Loved

I am loved. 

That is really clear to me, today. 

I woke up with a migraine around 3 AM, fought it for a while (my faithful Torbie cat sleeping at my side in bed), gave up and took some fake exedrin at 5.  It abated a little, enough I could get out of bed without agony, go to the bathroom, and shower. 

I opted NOT to use anything scented on my face, and went with the unscented acne soap, instead.  I am hypersensitive to fragrance, and it hurts me, when I have a migraine.  Happily I also have unscented deodorant.   After my shower, I never use haircare products other than a ponytail holder. 

Ron and I talked for a little while, but decided: we had yesterday off.  Assured severe weather tomorrow.  We need sodas.  Had to work today. 

Ron didn't "make" me work, I chose to do it, because it is my business to and I want to be the best vendor.  He felt awful about it. 

First, though, we had to go to the bank and deposit the money for the property tax.  Goodbye, emergency fund.  The way things are going the dollar will be worthless pretty soon anyway. 

The way things are going I venture we'll be getting raptured right quick. 

Now, I don't always agree with my brother, but he made a good point about the whole Phil Robertson controversy.  Worth repeating:
In fact, he seems like exactly the type of person that one wou...ld expect to express the kind of views he has expressed. If anything, the lgbt community should be happy that freedom of speech is a universal value in the United States, and that so many people are voicing their support for the lgbt community. If they don't want this guy to be heard, I hope they don't expect to have the right to be heard either.

On that, we agree. 

Any sin will send you to hell.  Including sexual sins.  All sin is "bad".  All sin sends you to hell.  Jesus takes away your sin debt and gets you into heaven.  He also helps with impulses.  I'm done. 

I was a huge fornicator - Ron and I lived together, unmarried, for over 10 years.  Plenty of fornication (sex outside of marriage).  It cost me a lot.  I can see why God wanted me to protect myself by only having sex in a "sanctioned" marriage relationship (with a saved man).  Rebutting God cost me a lot of pain, not because He was out to punish me, but my choices led to painful consequences. 

However, God is able to use all things for good, including my choices.  I also remind myself I was insane at the time, which helps. 

So, onto my day.  I felt pretty awful at the bank, but I made it.  Frankly, I was a little relieved to get rid of the cash. 

I don't like valuable things.  I have to worry about protecting them.  I worry about losing them.  I worry about them being taken from me.  Better not to have them and focus on praying for the unreached or blogging. 

I'm not worried about "losing my safety net" because I know God is well able to take care of me.  If He can send someone to fix this: 

 

Then He can certainly keep my home "systems" (my biggest concern for the emergency fund) and my health going fine.  The only time I ever used it was when I found Bubba dying on the floor, I used some of it to pay for the cab to and from the animal hospital. 

 

So, release it to God. 

 

Now, the not so fun part - the wholesale club.  We needed soda.  Ron decided to get 2 instead of the 4 he'd originally planned (I was pretty poorly).  I got the drinks (bottled half liters) into the cart, got my pastry (I knew I needed that) and paid at the checkout. 

 

I almost vomited on the way to work, going along the Beltway.  No place to pull over! 

 

Note to self: next time I travel with a migraine, BRING A BUCKET. 

 

The driver didn't know, I think.  She just kept talking and she would have reacted if she'd known. 

 

I "let" Ron take the drinks out of the back as the driver looked at me in horror.  Ron was struggling, but so was I.  I tend to be overprotective anyway.  I hope he didn't pull anything. 

 

I got the cart, noting the other vendor is apparently still angry with us.  They threw my reindeer doorhanger on the floor and stomped on it (I can see the footprint), and then placed it on Ron's wheelchair. 

 

And they say I'm crazy?   What did the smiling felt reindeer toy do to you?  I brought it home. 

 

We got over to my vending machines and they looked good.  I tagged the pastry and stocked it, then stocked what little inventory I had (which was also the most popular).  I need another Hot Mix chips.  They can't get enough.  I also need more snickers, they are moving so fast I had to double-check the price.  Is the other vendor not selling them?   I didn't have time to look, but I wonder. 

 

Thank you, God, for the business.  While I was working and as we left, several people greeted me by name.  For a long time, they didn't know my name, but I guess my photo on one of the snack machines (posed with Ron), next to the sales message "Thank you for supporting Ron and Heather", did the trick.  They finally know us, separate from the other vendor (which was my goal). 

 

It is nice to have the affection of my "population".  That's what we in the blind vending business call our customers. 

 

Maybe they could also tell I still felt like crap.  I sure felt it. 

 

But, we got it all done.  We have tomorrow off and then will work on Sunday.  This is our busy season. 

 

One of the contractors told us we could sit on his tailgate, he parks near where the "bus shelter" used to be.  Someone cut the bolts and bulldozed the thing to a bare slab.  Not sure what that's about, but it's very inconvenient. 

 

Anyway, he has a distinctive vehicle so I sat on the tailgate until "about" our pickup time, then closed it and waited standing up.  By then, the worst of the migraine was gone.  Ron had a little trouble getting off the curb when our ride came.  I had to help him to the vehicle. 

 

I hope he didn't pull anything, lifting the soda.