A frustrating day

Well, Ron had a blackout but he didn't "point" any of it at me.  Just the usual, grunting, falling on the floor, etc.  He kept me up half the night.  Of course he didn't remember any of it. 

I wondered it he would be fit for work, or had even called in the trips, but he had.  He got ready for work and was ready on time. 

"Did I have the blackout" he asked "After I went and had that extra drink around midnight?"  Thank God I didn't know about that, not really. 

He admitted he went over his portion control "because I was eating a hamburger and I didn't want it to mess with the alcohol [absorption]"  I told him that was a bad idea but didn't get all shriek-y. 

Sometimes he will starve himself the whole day, come home, and drink, "because I get more of a kick if I drink on an empty stomach".  But he doesn't have a problem, just ask him. 

Of course nothing can happen as regards rehab of any sort, until he does admit: I have a problem and 2.  I don't have control over it.  I learned that much from AA. 

Work was pretty uneventful, but something funny did happen: I was bent over, with my head inside a vending machine.  I was trying to get the bucket of nickels so I could fill a change bank.  Someone walked up behind me.  "Hi Heather!"  I said Hi back and teased her about recognizing my butt.  I thought that was so funny, walks up, sees my butt, "Hi Heather". 

It just makes me smile. 

We came home, I ate something and took my pills.  I took a nap because I was exhausted from the sleep deprivation the night before.  I slept enough to catch up, and had Torbie in the bed. Biscuit joined me at erratic intervals. 

He seems to have learned his lesson about his nums.  I noticed they (Biscuit and Baby Girl) ate all their breakfast this morning.  They usually leave 2/3 of it to waste.

When I finish this, I'll give him another can.  He's a good boy. 

Ron was petting Torbie and found part of her fur was matted.  Now he's all freaked out.  He "had" to clean her with a wet wipe.  When that didn't do the trick he called the vet.  Of course they want their exam fee, so they'll see her.  What a waste of time and money.  I am certain she is fine. 

Ron once took a cat to the vet "because he was purring too loud, and something had to be wrong with him".  We haven't spent enough on vet bills, so we have to go tomorrow.  I was also annoyed he did not consult me before he called the office and set up the appointment. 

Ugh. 

Then, all day, he's bugging me, let me know if you want to order Chinese food.  I finally decide, yeah, sounds good.  But he's "on the phone" texting so I have to wait. 

Now, I was taught, if someone is in front of you give your attention to that person.  You don't hold up your hand and make them wait because texting LOL ROFLBAO is more important. 

I won't stand around and wait on him when he's doing that, as I find it rude.  I am your wife.  God knows he has tantrums if I don't hang up the phone when I'm talking to someone, or "pass on" all his commentary. 

Finally he deigns to listen to me.  I tell him I am ready to order Chinese food, but it is so late now you will have to get something too, or I will have to get a double order.  I told him what I wanted and left. 

A couple minutes later, I am in the kitchen and he yelled a question at me.  I answered him twice and he kept saying he couldn't hear me.  How about you take off your headphones, huh?  I hate it when he talks to me while wearing headphones and then complains he can't hear me. 

So, the third time, I yelled "Yes" loud enough that he could hear it.  But now his precious feelings are hurt because I was mean, and raised my voice to him.  So, because I was "mean", he wouldn't call in the order until I "apologized for yelling at him".  I explained, you couldn't hear me unless I yelled.  It didn't register. 

What I hate, but he didn't do tonight, is tell me I'm not mad at Ron (telling me what to think and feel), I'm mad at God because God made Ron deaf.  No, Ron was a drummer in a rock band (for a little while).  Ron listened to music at high volume on headphones.  Ron had bad DNA for nerve deafness.  None of that is my fault.  Besides, like I said, I am 95% sure he was wearing his headphones at the time. 

He kept waiting for my "apology".  Why should I apologize for raising my voice to someone who didn't hear me?  He heard me when I did, right? 

I figured screw it.  I have cottage cheese.  I'll eat that.  So I did.  Ron kept waiting for me to "apologize" so he could call in the order but I won't.  I didn't do anything wrong.  It's not my fault he's deaf, I have no reason to apologize. 

I saw/read something recently about how women are always apologizing for things that aren't their fault, so I have made a concerted effort NOT to do that.  That just feeds his ego and makes him a victim.  The last thing Ron needs is coddling.  He needs a good, swift, kick in the butt. 

But I am sick of coddling the poor, precious baby.  We are going to waste over $100 tomorrow over nothing, NOTHING because he doesn't like the way my cat's fur feels.  She's fine, doing all her normal activities.  You take a cat to the vet when they're sick. 

Not when their fur feels "funny".

Comments

Anonymous said…
I would call and cancel the appointment and explain why! Ron makes me so angry. Good for you for not apologizing to him. I don't know how you live with that man.
Oh i hope he cancels that appt Heather yes he certainly over reacted! And bravo for only appologizing when you feel you need to. He is baiting you for a fight i am sorry. Resist the urge to become prey to caregiver burn out. You keep restoring yourself. Much love
Anonymous said…
Lolol love the butt recognition how funny! How did it go today?
Anonymous said…
My Dh was famous fir turning things around on me and I was always apologising.
Now I can see it coming and I call him on it
He quit that behavior when I told him "you're not going to turn that around on me"

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