In the Bible, one of the Old Testament prophets is prophesying against Israel. He chides them for depending on the nation of Egypt. They will let you down, like a reed that breaks and pierces your hand.
I have often thought of that verse when it comes to certain people. I don't know about you, but I have a mental list.
When something happens, who do I call? A good example is Ron's accident. I confided in many people. Some were absolutely dreadful to me; slandering me to my face, spreading horrible gossip, and enganging in massive finger-pointing. It taught me an important lesson: Not every one is a a comforter. They will say HORRIBLE things, even worse, BELIEVE them. No matter what happened, it's the victims's fault. You've met them. I KNOW you have.
Then you have people like my sister. A few years ago, things went all to hell during one of Ron's drunken blackouts. I called someone to come get me, and they did. See, they go in the comfort box. Then I called my sister, who's a great listener. She does not engage in finger pointing or blame.
I have people in my life who ought to be comforters. They love me, don't they? Don't they want to help me? But they can'r. They don't have the necessary make-up. Maybe they have too much pain of their own; maybe they have unresolved issues. Maybe they're just a butthead. So, I don't lean on them. If I do, they'll just let me fall.
My comfort list isn't as long as I'd like, but I know everyone on my list has a heart of solid gold. Maybe not all of them are people you'd expect, but they're THERE for me.
Choose carefully; not everyone can give you what you need. Even though they SHOULD.
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