I have a right to grieve my losses

I told myself today, blogs are therapy for those who can't afford a therapist. 

Anyway, after my video blog (scroll down), God showed me something: I've never grieved what we lost. 

Ron and I lost a tremendous amount in the accident.  I lost that vital husband, the one who'd unload an entire pallet of soda and stack them 13 cases high, the guy who walked 2 miles to work each way while working 12-14 hour days.  Ron lost his mobility.  More than that, of course, but I never really grieved it. 

At first I was busy fighting to take him home, then I cared for him - a full time job for three.  We went back to work and I had to be the "everything" there - still am.  He got better, and worse, and worse again.  He went into the wheelchair full time. 

That's a hell of a ride.  I have a right to grieve my losses. 

Who would tell a person who lost a child: you need to forgive death for taking her from you?  You wouldn't.  You'd console them. 

It is OK for me to expect consolation when I share my feelings.  If, upon explaining my feelings, someone has a problem with that - that's on them. 

I'm not the bad guy for grieving.  If I don't, I'm liable to end up in big trouble.