It looks like a great corner. However, even with the raised median it isn't very safe. TONS of huge trucks roaring by, people driving while texting, and changing lanes without really looking. About an hour in, while I was quietly asking God if He wanted me to come back, a concerned older man yelled out his window, warning me it was very unsafe and "people run into that [median] all the time". I got the message.
Starting out, I had 2 diet Mountain Dews, which resulted in a massive panic attack because Ron wanted to walk around on the median rather than sit directly into the wheelchair. At another point he stood up (I guess to prove he "could") for a while, which I found pretty triggering. He sees it, I think, as me dominating him and not as me protecting him from harm. "Why can't I go over here? It's not safe? Really?"
[truck horn blast] "Maybe not, I'll sit down now." It was hurting me, but he didn't see it. A lot about me, not much about the handout - what Ron doesn't understand, not really, I have severe post traumatic stress since his accident. I freak out whenever I am near, or even in, a street. I couldn't ride the bus for years after his accident and I still have trouble with many intersections.
The handouts come from God's Grace, because I, Heather B, would rather lay in a pile of fire ants for a couple hours, than stand on a median in a busy street.
So. We got there. Everyone was very busy not noticing me. "Looking everywhere but me" I told Ron. I don't take that personally, they are either rejecting the Holy Spirit, or not ready yet, but they aren't ready. I'm interested in the "readies".
I saw probably a thousand cars drive by without handing out a single Bible. Half an hour passed. Ron was very discouraged. Kept saying we should move to a better location.
"God wants me here, today". When I figured out we weren't coming back I told him "We're ONLY here today, let's give them a chance." So, I stood there holding the "Free Bibles, God Loves You!" sign watching them pass.
One woman saw the sign and became so agitated I thought she'd spilled coffee in her lap. She kept tapping on the accelerator, trying to get away. I guess the Holy Spirit was convicting her. "I think she'd run the light, if she could, to get away from us" I told Ron.
One or two people waved, but everyone else just had dead faces when they looked at me. It was disheartening, but again at the same time I had to remember "It's the end times. Hearts are hard and cold." I also thought of Paul witnessing.
Acts 18:6
But when they opposed him and blasphemed, he shook his garments and said to them, “Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean. From now on I will go to the Gentiles.”
I kept thinking that "Your blood be on your own heads, I came out to witness, you had the chance. You are rejecting it. God can rapture us at any moment and then you will have to endure the tribulation. But I did what I could to keep you from wrath." [comments are moderated and hostile/apostasy ones deleted!]
I actually felt fine with the idea of standing there holding the sign, the Bibles at my feet for an hour. At least a couple of people were thinking. God calls us to be obedient. He calls us to be faithful. He doesn't call me to have great success with hundreds distributed every time I go. He calls me to go, and pray for them daily.
Finally, I got my first taker, a smiling lady wanted 3.
Then a guy way over in the right lane wanted one, but the traffic is insane - I told him to come back. He did. I was just delighted.
Then I had a clot of cars, every one wanted multiple Bibles. I had a few more after that and bam, time's up.
An hour and a half, 25 distributed. But I went.
Next time, a different location. I am thinking to get the Veterans and Antoine (I basically go up and down Antoine, a 9 mile stretch of a very busy street), and get the morning commuters again. I like them.
Then, after we finished, we only had to wait an hour on paratransit to take us home.
Good news, I have about a whole crate of Bibles for the next Handout.
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