Another blackout

8 PM
I went to bed around 6, and for once I fell asleep on time. 

I was awakened at 7:30 by Ron, screaming curses.  He has peed on the floor, twice.  I don't know what he did to the bathtub. 

He threw his phone under the fridge, and I'm not going to help him find it.  He took his pants off, fell down repeatedly, and has been demanding a "dialogue" with me. 

He has called me all kinds of names, primarily "bitch" and his old favorite "broken piece of shit".  He kept going on for a while about how I was so "superior" (I kept him from going outside, naked, and letting the cats out.  I was also verbally directing him to the bathroom). 

He has screamed "I hate you" endlessly for a good 10 minutes, and said, in his own drunken way, that I may think it is because he's drunk but he truly, deeply, "hates" me.  He said he feels trapped (!) and wishes we had "some other way".  Don't we both. 

He is also "entitled" to have an affair because I am fat.  No man, apparently, wants to have sex with a fat woman, which I believe would be quite a shock to millions of women worldwide. 

2 AM
He kept me up most of the night screaming periodic profanities at me.  He is going to be as tired as I am, today. 

I was creeped out at one point when he sat on the walker outside my bedroom, muttering "Are you asleep, bitch?"  He muttered "Bitch" very quietly, again and again.  It was really disturbing, more than the outright screaming. 

I kept wondering if he was going to come after me somehow, and that was a new one. 

What a night. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
I hate he calls you these terrible names, even if you know it is all crap,and deflection it still chips at your ego. I wish there was something i could say, but probably the venting here helps. I just wish you didnt have to hear it so much. You are valuable please know that. He is so unhappy and it isnt your fault at all. Please dont ever think that
Anonymous said…
Have you ever videod these episodes and let him listen or would that make it worse? I dont know but this sounds bad again . Be strong look out for yourself

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