Think about it, stare mournfully at the dead body for 10 minutes, sniff a few times, hide when morgue comes to take him away. Cry all over the house looking for him for a night. Then back to normal.
The human way of grief is much more inefficient. I am sitting here at my desk wondering how much you want to hear about my grief. Good question.
I am OK at work, usually. Different things will make me sad but not cripple me, like the other day a woman was hanging up a pair of Ron's favorite shorts, they are a basic knit short with an elastic waist. He lived in them every time we went out in the summer, for years. Home is worse. I miss him terribly, I'm depressed, I get angry at the driver who killed him. I get sad. I worry about my future. It's all a big tangle.
I did do my God Time today so proud of that. However, something in my tree crapped on me during the evening portion of my devotionals. I have some "morning and evening" devotionals (3) so I try to get both sides every day. Rarely I will miss the evening but I don't usually miss the morning.
Happily it was just a leg but I will have to watch that.
Generally I just leave the house and go straight to work when I work. I don't sit around under the tree which looks like a good practice now.
I also found a dead bird by my bed. Not sure who got that but likely Spotty or Cleo. I got rid of it, trash comes tomorrow.
But my aunt did a lot today; put herself on the mortgage as an authorized representative, turned off Ron's phone she said they were very sorry to hear about him. Also fixed the insurance so I am primary on that. Glad that is all done the man with the mortgage company was a little stiff but seemed sincere in his condolences.
It was just a rough day for grief. But I will get through it, I have to think I will be better in a year or two.
I am sure not looking to go through this again any time soon.
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