Tuesday morning

 I had an interesting juxtaposition just now.  

I got an email from the Texas talking book program, and I paid my parents.  I read Dale Carnagie and believe it is super important to let people know they are doing a good job, I did, with the library, and they liked it so much they sent my comments to everyone working in the library.  That was nice, they are doing God's work keeping people busy during the pandemic.  Many seniors can't go to their day program but they can still read at home, that's important, because people decline when they aren't stimulated.  I didn't say all that but you get the idea.  

So I thought that was sweet.  They also asked how he found out about the program, I told them over 50 years now, he is such an old timer he used to get the records!   That's right the talking book would come on a stack of records.  They went to cassette tape in the 70's and then digital talking books about 15 years ago, they come on a USB cartridge you insert into the machine.  

I had gone into my email to check my balance, my bank does the very efficient thing with the daily email and all my transactions.  Very useful.  So I checked and I had the $250.  

Then I went and paid payment #9 on the loan.  

But libraries, and my stepmother... first of all you need to know my one grandmother was a librarian.  The other was a math expert (the schizophrenic).  But the librarian was very nice and loved reading, when she retired from her librarian job she actually managed the church library.  She used to leave me in the church library when I would visit her and she had a Bible study or prayer meeting.  I always had a good time.  

But,at some point early on, my birth mother and my stepmother had a conversation about me reading.  I think my stepmother said something like "Heather learned to read already and she loves it" and my mother said something like "I used to read a lot when I was manic look out for that".  I was told this on several occasions.  That my mother had said reading = mental illness.  

And we all know alcoholic bipolars who abandon/neglect their children are THE BEST experts on child rearing.  [sigh]  Anyway from that point my stepmother treated books, any books, as dangerous drugs.  She almost took my Bible away but I "told" and everyone told her she couldn't take a Bible away from a little girl, so I got to keep it,but it would go missing sometimes I would have to ask for it back.  After that she stopped talking about "Heather's problem with books" in public, because she looked utterly insane and people told  her that, but was adamant until the day I moved out I would become a mentally ill basket case if I was allowed to read - ANYTHING.  She would frisk me for books when I came home from school!  Search my room every night!  Rip up any books she could find!  It was insane!  

And I'm nuts?  All this on the word of my mother?   My mother would have been horrified if she had been told.  If she told them to pull out my toenails would they have done it?!  I have to wonder sometimes.  

When I got my Kindle I took great glee in showing her my device just for reading, with hundreds of books.  Of course she had to say it was great but it was my little defiance there.  

And even as an adult, on my medication reading is harder so I don't do it as much.  I mainly blog, message boards.  I hardly read at all, so when my Kindle broke it was sad but not a disaster.  I will get another one when I can but no rush.  Amazon is holding all my titles for me I can download them again for free.  I have the app on my phone, even.  

So that was weird having those two things in juxtaposition like that.  It just reminds me I have had a very strange time of it.  

That's it for now.