Finally over the migraine, it was a bad one. I took some Phenergan in the middle of the night and that helped me sleep.
I am still tired but I didn't sleep well, that's OK.
And I was thinking, I am so tired of being disgusted with my in-laws, I decided to write them a letter. I will not mail it, only 2 of them left, Ron's brother and sister. Of course her sons but they are incidental to this.
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You never liked me from the time Ron first called to told me you had met. The first time we met you snuck up on Ron like a criminal and went "Aha" when I judged you as being a bad guy. When I went to visit in Houston you judged me more and let me know I would never be good enough for your family.
Even Ron used to say things like "They had better like you, if I have to choose I will pick them". So I ran around sucking up to you, kissing butt. I remember one Christmas I made you all handmade candles and you didn't even say thank you, then, a month later, asked me to make more of the candles because "You liked the scent after all", still never saying thank you. And Ron used to say I wasn't "good enough" to have the family name, when we fought.
Then the accident. I understood you didn't want to take care of him. You had been burned out on Rufus although that was done with selfish motives, taking care of a dying old man in hopes of getting a big settlement from his estate. Well, that sure backfired on your parents, didn't it? They didn't get any money so they figured why bother helping anyone. Including their own son.
Thank God he did not have Medicare or you would have stuck him in a facility and only seen him for 10 minutes a couple times a year, probably wouldn't have let me visit either. But I knew a secret: Ron always did better when I was around. So I hung onto that and did whatever I could to help him.
And that's where we clashed, you wanted the lazy, easy, way out. As Helen told me "I don't want to wipe anyone's butt" to which I replied "I will take care of that, all I need is a ride now and then". But no, you wanted him out of your hair, out of your life. If I took him and cared for him myself that would make you look bad, and you couldn't have that.
For people who gossiped a lot you sure hated to be talked about. I find that rich. You thought you would be sympathetic figures if you put him in a nursing home, and a bad guy if you left him with me. And no one ever bothered to ask Ron what he wanted, except his Dad. And Ron said he wanted to go home with me.
So he did but not before you backstabbed me and talked a bunch of trash to the hospital workers about me. And they laughed in your face because they had seen me there, 24/7 for weeks.
Ron was so upset at first you wouldn't talk to him, he used to call and leave messages, beg you to talk. You refused. Then he believed me, he hadn't up to that point, that you wanted to put him in a nursing home to get out of helping me. So other people helped me and we did just fine for over 18 years.
At the end of it he didn't need you, didn't even invite you to the wedding. Because we knew you would show up, gossip, and try to ruin our day. And we didn't want that. We did invite Ron's dad who had to make an excuse why he "couldn't" come.
I feel bad for him, he wanted to help but you wouldn't let him. And when he had problems from Parkinson's I have no doubt you called him "crazy" before you put him in a nursing home. He had done everything to take care of you and you just threw him out. Then when your mother needed help you threw her away too.
And what have your kids learned? Those of you who have kids - they've learned to throw you away when you need help because no one deserves any help. I understand there are times you can't help, Ron at the end was getting to that point, where I worried leaving him alone, but at least I TRIED for 18 years, and he was still living at home when he did die. I have no regrets about the time I spent on him, it was a growing experience for both of us.
But you? You're the worst kind of trash. I am sorry I ever met you. I hope you get exactly what you dished out and end up in the WORST sort of hellhole when you get feeble. But Jesus died for you and I pray for your salvation everyday and continue to pray for the strength to forgive you.
Only God can love you; I am working with Him to get His love for you because I have none of my own. You broke Ron's heart and he always called me a Mama bear. I couldn't care less about what you did to me but I have a hard time forgiving what you did to him.
Enjoy the harvest you have coming.
Heather (good enough for the last name after all).
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