I did

A woman at work comitted suicide recently. 

Suicide is always a shock and horror to the "survivors".  I really wish I had never been that depressed, but I can offer a unique perspective. 

When suicidally depressed, the victim sees one way out = death.  It really doesn't matter what's good in their life, a child, religous faith, a spouse, money, or friends.  All they see is an unending world of pain; and more to come.  I told Ron once, "You could lay a dozen roses in my lap and tell me we won the lottery, and I'd still want to die". 

Nothing,  is worse than the thought of waking up tomorrow.  Nothing.  Even death is better, and in fact, preferable.  The thought of continued existence in the pain is just unthinkable. 

That said, I realized I did have choices.  I went to the hospital; and asked for help.  I got medication, took it, and improved.  I haven't been suicidal in years. 

If your depression is affecting your ability to live your life; if things aren't getting done because you just CAN'T; and the thought of waking up tomorrow is just awful to you, it's time to get help.  Make the call. 

Call 911, call a doctor.  Go to an emergency room and tell them you need help; and you'll get it.  Give the medication some time to work, and be gentle to yourself in the meantime.  You have a terrible illness, with a 10% or better mortality rate. 

You'd be kind to yourself if you had cancer.  You'd get help if you found a strange lump or started urinating blood; so be kind to yourself and get help for the depression. 

Soon, you'll find a quality of life you never dreamed was possible. 

I did.