The days are running together

 I had more drama than I wanted yesterday, getting to work.  

I had a nice 20 minute window between my local bus and the other bus (call them X and Y).  The X was due to come at 11:00.  It was late, and I had about 15 very bad minutes thinking I was going to miss my connecting bus.  NOT fun.  Swore to God I would never do that again.  

What does that mean?  It means I have to get to work an hour early every day BUT I am OK with that I would rather be early than late.  They fire you for being late, if I am early no one will care as long as I punch in properly.  I was also told I would only work 4 days a week.  

By the way I think it is OK to say I have an app on my phone to punch in/out/mealtimes.  It is cute.  

I am finding a greatly reduced desire to actually shop at Walmart now.  I need to get some tampons, and cat food, today, and that is all I plan to get.  Normally I would browse a little and throw some extra items in the cart.  But I will get a six pack of caffeine free diet Coke if I can.  I like that on my break and it won't aggravate my anxiety.  

I don't plan to gossip about the company/job I don't want that to come back on me.  But I can do the work.  

My aunt got some good news the legal aid people (not actual legal aid but something like it) have taken my case.  She is really happy about that.  They sent a welcome packet which she is probably working on right now.  She has a lot of information already but if they need copies of ID or documents I can of course do that.  I am glad they felt I was sympathetic.  

I mean, I adored the man, cared for him 29 years, refused to put him in a nursing home, "let" him die at home the way he wanted...lost my job... just trying to keep my house and the cats.  It is sad.  But I would do it again.  

I had talked about how I would really get on with the grief process once I got a job and sure enough it happened that way.  Once I was out of survival mode it hit me hard.  But I am functional.  

Jack has been giving me rides home when I work late night he doesn't like the idea of me walking home from the bus stop.  I pay him of course, he seems happy with what I give him (about what a uber would  run).  

Anxiety has been pretty bad I can admit that, but my doctor and I don't want me on anxiety meds.  I am being very strict with my caffeine intake and of course getting a fair amount of exercise walking to/from bus stops.  

That's it for now.