Today, I just feel mentally sick. Depression. Really irritable (I haven't chewed Ron though). Exhausted. Bad dreams when I took my nap. Even Torbie woke me up banging around under the bed (after what?).
The Bible says to focus on good things.
Philippians 4:8
[ Meditate on These Things ] Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
It is easy to say, "Yeah, but Paul never suffered from psychotic mental illness and horrid depressions." Then I ask myself, how do I know that? I know Paul suffered a lot of trials. He was always getting whipped. Pretty awful stuff.
Would I want his life? Let's look:
2 Corinthians 11:25-28
New King James Version (NKJV)
25 Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— 28 besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches.
Hm. Not my idea of a good time. It's important to note, Paul wrote the first passage after he had suffered all these trials.
"Think about good things". Don't snarl because the kids next door are kicking the ball into the house again. Be glad they have parents who care about them getting exercise.
Today was so awful it was funny, this morning at least. Last night someone was playing music at a lower volume. I found it bothersome but I knew I could sleep. I did, OK I'd say.
I got up and did my God time (if I'm gloomy now, imagine me without my God Time). I didn't take a shower because it's my day off and I was depressed.
Our ride was due about 9:30 and Ron was sleeping. He lay in bed on his side, his faithful cat curled up behind his legs. She's very much a nearby kitty, but tolerates a fair amount of petting. She will growl at Ron when she's had enough, and leave.
Don't forget, she's part wild cat. Bengal.
In fact, I have seen someone's pet Leopard Cat roaming the neighborhood. I think that's one of her parents.
So, they looked cute, I didn't want to bother him.
Ron is smart enough to realize he'd get into trouble online. Smart, smart, man. I so admire him for that.
His computer is not online. It does have a "talker" program installed and is connected by USB to a basic printer.
My computer, a very used laptop, is online, but is not connected to a printer. It's in another room entirely.
So, I had to put my "invitations to the church Christmas program" (approved by Pastor Mike) on a flash drive. When I opened the file (I saved it as the proper document and all), it was gibberish.
I had 15 minutes before our ride. I worked on it for a bit but it was a ghastly mess of scrambled format.
I was upset, "I can't do this". Then I got the thought, from God, to write it out in longhand. I don't cursive, I print, but it is very readable. I did that.
Then we went to the Dollar Tree, got a few things, and left Ron inside while I went to the copy shop. I ran off 60 copies and had them cut in half (two invites per page). Our ride was an hour late, picking us up. Frustrating.
I was a mess, so I ate some spaghetti rings out of a can, took my meds, and took a nap. I didn't sleep well and had really disturbing nightmares.
I don't feel like I did much at all today.
Once it settles down next door, I'll start stuffing invitations into the Bibles. I hope someone checks it out.
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