Thursday, March 10, 2016

It was pretty bad

It rained pretty hard last night, the bayous got up pretty far but no flooding.  I did worry a little, though. 

I woke up with a headache, I'm not sure if that's due to the pizza or the weather.  Maybe both.  I took some generic headache tablets.  The caffeine helped boost me out of the depression. 

I am certain every bipolar victim is a caffeine abuser.  How could we not abuse it? 

I did my God time and took my shower.  I did my "upper lip" beauty treatment.  Normally I don't bother but I saw a woman with a mustache the other day and it was pretty off-putting. 

I try to comport myself, even when depressed, as if Ron might regain his vision at any moment.  If he suddenly got his sight back, would he run screaming? 

I don't worry too much about hands; I just trim my nails and leave them natural.  My feet:  I have a corn on my left foot, I rub it with a pumice stone regularly.  I trim my toenails.  Good enough. 

My hair is really simple now, great when I'm depressed.  Even on truck day it was easy to brush it a few times and get it ordered. 

I did some more work on my afghan while I waited.  I will "run out of yarn" about the same time I will 1.  Be utterly sick of it and 2.  Have it up to a good size.  Good. 

Then I think I'll do my Dad's afghan.  It will be (he never reads the blog) this:

Stranded with black.  It will be an interesting mix, and very different from my shades of blue. 

Then probably my mauve and cream, then the more subdued shades of blue.  At some point I want to do this:

with some black, also. 

See, this is the thing I like about my medication.  Yes, I am depressed, but I can still think about my next project.  I can do the laundry. 

I remember once asking Ron would he rather I did laundry or washed dishes, because I couldn't do both.  He told me laundry.  We got disposable plates, which we still use. 

It was pretty bad. 

I used to go to work and sit in the stockroom, on a milk crate, too depressed to even think about stocking the vending machines. Sometimes merchandise expired before I even had a chance to stock it.  Bad times. 

These days, life still sucks when I'm depressed, but at least I can think about my next project. 

I'll take what I can. 


Anonymous said...

Such pretty colors your dad will adore his I am sure! how fun! how many skeins do you use for a a blanket?
I need a new project will have to go to see what is on sale at our craft stores. I used to buy yarn at the second hand stores but lately with "bed bugs" I buy nothing fabric second hand that I can not put from a bag in to the washer. Sad but true .

you have come so far managing life over the years I have followed you and I have gone back and read from early on in your blog. You are a wonderful roll model for all folks struggling to live with a diagnosis of the brain.

as always I thank you so much for your validation and hope others feel like I do aobut the generosity you have in sharing your life. While I know it helps you to journal. It helps us equally
thank you!

I showed my hsuband the woman on the truck and he agrees she is a life lesson for anyone bipolar we all agree you are right she is off the charts manic. Do you know what came of it? I hope she was "ok" afterwards.

we also both agree for a moment what she was feeling? probably the most "free" feeling anyone could ever have, until the reality sets in and the crash hits her.

she coudl be someone behind anyone in a grocery store one day buying food or planning dinner, the next day with out her meds up on top a truck dancing in traffic stark naked.

mental health needs to be thought of as important as any other part of keeping a person healthy
but we are so awkward even talking about it honesty

so thanks Heather! you talk!

you are a success that is for sure as as bad and sick as you feel on the meds and dealing with Ron? you seem to always find a sunny spot to focus on!

Heather Knits said...

I plan to use 5 of the variegated and 4 solid black.

I haven't heard what happened to the woman on the truck, I assume she "went downtown" (to our inpatient facility) for a while until they could get her stabilized. Since she blocked traffic and evaded capture for a while she may also have some criminal charges, but I can't see the DA getting aggressive with her, especially if she was "sick".

I need to stay top notch

I had one of those nights were I slept fine, but woke up exhausted.  All this running the last couple weeks is wiping me out.  I did have ...