Embarrassed

Ron's been terrorizing the thermostat for a while, hitting it.  It is now currently pulled out and taped back on the wall, sideways. 

Ron has been drinking since we got home from work, and decided to call Rick the Electrician.  Rick has helped us with some small jobs around the house, over the years.  Kitchen light fixture.  Ceiling fan.  Bad outlet.  That kind of thing. 

The [shrug] usual small household electrical jobs. 

Ron finally called Rick to work on the thermostat.  It shouldn't take much.  I think it just needs to be taken off and remounted.  It does work, it just has an intermittent connection. 

I just wish Ron had waited on the drinking.  He's a little ornery. 

I have to remind myself I don't need to be embarrassed.  Am *I* acting appropriately?  If I am, then I should have no shame.  If Ron is acting badly, I remind myself, it only makes him look bad.  I don't have to receive the embarrassment, etc. 

A good example.  We went to the warehouse after work.  Ron kept saying he needed "Can Cokes".  What he meant was "Can Diet Cokes".  I bought what he asked for, verifying it a couple of times, and he was livid when he found out he got the regular Cokes.  He was yelling at me, in the vehicle, in front of the driver. 

I told Ron to cut it out, the driver didn't deserve it.  She said it was OK, but at the same time she was rubbing the back of her neck and flicking her hair nervously. 

"No, it's not alright" I said.  Ron finally did cork it, but it was very awkward in the vehicle.  I am certain the driver hopes she never sees us again. 

 Later, we were discussing our guy with a truck.  I said I don't like funding his "generous boyfriend" arrangements.  He pays most, if not all living expenses, etc... in exchange for...

I said I didn't feel I could support that lifestyle, as a Christian, and one reason I did not want to just give him money (other than hiring him to drive us or taking him to lunch).  I told Ron (because the truck is broken, again) if he wanted to pay for the repair, pay the shop, I wouldn't have a problem with that as long as we had an "in exchange for X trips to work". 

When we have loaned him money (which I hated due to the above), he never paid us back on time.  Ron had to scream at him, several times, months after the agreed upon repayment date, in order to get repaid. 

Ron and I agreed if we ever give him cash (not paying for rides), we will just make it a gift.  

Ron called him and told him I didn't want to "support his girlfriends".  I was horrified.  I assumed it would have been confidential. 

While I feel it's a moral thing, I don't believe in moralizing people who are, essentially, unreached.  Calling someone a sinner just pisses them off.  Ron says the guy found it "funny".  I hope so. 

I would have just said, "I'll pay the mechanic if you give us ___ rides" and left it at that.  I wouldn't have said, ever "I will only pay the mechanic because we don't want you to spend it on your [woman]" (so to speak, which I believe is pretty much how Ron conveyed it). 

Now, I could be really embarrassed.  Or I could just say, Ron's the one who did that, not me.  And Ron drinks enough that it might not be my viewpoint after all.  [shrug] 

If it comes up, I'll just say "What you do with your life is your business".  I don't need to moralize him.  It would just piss him off. 

So, back to the electrician. 

Ron was pretty obviously drunk during the visit.  I found that awkward and, yes, embarrassing.  They (2 of them) kept looking from him back to me like "Do you know he's sloshed?"

Yeah, I do.

At least he was a good tipper.