Friday, December 12, 2014

Bacon Cheeseburger Handout

I expect trouble with every handout.  It can come before, during, or after the Handout. 

During generally equates to a migraine, or bad weather.  Once it was a very stinky dead rat on my median. 

Today I had transportation issues - at least getting there.  Our pickup ride was very late.  Then he failed to check his computer - drove us nearly all the way to the handout location, had to do a u-turn half a mile from our drop, and ended up getting us there nearly an hour late. 

I was very calm.  "They're not ready yet (recpients).  They're still waking up."  Ron was a little more vocal.  Yeah, the driver screwed up but Ron's ongoing complaints more than punished him. 

The driver, in the meantime, decided he was my spiritual adviser.  In addition to a bunch of pompous windbag dogma, he tried to tell me I was doing the Handout "all wrong" by handing out (any) New Testaments (My crate had 90% whole Bibles). 

"You know" I told Ron "The mark of a true Bible teacher is humility."  I also thought the best teachers are always quoting various passages of Scripture.  

Ron reminded me of my first Bible handout, and I said.  "I tell you what.  I get the north side of the intersection, and I'll hand out what I choose.  You can have the south side, and hand out whatever YOU'D like."  He sputtered a lot - of course he'd tell me what to do, but to actually go do, himself?  [rolleyes] 

That one always stops them dead.  Some want to tell me how to do the Handouts.  Fine, go do your own handout.  I don't have a patent. 

Anyway, finally there.  Ron had to use the bathroom so we went to the Burger King.  I gave a Bible to a customer at the store, who held the door for Ron, then one to the guy waiting at the bus stop.  Finally, out on the blessedly empty median. 

Business was pretty good, right from the start, especially since it was nearly 10.  I had planned to be there during rush hour.  Well, post-rush was plenty busy.   I handed out 3 during the first light cycle. 

I did 60 in about an hour. 

One van load of spanish guys, looking interested.  I headed over, offering 2.  One frowned.  "We need 3".  I pulled out another and handed it over! 

Another car, she wanted a Bible right as the light was changing.  I ran over and tripped over a lane divider, falling into her car.  I was fine, the car was fine, she got her Bible.  I was a little embarrassed but not much. 

Funny - I have PTSD from Ron's accident and normally freak around any kind of traffic.  Not on a Handout. 

I got every pedestrian I could, and saturated the bus stop a couple times.

One family had two young men, Mom, Dad, and a baby in the stroller.  The boys were very interested, pointing at the sign and exclaiming among themselves.  I headed over, and offered 4 Bibles to the father.  He looked at me, baffled, as I showed him the sign and told him I'd be praying.  As I crossed back to the median, I saw him store the Bibles in the stroller.

I had a mature lady, laughing at me.  She finally rolled down the window.  "I'm a pastor's wife" she said.  "We have Bibles all over the house!"  I asked her to pray for the recipients.  She said absolutely.  "I do have a problem" she said.  "Someone just gave us a lot of Bibles and I don't know how to give them away."

Animatedly, I told her "Mardel, sharpie marker, posterboard, laminate".  I explained how "I just stand there and God brings them!"  She nodded, interested, and the light changed.  Off she went.

I would so love to see someone ELSE do a successful handout.

I saw a ton of Metrolift (paratransit), and I waved and grinned at them all.  They did double-takes, recognizing us (pretty hard to miss us Bouttes), and honked delightedly.  I had a lot of fun.

"I like the median" Ron told me.  "I like it a lot.  I really like the Burger King."  I agreed, my only complaint being the lane divider.  However, I was pretty used to it by the end, and I only tripped the one time.

I kept handing them out to groups of friends in cars, family members in cars, etc.  Some people clearly went out of their way to avoid me or look the other way.  Good.  Keeps me humble.

An attendant from the gas station came out and "swept the parking lot" for the duration of the Handout, probably trying to figure us out.  Since I don't accept money, touch the cars, or impede traffic, I am legally fine (for now).

I had some cars where they looked interested in a Bible, but I couldn't get over before the light change.  Others, driving past, looked very interested but couldn't stop or come back.

I pray I get them on the next handout.

Last one:  I had 2 Bibles left.  I headed over to a pickup.  An old man was driving, a younger man, clearly his son, in the passenger seat.  They had a doxie dog with them.  She was adorable.  I handed over the Bibles and the young man pulled out his wallet.

"Oh, I don't accept money"

The man gaped at me as the dog crawled across "Daddy's" lap and stuck her head out the window, sniffing my hand. 

"Wow" he said.  "Really?" 

"Nope" I grinned.  "I'll be praying!" 

The light changed and they left, as I yelled at Ron to roll up his sign.  He's always so shocked every time I tell him we're done with the handout. 

He was sure happy to carry the very light box, over to Burger King.  We got some bacon cheeseburgers and value fries.  Yum.  Then we took a bus home. 

Please pray for the recipients! 

As of now I have pretty much worked my way up and down a 12 mile stretch on Antoine, on the western border of a notorious ghetto.  I find it fascinating that I have a literal mission field. 


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