Saturday, May 1, 2021

More depressed today

 I was really beating myself up over the house, needed to be swept.  I felt like I had to sweep, mop, all of it.  I decided to take small bites and sweep one room at a time, got it all done and even cleaned the toilet.   So glad I got that just - Saturday - so really sad again.  I think a part of it the Fire Department is about a mile away and I have heard the sirens a couple times today.  Whenever I hear fire truck sirens I wonder if they ran them on Ron's case.  I don't recall hearing them.  But then again I had just found my husband dead.  

So, fire trucks on a Saturday are hard and there have been a lot of calls today.  :(  

I am eating right, aside from a handful of sour gummy worms I had plenty of protein and 4 servings of vegetables, plenty of fluids to stay hydrated.  

Just a bad day for depression and being unemployed does not help.  When I was a teenager I made up a slang phrase I put in my diary "ET" for "emotionally tired".  That's it today.  

Don't get me wrong, if an employer is reading this, I want to work, it takes my mind off my troubles.  It is just killing me to sit around the house.  

 

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