I want to be a good influence

Well, I'll tell you. 

My old computer didn't work with the new monitor.  So Ron bought me a new computer. 

I am loving it.  I just need to move my music. 

Since I have already taken my "stupid" (Wellbutrin), I'll wait for another day off, get up, take care of the computer, and then take the antidepressant. 

I had a dream last night I was very depressed, and eating a lot of chocolate.  In reality, my mood is more mixed.  I can tell because I lick my lips a lot when I'm manic, and they're chapped from it. 

It's very nice.  The display is astounding, huge, surreal.  "I could really watch some movies" I told Ron "On this thing".  I might look into getting Netflix. 

And it has autocorrect so I don't look as medicated as I am. 

Last night I gave the pizza guy a bag of New Testaments and candy.  He was pretty happy to see it; even more when he sees I put a few Spanish in there. 

I don't say it to inflate myself; if anything I lose rewards by talking about it. 

Matthew 6:2 NKJV
Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.

I talk about this to encourage, and hopefully incite you into a few actions of your own.  I want to be a good influence. 

I am finally sleeping better.  Nothing helps my sleep like "No cancer".  No surgery either, unless Ron really botches his management and gets toxic. 

Might I add I am "super" glad I don't have to learn colostomy care?  [grin]  I would, if I had to, because I signed up for everything. 

If I believed in a quid pro quo marriage, which I don't, I would say I "owed" it to Ron for hanging in there during my Bad Years when I was sick, undiagnosed, and often just plain Evil. 

But I don't believe in that kind of marriage.  I give 100%.  Ron gives what he can (lately, I feel, 100%).  Point being: I don't think what I give should be dependent on what he does. 

I don't want that kind of marriage, and I know Ron doesn't either.  That's why I take great pains NOT to be the "After all I've done for you, you'd have been lost without me, without me you'd be in a nursing home".  He already knows that. 

If I want to be a good person then I have to act like one. 

So, we see the doctor in a couple hours for his final diagnosis.  I brought my Merck Manual and The Pill Book - I can figure things out when we're waiting on our ride. 

I'll keep you posted.