oil, and some grapes.  Paleo is higher carb than low carb but it is still pretty low carb overall.  Especially since paleo doesn't eat dairy. 

I am keeping an eye on my weight, we will see where I end up. 

I plan to go to bed early, if I can.  I found a couple of balls out in the backyard, the #6 kids are getting restless and were playing outside the other night.  They actually kicked one ball on top of the catio.  I had a lot of fun getting that one down, let me tell you.  Hopefully everyone will be quiet tonight and let me sleep. 

Ron just told me our pickup time.  I need to get up at 4 AM.  Yes, I am going to bed early. 

I almost forgot, our doctor's office called while Ron was weed-whacking.  Doc is out of town.  Great.  I will wait until he gets back to get my shoulder checked out.  Hopefully Ron can schedule back-to-back appointments and get his Gabapentin at the same time. 

I don't want him running out.  He is doing great right now. 

The fattest cat I've owned

I slept pretty well last night, didn't wake up as much, and had what I would call a good quality of sleep.  I woke up around 9. 

I got up, took my shower and did my God Time, and fed the cats.  Torbie slept next to my head last night and had a nightmare.  I talked her out of it, softly, as she moaned.  Poor thing. 

I had to wonder if it was a nightmare about being dumped at the shelter, or actually her time in the shelter.  The shelter is pretty well set up for cats "Catified" if you watch Jackson Galaxy, and they have loving attendants, but who's to say what happens at night when the humans go home? 

Biscuit slept on my legs but wasn't bothered by Torbie. 

Tomorrow I take Torbie in for her shots.  She won't be happy with me for a while but I don't want an unvaccinated cat.  I also want to ask about the Icy Hot Spray.  This stuff:

I first noticed it with Torbie.  I sprayed it on my shoulder (big surprise) and some of it ran down my back.  I mopped it up with an old rag and left the rag in my chair. 

Torbie went crazy for it.  She began biting it, nursing, and slobbering all over it until it was soaked.  I thought it was just Torbie. 

Now, if it is safe maybe I can spray some on a cat toy for them, but I need to talk to the vet first. 

Last night I gave my shoulder a shot (although I have to say I think the salonpas patches work better) and Biscuit went nuts biting me, slobbering, and purring.  OK.  It's all cats, at least in my household, going nuts for the stuff.  And I have two containers. 

I think I will be giving them away to people who don't have cats. 

Anyway, I did my usual morning routine and had a good time.  Shower, God Time. I watched a little TV, Supernatural. 

I wonder if people are actually dumb enough to try to summon demons.  That's a game you never want to play. 

A good book on the subject, although fiction, is "This Present Darkness" by Frank Perretti.  It's very well done and illustrates the spiritual realm pretty clearly. 

Then I took a nap.  I had Torbie and Biscuit again.  That's been one nice thing about my shoulder, since I can only really sleep on my back the cats have gotten a lot more cuddly. 

My shoulder felt better today, mainly because I didn't abuse it yesterday at work.  Ron will just have to do more for a change.  I have plenty of 8 hour Tylenol and I plan to buy more.  I still plan to see my doctor on Friday, I just want to take care of Torbie first. 

It doesn't hurt, usually, at rest.  It only hurts when I extend it, like trying to pick something up off the floor, or picking something up at work. 

Biscuit keeps sticking his head in my lap to remind me he's hungry, but I don't plan to feed him for another hour.  He is being gentle, but very purrsistent.  I wish I knew if I could spray some Icy Hot on the squeaky mouse for him and really give him some fun.  There he is again.  He's purring very loudly. 

If you were just looking at his face and paws, you would think "poor thing, he's starving".  But as I pull back and take a longer view, I see a 16# belly hanging down to rival a pregnant queen's, I have to say he can afford to skip a meal.  He is, the fattest cat I have owned.  I thought Bubba was big and he was only 14#.  I don't know how many kilos, between 6 and 7. 

I find it funny that a pregnant cat is a queen, and a pregnant dog is a bitch.  Doesn't say much about dogs. 

I am happy that dogs make other people happy.  I don't want one for myself, but I am glad your dog makes you happy. 

I find the "bipetual" houses the most interesting, with the cat and a dog.  I always assume the cat is the boss in that house.  Usually, I am told I am right. 

So I had a pretty good nap for an hour and a half or so, and then the yard guy came by #6 and did his thing.  I guess the whole trailer-blocking-my-driveway was just them arranging terms and times, not an actual service call, which happened today.  I assume they blocked my driveway again, but I didn't look. 

I finally got up and watched some Hoarders.  I was pretty hungry.  I heated up one of my precooked hamburgers, put it on a nice plate, and set up Styrofoam foam bowls with veggies and dip.  I used sliced carrots, and sugar snap peas, veggies I love.  Generally, I think people have some vegetable they enjoy, they just don't think to eat it.  I also like kale, if I can find some I will get it tomorrow when we go to Walmart. 

I still felt a little "hole" after eating so I ate a handful of walnuts.  My medication was happy with the meal so I didn't have any sickness or nausea. 

Generally I have learned lithium needs to be taken with fat and protein.  I was a little leery about the veggies but I ate enough fat and protein to "cover" the pills.  I don't ever really eat to desire anymore, it is all about having to eat to take my medication and what can I eat to make sure I don't vomit it up again?    That's nearly 11 years now, but it's a lot better than this game I used to play back in 2006, before my diagnosis. 

See, all my life I was told I wasn't bipolar, I was just dealing with the trauma of having a Bad Mommy.  Bad Mommy was responsible for everything, they said.  I would just get depressed, now and again. 

More like get suicidal, now and then.  I used to play a game: if I wanted to kill myself, at that second, what could I use?  Right now, sitting at the computer, I would say the electrical outlet in the lamp (where the bulb screws), and the electrical cords around my computer.  Plenty of knives in the kitchen.  You get the idea.  It was a horrible "game" but I couldn't stop playing.  I was tortured. 

So I have to eat on a schedule, and I have to eat certain foods.  It could be a lot worse. 

I tried to take it easy and pamper my shoulder today.  I didn't take out the garbage yet and I didn't really make a concerted effort to "dehoard" the place (another visit from Biscuit, this time with a piteous meow).  That can wait.  I did pick up obvious trash. 

I found Ron's book of physical therapy exercises and did the shoulder ones.  They gave us an elastic band to use to do them.  So I did that, and will do that every day for a while, I think 10 repetitions for the first (more Biscuit) week, and 20 for the second, ought to be good.  My shoulder did feel happier after doing them.  I haven't taken a painkiller since my old one wore off at 4.  I plan to wait, if possible, until bedtime (7-8, probably take it at 7 and go to bed at 7:30) so it can last all night. 

I am hoping my doctor gives me naproxen.  It really worked well for me with my bad knee (better now), horrible menstrual cramps, and even post surgery pain from my ovarian cyst removal.   I am very frightened of narcotics. 

I was given Vicodin because they had to delay my ovarian cyst removal surgery, and it was bleeding.  It hurt like hell.  I went, in a 2 week period, from taking one half tablet as directed to taking 2 tablets as directed (instructions said take one half to two tablets every x hours, as needed).  That was enough to scare me.  I liked how it turned off my emotions.  I liked that a lot.  Too much.  So I poured all of them out after my surgery and never regretted it. 

Sometimes I idly wonder if I am fertile.  The doctor told me they did a lot of cutting during the operation.  I don't care if I'm not fertile, I'm the one who told him to take the whole ovary if he had to.  But he was a fertility specialist and found the thought abhorrent. 

But I'm almost 43, those eggs are fried. 

Biscuit has finally left me alone.  Time to feed him.  I need to talk to the vet about portions.  Obviously Biscuit is getting too much.  I am feeding 6 ounces wet and 6 ounces dry every day.  For all of them.  Maybe I need to cut it back some more, but the girls have lost weight and look good at this amount. 

Maybe I need to talk to Ron about how many treats he is feeding.  He could be feeding a lot of treats I don't know about. 

"I don't think he's drunk enough to try goat"

Ron can be very ugly when he's drinking. 

He's cursing me out right now, I'll explain "why" he thinks he needs to do this in a minute.  But right now it is one curse word and derogatory phrase after another. 

I didn't sleep very well last night, my shoulder was bothering me pretty bad.  It is very hard to find a comfortable sleeping position.  When I lay on my back, the muscles spasm until it calms down.  Once it has calmed down I can fall asleep and sleep OK (I am taking 8-hour Tylenol for pain).  Sleeping on my side is impossible. 

I got up a couple times, which was a problem, because everytime I laid back down my shoulder would yell at me for a while.  So I tried to combine drink of water/bathroom run as much as possible.  At any rate I slept well enough, and had some energy for today. 

I got up and did my usual morning routine.  I am still eating protein bars in the morning just for lack of something simpler.  I also have a Diet Mountain Dew, not "paleo" by any means but I am trying to taper. 

We went to work.  Our ride was about half an hour late.  It's a good thing I didn't actually have to be at work by our appointment time.  If I had to rely on paratransit to get me to work on time, I'd be fired.  They can be very unreliable. 

Too many people on the lifeboat.  In my opinion, a lot of people riding paratransit shouldn't be.  They can walk to the bus stop on their own.  I have actually seen one client walk over a mile, dragging a heavy cart, one day.  Hopefully they are weeding people out as much as possible, because the system can only support so many people. 

Anyway, we got to work OK and I got set up.  I had to do snacks, they looked pretty bad.  I got the cart and loaded it up with all my merchandise.  I pretty much brought "everything" chip related out on the cart to stock.  I got that done, I did some candy bars.  I did cookies.  I did not have time to do pastry and I feel bad about that but I did what I could in the time I had. 

I didn't move any cases of drinks.  I had Ron do that.  He was (at that point and time in the day) supportive and understanding.  He was challenged at times by some of the exertion but he did OK.  We got everything stocked, and then replaced what had been stocked, in the fridge, so we have one case of every drink, cold and ready to go. 

I got sandwiches.  He is unhappy they added more work to his route, and has modified his "I can be there by" time by half an hour.  Ron wasn't happy to hear that. 

I came in and stocked the sandwiches.  I chatted a little with the other vendors.  One of them said I need to get painkillers (prescription) and muscle relaxers.  I plan to see my doctor later this week so hopefully - never mind, I know God will guide him on what I need to get better.  I am also considering getting a sling so I don't use the arm any more than I have to. 

About this time Ron went off on me for something I forget, screaming curses at me and generally being ugly.  It is so unprofessional to act like that. 

Pretty soon we were done.  I pushed Ron outside.  Again, they were late, significantly so, which left us baking like turnips out in the summer heat and sun.  Ron hid under a tree.  I sat on the bench where
the driver would be able to see me.  I was frankly happy to be away from Mr. Ugly. 

We went home.  I took more 8-hour Tylenol and laid down for a nap.  Biscuit and Torbie joined me.  Biscuit lying between my legs like I'd birthed him, Torbie by my head. 

Usually, when my alarm goes off, I get up, hit the snooze a few times, roll over and go back to sleep.  But if I get up to turn off the alarm it aggravates my shoulder and makes it impossible to lie down and relax, again.  I got up. 

While I'd been "sleeping", Ron decided to get very drunk and pass out in his wheelchair, in the hall.  Happily he was done with the abusive jerk portion of the program. 

He had a hard time getting up, when his alarm went off.  He's the one who basically demanded to go to the pupusa place again today, so he could get a bean and cheese burrito.  I reminded him of that when he complained. 

He finally got up and dressed.  He had a wine stain on his shirt.  I doubt that will come out but we will see on laundry day.  I just bought that shirt. 

Our ride was late, again, but not too bad.  He said he'd had to go around an accident on the freeway. 

We got to the pupusa place and there was a note in Spanish, on the door.  Translated "Sorry, no electrical.  Closed,  Have a nice day". 

Well, shit.  Ron handled it pretty well, probably because he was, I think, still pretty drunk.  I looked at the food places in the strip mall: the bad BBQ place, the closed pupusa place, and a Caribbean place.  Everytime we have gone to the strip mall, the Caribbean place has always seemed to be busy, so I figured why not take a chance?  We didn't really have a choice. 

So we went.  They only had about 5 things on the menu, curry, jerk chicken, curried goat, and some other things I forget.  I was a little leery about trying them.  I saw something off to the side.  They were bread "pouches" surrounding some sort of filling.  I asked what they were.  "Beef Patties". 

I got 2 of them, once she assured me they were not "hot" spicy.  When I ate them, they were very filling and had an interesting, mild, flavor. 

Ron was curious about the curried goat, but decided against it in favor of the jerk chicken.  The owner asked him why he didn't want the goat, and I said "I don't think he's drunk enough to try goat".  I got Ron a ginger beer (good for the digestion) and myself two cans of Diet Coke. 

We sat down.  I ate most of my beef patties and gave Ron the remaining 25% of one patty I hadn't been able to finish.  He liked it too.  He enjoyed the jerk chicken, and the plaintains, but didn't like the rice.  He said it had a strange spice in it. 

Well, Ron, that's kind of the point when you're eating ethnic food: strange spices.  I suggested he ask for "no rice" next time.  He agreed. 

We left and waited outside the pupusa place.  We had set our pickup for there so we couldn't change it. 

The waitress was very nice, brought us each a diet Coke and brought me a chair.  I thought that was very sweet.  Ron gave her some money. 

He was not clear on who the money was for, she came out and said thank you. 

To my understanding, you just gave her a nice tip, and I'm sure she thinks that too. 

The owner came out and explained they had a small fire and would be out of order for a couple days.  Ouch. 

Our ride came and we left.  One of the other clients in the vehicle, who didn't speak good English, accused Ron of being drunk.  He probably still was. 

What could I say to that?  I just kept talking to the driver. 

We got home and found #6's yard guy had parked his trailer, completely blocking our driveway.  I was not happy I had to push Ron out of the street and all the way up the driveway.  Ron was complaining and cussing the guy out, I said don't do that, because he wants us to get upset.  Us getting upset is his payoff.  Just ignore it all and he doesn't get his prize. 

When we got in the house, Ron said he was going to ask the owner of the pupusa place if she got "her money" the next time we went, and make sure the waitress had given it to the boss. 

To my logic, he gave the money to the waitress.  I don't recall him saying anything to her about giving the money to the boss.  I said that and I also said it would be unfair to get the waitress into trouble over the "tip".  "The money went where it needed to go" I told him "The woman lives on tips and she hasn't gotten any all day". 

That's when he went off on me for "giving unwanted advice" and "Trying to control him".  No, I'm trying to make sure a really sweet girl does not get fired because Ron was a bad communicator.   Not fair.  Not cool. 

If I have to, I will give Ron the money myself just to make sure he doesn't get this girl fired.  He didn't say "Give this to your boss".  He said "I want you to have this".  Not fair.  She probably really needs that money and how cruel is it to come along after the fact and say "That was for your boss". 

I am pretty upset about this. 

Ugh.  I don't think those Jamaican beef patties are settling very well.  I keep burping spices.  At least they got along with my medication, and didn't interact in any way. 

Ron "forgot" to call in my trip to Walmart tomorrow so I will have to pay for a ride or go on Wednesday after we, I mean I, take Torbie to the vet. 

My shoulder is yelling at me so I'm going to cut it short. 

Have a good one.