Saturday, July 2, 2016

Portion control

Ron and I have chatted, off and on, about his blackout.  I kept it classy on my end and didn't get all shriek-y.   If I come on strong he won't hear me. 

Anyway, I made a couple of points. 
  • I need my sleep.  Every night. 
  • He degrades himself when he acts like this.  Does he really want to be the guy who did that?
  • One day he is going to seriously hurt himself and I will have to call him an ambulance.  I know he loathes spectacles. 
  • He needs to figure out his portion control, stop drinking altogether, or drink something like beer, where one can is one serving. 
He agreed with all my points.  He said he realizes he can't drink "as much" vodka as he thought he could, he even, on his own, mentioned that he is aware what he sees as one serving is actually a couple (I helped him measure one time). 

Why won't I give him an ultimatum?  A couple reasons, one, AA says if you're going to do that you need to be prepared to follow up.  I agree.  Second, I don't think we're quite at that point yet.  Third, the fact that I work with Ron vastly complicates things.  He can run the business without me (per the bylaws of his organization), but I cannot run the business without him.  And he cannot run the business without a trained, skilled, assistant.  One who can do heavy labor. 

So, if I leave, I'm taking the business with me, so to speak.  I told Ron I would help him train someone if he really wanted me out of his life but he said he would "give it all up and [go move into subsidized independent living senior housing].  That's a pretty big leap, and once all that is gone we can't get it back. 

So I'd have to be damned, 1000% sure, there is no hope at all before I make that move.  I'm not there yet. 

Even my aunt is skeptical.  "He gets better, he gets worse" she basically said "But he always gets worse". 

I believe, at the end of it, Ron does not want to be the guy who fell into the tub, who degraded himself and hurt me, who scared the cats while pushing the walker around (I was most angry about that, as you might expect). 

I believe Ron does not want to be "that guy".  I'd give up an ovary to get him on some good antidepressants. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I guess thinking ahead is good, i am so sorry you day had to ever have thoughts so sad! You are very strong, but there is a point and hopefully Ron reels himself in sooner vs later. He makes himself so sick with alcohol. I font drink. For the exact reason you don't.

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