A problem

Ron's totally drunk. 

Tonight, I understand, he meets with the doctor tomorrow.  But, really?  Do "we" have to be verbally abusive and belligerent tonight?   Couldn't be nice to me, who's going to be his caregiver, make me want him to make it through surgery? 

It makes me wonder how he will manage if he has to have a resection, and can't eat (or drink alcohol) for days.  I think it will be a very difficult adjustment.  Maybe what he needs, or maybe he'll just keep going. 

I had a pretty stressful day.  I didn't sleep well last night, woke up depressed.  Then we went to the warehouse.  Ron wanted probably 50 cases of drinks, leaving minimal room for "my" snacks.  When they call in a complaint, it's not "the machine was out of coke".  It ALWAYS pertains to a snack machine.   I managed, barely. 

I just told him I need "half an hour on the computer" and he blew up at me.  Oh, boy. 

Well {shrug] I have to have boundaries.  If I don't, he will totally consume me with "serving" him. 

When he's sober he understands all this. 

Anyway, work.  I got it all in the truck, barely.  I kept cringing every time we took a turn, expecting something to fly off. 

I was completely pissed this morning.  "He knows you have a tumor, and are passing blood clots.  And he's going to take you to buy alcohol?"  I could hardly speak. 

"Yes" Ron told me placidly "He offered before all this happened, and I called him (after the ER visit and diagnosis) to tell him I wanted to do it today after work." 

I just shook my head.  I have never seen a clearer example of enablement. 

And people blame ME for the drinking! 

As I interacted with the driver, I didn't say anything.  I was just professional and let Ron do all the talking.  Ron tried to give the guy his security badge and I yelled "NO".  The last thing we need is the guy wandering around the plant, getting caught, getting us thrown out.  He also has a bad habit of making "humorous" offensive comments to people and getting them quite upset.  I had to explain they have a very strict sexual harassment policy now and one of his comments could get us in trouble, out of business, and no more trips back to work to heckle the postal workers.  I didn't say the last. 

He is more subdued now, but why should I even have to tell him not to say "Going to have fun?  Don't get caught!" to a married woman as she left work.  She came stomping back to him and gave him holy hell as I silently applauded. 

I just don't need it.  

If Ron has a colon resection (long recovery on that) I will be using someone else as my driver.  The other guy talks incessantly and really doesn't understand "personal space" but is harmless.

It was oppressively hot and humid.  It was absolutely miserable work unloading that truck.  I wish I had taken an extra salt tablet today.  I did when I got home.  I'm glad I cut my hair, it's much more workable length. 

We got into work and things practically exploded.  A soda machine was down.  A snack machine wasn't accepting coins.  People needed change.  They had questions.  They wanted to buy things off the cart before we even stocked.  They kept me very busy, which I needed. 

We worked without ceasing.  I stocked everything but pastries, and I'll get that tomorrow. 

Ron had arranged for the driver to come back.  He came back 15 minutes early and blew up Ron's cell phone yelling at him.  I wasn't finished. 

I went out 5 minutes before the agreed upon time, to get a massive attitude.  This is why I really want to cultivate more drivers.

People have to understand things change in a small business.  If we say we will be ready at 1, we will.  But it might be 1:05 if we have an emergency.

Anyway, I went home.  My cell phone was being awful.  I couldn't fix it.  I got pretty upset.  I finally thought "I have never fixed anything when I am upset".  It's better to just go away for a while and calm down.

I took a very short nap, and tried again.  Nothing.

We had a trip to fast-food.  I walked over to a Cricket place from there, and she fixed it.  Bad SIM card.  Yay, working.

I was so upset, thinking how much I am going to need my phone if Ron needs surgery.  I was pretty unraveled.  But I did give her a Bible, maybe that was the whole point.

I then went to a dollar store, spent about $6, and hit the Indian import store again.  He talked me into buying some Basmati rice in addition to my lentils and sesame seeds.

I am trying to eat more natural foods.  Things that actually look like they did when they came out of the ground.  We'll see how it works.

I went back to the restaurant and we came home.

Ron got drunk.

He didn't even want to eat dinner at the restaurant because "I get [drunker] on an empty stomach."  I forget how he phrased it.  I couldn't help but wonder:

What is it going to take for you to realize you have a problem?